LOLGAYS "NEWLY available Jamie-Lynn Sigler is a hot commodity. Since her split with nightlife king Scott Sartiano a few weeks ago, we've spotted a slew of guys putting the moves on the "Sopranos" star around town, though the pretty actress has remained aloof to their advances. Actor Chace Crawford was smitten with Sigler at a party last week." [P6]

• Ice-T and Coco hit the beach for some fun in the sun. Unfortunately, Coco forgot her bathing suit, and had to wear two strategically placed red strings instead.

• Meanwhile, it looks as though Ice-T hasn't seen the sunlight since the mid 1990's. Watch out, man—those rickets can be a bitch!

• If you insist on wearing an ugly, purple pleather dress, at try and find one that's not three sizes too small.

• In case you ever wondered what happens when Oompa-Loomps grow up.

• We have no idea whether or not Kim Kardashian's ass has been surgically enhanced. We just wish she'd stop waving it in our face.

• OJ Simpson cites racism as the reason for his being booted from an upscale Kentucky steakhouse. "Yeah, racism," sniffed the maitre d'. "That and double homicide."

• Because pee-wee violence suddenly becomes okay when it's set to the music of System of a Down.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler admits she "hated every moment" of pop stardom. Don't worry, Jamie. So did we.

• Chapter 2 from Carmen Electra's guide to being sexy: "Breast implants are an Ugly Girl's best friend."

• As Paris Hilton said herself, "I don't read things, I just sign them." Which explains the grammatically sound, eloquent plea she's just released—through her attorney, of course.

• Who is Anderson Cooper's mystery Julio? And what does this mean for immigration reporting on CNN? [Gawker]

• There's no better way to end a much too much too long week than to pay tribute to the good old days, when Colin Farrell wasn't the douchebag he is today. [Mollygood]

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler bought a downtown pad. Really, the joke is the lame ass Page Six headline, but we'll forgive them. We've been told that Friday is the day you can get anything on the Page and we guess they mean it. [Page Six]

• Is Sandra Bullock the next celeb with a baby on the way? Jesse James, remember, please, to check the car seat. [Socialite's Life]

• Chelsae Clinton shows her support for her vice daddy. [Daily Politics]