Milf Island was the fictional show-within-a-show on 30 Rock and quickly became one of the best running gags of the season. "20 MILFs, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules" — even Ben Silverman can't come up with this stuff.
Who knew that it would latch on to the cultural zeitgeist so quickly?
Now MILF Island is becoming a show IRL — only VH1 is calling it Camp Cougar, and letting reality show alumni Lisa Gastineau host.
Sure, some of these foxy older ladies might not be mamas, hence "Cougars" and not "MILFs." Still, the creepy implications for this show are unilateral: Imagine if they had this sort of reality competition for older men trying to pick up hot, nubile, women? (Beside The Pick-Up Artist, of course.)
Not to mention, most people don't even know who Lisa Gastineau is. And while that didn't stop any of the Real Housewives from getting gigs, we found some much more obvious choices to host this thing: CONTINUED »
TOO MUCH INFORMATION Sylvester Stallone on ex-GF Janice Dickinson: “The only thing I injected her with was my fist.”
Based on the first five Rocky movies, we'd be outraged. But Sly did show a softer side in Rocky Balboa that leads us to believe that his fists, normally resigned to fury, could be used for female pleasure. [Mollygood]
Yesterday, Janice Dickinson (a.k.a. the nip-tucked monstosity formerly known as "The World's First Supermodel") called frenemy Tyra Banks "fat" during a candid exchange with Al Roker on the Today show. Then, she panicked and immediately tried to run damage control by awkwardly rescinding her statements in an interview with former View co-host Star Jones.
But her slick maneuvering wasn't enough to fool the observant editor of Stereohyped, who called Dickinson out on her transparency and had this to say about her backpedaling behavior:
The greatest thing about publicity tours is that when you go on a talk show in the morning and call Tyra Banks fat during an interview with a black host who has had highly-publicized gastric bypass surgery, you can retract the statement the very same day during an interview with a different black host who has had highly-publicized gastric bypass surgery.
So true! Next up on Janice Dickinson's self-promotional publicity tour: A round-panel discussion with Mike Huckabee, Missy Elliot and Karl Lagerfeld.
Watching this video of Janice Dickinson calling Tyra Banks fat, we realized that maybe we were better off being a nerd in high school than being a queen bee. Hot girls are mean.
Well, some former models themselves go and some don’t. But they do share one thing: an abject refusal to give up their fame.
Janice Dickinson's newest model acquisition Rodrigo De Carli is hardly a model citizen. The poser's previous gig was reportedly that of public fornicator, including a memorable (for all the wrong reasons) stint in the gay porno flick grossly-titled Raw Footage, Tyler Riggs: Shot for Shot.
On the plus side, however, we're thinking Rod's (great porn name!) past employment experience may actually serve him well. After all, he's already used to having someone stand over him, barking orders at him in a loud, mannish voice while forcing him to perform degrading, menial tasks. Which means, all that's really changed is the identity of the sweaty, brutish person screaming "No, not like that!" and "Just shut up and fucking do it already!"
As we write this, we’re looking out the window and salivating over the picture perfect weather outside, currently being wasted on lazy unemployed persons and pretentious NYU students. And so, for your sanity and ours, we’ve decided to kick off a glorious new feature called “Comment of the Day,” to provide a transient glimmer of entertainment for all you working stiffs who would much rather be downing margaritas poolside on the Jersey Shore (while fending off advances from married, guidos named Tony) than slaving away in your cubicles.
Today’s “Comment of the Day” comes to us from PerezHilton.com, and it was sparked by these (uncensored) pictures of the self-proclaimed supermodel—and world-renowned alcoholic—Janice Dickinson.
If she's the worlds first supermodel…then why had no one even heard of her before reality tv? –Pinky
Congratulations, Pinky! We actually couldn't agree with you more.
Thanks to everyone for playing "Comment of the Day," and remember: there may only be one winner, but there are never any losers.
Except, you know, Janice's poor, innocent son and daughter. Say, this is almost as embarrassing as that time she admitted to having sex with over 1,000 men on The Howard Stern Show!
• Band-aid heriess Casey Johnson was "devastated" to find out she couldn't adopt the 2 1/2 year-old child she'd bonded with for three (whole!) weeks. Luckily, there are other fish in the sea!
• Turns out disgraced Tyco chief Dennis Kozlowski is one funny jailbird!
• A Mayan women criticizes Apocalypto for its historical inaccuraces; Gibson fires back by pleasantly suggesting that she "fuck off."
• Janice Dickinson returns to what she does bust: crazy, incoherent rants.
• When Kirk Douglas walks into a room, you'd better start clapping.
• Gwen Stefani to guest-mentor on American Idol; Sanjaya to immediately stake his claim on "I'm Just A Girl."
• What really caused Anna Nicole Smith's death? The tabloids say they've got the scoop forensic experts can only dream about!
• The British tabs remove all doubts about their questionable journalistic ethics by posting topless pics of Helen Mirren, Judi Dench taken before they were old and wrinkly.
• Norman Mailer continues his feud with NYT book critic Michiko Kakutani; Mailer still trying to figure out "who put the hare up her royal Japanese ass."
• There's a rumor going around that top CNN execs spent the bulk of their budget on Anderson Cooper and drinking margaritas on the beach. (Spoiler: It's true).
• Posh Spice embraces her lifelong love affair with Jossip and joins the unglamorous ranks of bloggerdom.
• The small–penised, midget-like Mick Jagger is clearly not on Janice Dickinson's good side.
• In a proud moment for Nicole Richie, boyfriend Joel Madden is captured on tape beating the crap out of Crazytown's lead singer. And you thought there was no such thing as an east coast/west coast punk rivalry.
• Courtney Love remains sober-ish.
• Someone tries, fails to take down Janice Dickinson.
• Very wealthy families with names you know as the people who run this town.
• Everybody Loves Raymond's Peter Boyle dead at 71.
• Angelina Jolie may not have a publicist, but she sure knows how to make sure she's taken care of.
• The girl Vince Vaughn banged is now upset everyone knows Vince Vaughn banged her.
• Janice Dickinson on why nobody is as super super modely as she. [Book Standard]
• Thank you Barbra Streisand, for proving that the Jews don't own Hollywood? Nobody who owned Hollywood would have to hit on the kid at the ticket counter to get free movie tickets. [Lowdown]
• It's finally confirmed: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are a twosome. But, neither of them are really A-List anymore, so … nobody freakin cares. [People]
• If only we could have been there for Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton's catfight in which nobody fought anyone. We would have ripped out clumps of our own hair and thrown it around just to purpetuate the rumor. [TMZ]
• St. Marks Church in the Bowery gets nailed by a huge oak tree. See, this is God saying The Da Vinci Code is baaad. [Curbed]
Against our better judgment, we headed to Tribeca Monday night for our own version of a film festival kickoff: the 2(x)ist launch party at the Steven Amadee Gallery. If it were to be like any other underwear launch we'd attended before, we knew there'd be: lots of bubbly, lots of models getting touched and felt by cotton, and a free pair of whatever they were celebrating that night. In the end, we were treated to just one out of three: there was no champagne and no undies for guests. But there were models, including that one guy from Manhunt.
Let's just say it wasn't so much an underwear launch (though apparently they did debut their new "SOY" collection) as an unveiling of a new ad campaign — and an opportunity for Janice Dickinson (the world's first supermodel, folks) to have her reality TV cameras (for Oxygen's The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, which premieres in June) trail her around. But when Janice starts making love to a mirror (horizontal, thankfully, so she couldn't snort anything off it) and nearly topples it over, you know the party is just getting started. Or is, you know, over.
So what's makes a shitty party even shittier? When the one tangible thing you're supposed to be celebrating is, by all accounts (and we spoke with nearly two people, who concurred), bete noire. The new ad campaign, designed by Robert Sturman, doesn't even deserve to see the walls of a phone booth in Chelsea.
In case the launch of Kevin Federline's website didn't gross you out enough, we now have a reality show that will make you puke up your lunch faster than you can say "Nicole Richie."
Hot off the heels of VH1's Surreal Life and America's Next Top Model, Janice Dickinson is getting a TV show. Luckily, this time it's on the Oxygen Network, so it won't be taking away from any of the shows we actually want to watch. The show, tentatively called The Janice Dickinson Project, will follow Janice around as she transforms from top model to top model agency owner.
It sounds ok. But you know what the American people would really love? A show on washed-up ex-celebrities who star in a show about washed-up ex-celebrities and then re-launch their washed-up careers.
• We told you back in September that French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld was handing over the reigns of the December/January issue to Kate Moss. That was before Kate's coke "incident," but that didn't sideline the guest editorship. Witness: The four-cover (sort of) aftermath. [FWD]
• Carl Icahn continues his all-or-nothing demands at Time Warner. This time he wants to split the media company into four autonomous divisions (cable TV service, Internet, publishing and movie/TV studios), thus giving him enough time to distract the board so he can complete his evil takeover plan. [FT]
• Hardline journalists will tell you a reporter's job is to observe, not participate in, the news. And then Hurricane Katrina happened. And so did Anderson Cooper. [AJR]
• Since Liz Spiers found herself a book deal and ditched Mediabistro, the glorified media hobnobbing site has been searching for an editorial director. It's since found one: a one Dorian Benkoil, whose experience at Fairchild's (nonexistent?) Internet division will surely win over visitors. [Gawker]
• When the B-list sleeps together, it increases their crabs count, not their their celebrity. [Cityrag]
• The woman receiving the world's first facial transplant had only thanks to offer after the operation. She's doing just fine and, if she continues to heal successfully, Chelsea Clinton will go ahead with hers. [NYT]
• Janice Dickinson might be drowning in bottles of Cristal, but what's her excuse for wearing the same bikini three days in a row? [PXThis]
• Spike Lee isn't taking any responsibility for movies like Barbershop and Beauty Shop. He just wants to open up the possibilities for black filmmakers — or anyone who wants to make a movie not about Jews. [Slate]
• Entertainment Tonight proudly breaks news that, well, everyone else broke weeks ago: Gwyneth Paltrow's preggers. [ET]
• The Live 8 folks are suing TrimSpa over Anna Nicole Smith's appearance there, saying she was drunk and "scantily clad." Our guess: when she was offering rockers "free samples", she wasn't referring to the weight loss med. [E!]
• NBC isn't thrilled that ex-Apprentice contestants Markus Garrison and Jennifer Wallen are talking on the record about producers' editing tricks, especially since they signed nondisclosure agreements. The cease-and-desist letters have been sent, threatening to collect on that little $5 million in damages clause. [Lowdown]
• If a boob is exposed on the red carpet and nobody photographs it, did it really happen? Keira Knightly almost joined the Tara Reid Club when her press walk turned explicit, but unfortunately her breasts were blocked from the flashing lenses. [Gatecrasher]
• Expect to see more of Laguna Beach's Lauren "L.C." Conrad, who's managed to turn her Teen Vogue internship into an excuse for MTV's cameras to follow her around some more. [WWD]
• It seemed like nobody wanted Kate Moss ever since her cocaine exposure, but now Burberry has reversed its decision to end its relationship with the model. First Rimmell, then Cavalli and now Burberry? Who knew drug use was such a career booster. [Vogue]
• First Paris Hilton starts dating Mary-Kate Olsen's trash and now sister Nicky is copying her sister by, uh, dating Paris' trash. [Radar]
• At last, we know what Lloyd Grove does in his spare time: read republican porno novels. The Lowdowner will be auctioning off his personally autographed copy of Scooter Libby's The Apprentice on eBay. [Lowdown]
• Quo nightclub owner Carlo Seneca has been stepping out on his wife Jessica with none other than "the world's first supermodel" Janice Dickinson. Carlo's excuse? He wanted a celeb attached to his new restaurant Pre-Post. Though, uh, Janice is already an investor. [Page Six]
• Congrats to Donald Trump Jr. and Vanessa Haydon, whose wedding on Saturday at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach indicates we'll be blessed with a whole new generation of pretend wealth. [NYDN]
• Eddie Guerrero won't see the inside of the ring ever again. The WWE wrestler was found dead in his hotel room in Minneapolis, though there's no sign that Sean Michaels put him in a sleeper hold. [AP]
• Don't look to see Condoleezza Rice in any "I Love New York" ads anytime soon. After catching a Wednesday night performance of Spamalot (where she was booed when the lights came up), the Secretary of Insensitivity went shopping at Ferragamo on Fifth Avenue. While browsing thousands of dollars in new shoes (replacement dominatrix boots?), a horrified fellow shopper shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are dying and homeless!" For being so forward, Condi rewarded her by having her security toss the shopper from the store — and then decided to cut her stay short to, uh, do her job.
• Nice to know Lil' Jon and R. Kelly have their egos intact, even when trapped in an elevator. When a guest at the Sagamore Hotel called a friend to let them know he was stuck, the duo snatched the phone and said, "Go ahead and tell them who you are stuck in the elevator with."
• Even though Michael Lohan is in the pokey for more sins than you can count, it's reassuring to know he still has a song in his heart. In response to daughter Lindsay's upcoming song about her strained relationship with her dad, Michael's come up with this ditty: "I loved and protected you, I was THERE through it all./I do admit, I did at times fall./But these things you know were due to "THEM"/The ones that want to have a piece of my gem!" Though it's Lindsay rocking the rocks, not daddy.
• Blame Bennifer 2.0! Or at least that's what Michael Vartan fans want you to do. After learning the former Jennifer Garner plaything was being written out of Alias, his "fans" started a slander campaign alleging, among other things, that nobody is allowed to mention Vartan's name on the set, everyone present must applaud Garner after each scene, no one can look at Garner going to or from her trailer and cast and crew aren't allowed to speak with her. Oh, and be polite to Ben Affleck, even though Vartan's friends can't stand him.
• What would Janice Dickinson do? Say attendees at her one woman show, not much. Besides starting half an hour late, she forgot her script and couldn't remember how her own stories went. When Bobby Trendy and Kimberly Stewart walked out, you know it's bad.
• So what do you do when your home confinement ends? Leave! Martha Stewart, along with daughter Alexis, was spotted yesterday morning, coffee cup in hand, getting in a caravan of SUVs headed to Westchester County Airport. No word on her destination, but we're betting she's not going to visit her former prison pals in West Virginia.
• Rapper Juvenile has mixed blessings during Katrina. The good news is that he was able to save his entire family, but the bad is that his home is totally destroyed. The rapper is urging that people keep the city in their prayers, and to donate to the Red Cross.
• Self-proclaimed "world's first supermodel" Janice Dickinson is taking her dirty mouth from the small screen to the mirrored walls of Equinox, throwing around insults and treating other sweaty bodies to a locker room meltdown. Janice, of course, says she gets along nicely with everyone there
• Fired Miami Herald columnist Jim DeFede, who illegally taped a phone call with counselman and suicide victim Arthur Teele, claims his former employer initially said it would defend him before pulling a 180 and ejecting him.
• It's not exactly a book deal, but Mischa Barton ex Brandon Davis landed a fictional starring role in Melissa de la Cruz's new book The Au Pairs Skinny-Dipping.
• News Corp. execs are trying to reassure MySpace users that its recent acquisition will in no way affect normal use of the site. Or, as president and co-founder Tom Anderson said, he's "not going to let things suck."
• The New York Times is looking at a reopened libel case from Steven Hatfill, who sued the paper in claiming columnists unjustly linked him to 2001's anthrax mailings.
• It's time to vote for the ladies of Conde Nast.
• American Idol casting begins August 18, so start packing your sleeping bags and find out when producers will be in your city.
Editorial Director
