• Bum sued for $1M by posh Upper East Side antiques dealer.

• Accused husband-beater Joumana Kidd not only terrorized her ex, Jason; she also 'scared the hell' out of his Nets teammates.

• Man to be arraigned on charges of second-degree murder for shooting another man on August 2, 1974 who died 31 years later at the age of 65.

• Governor Spitzer defends New Yorker's rights to overfeed ducks until their livers engorge and, finally, explode.

• Eating healthy donuts for breakfast has proven an effective means of obtaining healthy love-handles.

Last week was, as always, another dizzying frenzy of gossip and media-related news. We gave you our up-to-the-minute take, but we're far more interested in your reactions. Please continue to send us your comments, and every Monday we'll recap the burning issues and a sampling of your "colorful" responses in "Hot Topics."

Issue: The unbiased Christian Science Monitor taught us that 9/11 is to blame for our obsession with celebrity culture.
You said: "Here I was, just thinking my obsession with celebs/reality tv was due to horrible taste when, in fact, it was really the all the terrorists' fault. I feel so validated!"

Issue: U.S. Fashion Designers outlined their argument in favor of malnourished human clothes-hangers and their prominent rib-cages.
You said: "After looking at the fat cows that pass for American women these days, these normal-sized models are a breath of freash air!"

Issue: There are plenty of reasons to hate Condoleezza Rice besides the fact that she has yet to squeeze a baby out of her uterus.
You said: "I, personally, would much rather hate on Condi for the gap in between her two front teeth than for the fact that she has yet to reproduce."

Issue: Lindsay Lohan offered relationship advice to newly single Charlie's Angels Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore.
You said: "Not sure a long string of one-night stands really constitutes 'relationship expertise.'"

CONTINUED »

Remember back in January of 2001 when Jason Kidd pled guilty to slapping his wife, Joumana, over some sort of crazy, french fry-related dispute? Well, that pales in comparison to the allegations Kidd makes about Joumana in the divorce papers that hit the presses today.

Among other things, Kidd is accusing Joumana of having 'pulled a Naomi Campbell,' charging that she frequently punched, kicked and threw "household objects" at him over the course of nearly ten years of marriage. The muscular 6-foot-4, 210-pound all-star was, evidently, rendered defenseless against such tactics, and he asserts that Joumana's cruelty knew no bounds:

According to the court papers, Joumana's "extreme cruelty" toward Kidd has included trying to make him look bad in front of the children by talking trash about his career - not to mention tossing paint on his beloved golf clubs.

Paint? On his clubs? But wait, there's more!

Six days earlier, according to the papers, an irate Joumana sat on the hood of Kidd's car and refused to budge, preventing him from getting to practice.

So to review, Joumana turned ordinary household products (like dishsoap?) into deadly airborne missiles, defaced a "beloved" 9-iron, and forcibly prevented Kidd from showing up to practice on time.

Yep, we'd have slapped the bitch too, Jason. Now, continue having one of your best seasons ever and go find yourself avictims support group.