Here we go again. A regular feature film about pornography hired some authentic porn stars in the interest of realism and media outlets are now trying yet again to convince people that porn is penetrating the mainstream. This is more tiresome than an all day gang bang.
Like Boogie Nights before it, Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make a Porno features a couple porn actresses in bit parts, leading flagging newspaper The LA Times to run this headline: "Porn stars are the new crossover artists." Salacious! And also: misleading. Because people have been saying this for years despite the fact that very little evidence supports the claim.
• According to a celebrity assistant, Michelle Williams wanted full custody of li'l Matilda.
• Paris Hilton's travel clothes are worse than ours.
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are still candooling. It's easy to be in love without a career to worry about.
• Thoughts on the nominees for best animated short film, the Achilles' Heel of any Oscar pool entry.
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are back. Or back getting photographed together. You know, six of one, half dozen of the other.
• Jenna Jameson is still around, though we can't remember if she's back doing porn or back boycotting it.
• Not hot: Jenna Jameson's augmented breasts.
• Naomi Campbell dating Hugo Chavez? Well, they have terrorism in common.
• Britney Spears might marry bf Adnan Ghalib. Take if from Pam Anderson: third time's not the charm.
• Shocker: Lindsay Lohan has a new beau.
• OMG!!! HSM3 is happening 4sur!
• Free time + photoshop = pictures of celebrities on money.
From our mailbag:
When I walked in [to Hyde the other night] I saw Jenna Jameson with Aubrey from that one group Danity Kane. So I couldn't stop staring at Jenna Jameson the whole night except when Chris Crocker would get naked dancing to Britney (disgusting).* Jenna Jameson and Aubrey didnt leave each other's side the whole night. I thought it was really cute until they started making out…they were MACKING DOWN…Jenna doesn't surprise me, but does this mean Aubrey's a lesbian??
Hmm, probably not. But it just might mean she's given up her dream of getting impregnated by Diddy then happily abandoning her short-lived musical career in favor of coasting off the child support checks and parlaying her moderate notoriety into a three-deal cover spread with OK! magazine.
We do wish Aubrey the best of luck with her latest venture, however: Finally convincing the good folks over at WireImage to list her name alongside "actress" Jenna Jameson's.
*Agreed!
• Jenna Jameson may no longer be a D-cup but she'll always be D-list to us.
• Is it just us, or has the New York Times completely gone to shit?
• If Wallpaper is considered "yuppie porn," then we're officially celibate.
• In addition to stalking Tampa circuit judges, Bill O'Reilly also enjoys long showers, and ordering people to boycott Nas because he's black vulgar.
• Alliance for eating disorders responds to Apple campaign, "You can never be too thin or too powerful."
• If you thought the Merry Miller interview was awkward, wait until you see this.
• Apparently, Scarlett Johansson is way too classy to portray Jenna Jameson in a major motion picture. However, she's evidently not above blowing Benicio Del Toro in a hotel elevator. Go figure!
• Rebecca Gayheart manages to spend a night with her ex, Brett Ratner, without accidentally-on-purpose running him over with her car.
• Ever wondered what Victoria Beckham would look like if she were less "trophy wife/former Spice Girl" and more "Suzy Homemaker?"
• Kelly Osbourne gives them the ol' razzle dazzle.
• Fat-bottomed (British) girls they make the rappin' world go round.
• Lindsay Lohan is all up in Samantha Ronson's MySpace. The maybe-lezzie tells Ronson, "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." Congratulations, girls! We hear the newly ordained Tori Spelling is available to oversee the nuptials.
• Diddy leaves a $500 tip on a bottle of vodka. Not because he was objectifying the cocktail waitress so much as because he thought she was "really, really hot."
• Rumor has it Boomer Esiason will be inheriting Don Imus' early-morning radio slot. Insiders say he's definitely got the broadcasting chops, but they're just "not sure he has the jowls."
• Jenna Jameson gives one lucky little girl the opportunity to find happiness and a successful porn career by going under the knife and re-emerging with giant, fake boobies.
• Charlie Sheen is engaged! Bitter ex-wife Denise Richards does her best impression of someone who's "genuinely happy for the two of them."
• Suri Cruise turns one year old today! And yet, it seems like half a lifetime ago that her little Asian visage graced the cover of Vanity Fair.
• Barack Obama continues to vex Hillary by snagging the Hollywood elite vote. Meanwhile, Republicans console themselves by remembering they've already locked up that key "rest of the country" demographic.
• Jenna Jameson gives gossip bloggers a guilt complex by revealing that cancer (and not the infamous Victoria Beckham diet) was to blame for her emaciated frame.
• Lindsay Lohan's got a leaky faucet? Tell us something we ITAL-don't-ITAL know!
• Pop musicians waxing poetic is like a caucophony to your ears.
CONTINUED »
• Jenna Jameson's weight loss is upsetting fans. That's fans, plural.
• Paris Hilton's attorney goes on yet another attack defending his client's genital health and pill intake.
• Tom Cruise's first move to resurrect goodwill of the public: play a Nazi.
• Larry Birkhead continues milking Anna Nicole story, to the tune of $650k in legal bills.
• Kevin Connolly and Haylie Duff get close enough on a red carpet to fuel rumors of them being together.
• Adding to earlier reports of a budding romance, we spotted Josh Hartnett and Penelope Cruz entering cheesesteak factory Wogie's in the West Village with a third, unidentified guest.
Jenna Jameson is heart broken you might think she has an eating disorder or is snorting coke like she's in a Paris Hilton home video. Don't you know Jenna is going through a bitter divorce and is handling legal issues with her porn company? Us either, but she is — and so she kindly requests that you give her some privacy, your respect, and ignore the fact that her arms are just barely thicker than Mary-Kate's thighs.
Like a good skinny blonde in the spotlight, you'll find Jenna's plea on her MySpace blog.
CONTINUED »
• Britney Spears proudly brandishes the Star of David, which sends the message, "Yeah, I'm banging a Chosen Person."
• Producers of American Idol confirm that while Courtney Love is, indeed, a trainwreck, they're not looking to replace their resident wino.
• Paris Hilton tries to win back the adoration of the paparazzi by writing a 2-line apology for blowing past them in a drunken rage.
• Meanwhile, a video emerges of Nicole Richie licking a suspicious, powdery-looking substance while Paris screams, "duh, you're supposed to fucking snort it!"
• Victoria Beckham to design clothes for the "healthy, full-figured woman" she has no intention of ever becoming.
• Yep, just about everyone agrees that this small, polar bear/dog does a great Jenna Jameson impression.
That GQ magazine, always up for a good prank on the level of Maxim. The laddie mag with class spends part of its January issue testing the NBA's waters on just what level of celebrity it takes to score some free courtside tickets.
It had an easier time scoring front-row Utah Jazz tix for Jenna Jameson than getting Mischa Barton into the Dallas Mavericks game. "We're all sold out down there," said a Mavericks rep. But the Jazz told the fake Jameson: "I'm sure we can work something out … Two tickets or four?"
Author Malcolm Gladwell isn't getting Chicago Bulls seats until his phony rep sends "an E-mail with credit card information." But The Rock (below) can see the Nets for free, especially if he's willing to sing the national anthem.
But what about Rosie O'Donnell belting out "The Star-Spangled Banner"? "I'm a big Rosie fan," said a rep for the Phoenix Suns, "and we're excited about this, but for the date you mentioned, I have a 5-year-old trumpet player I'm flying in from Washington."
Because as any gay knows, a big instrument always trumps a bull dyke.
Even though photos of this week's New York magazine buried in the snowstorm are already full circle on Internet (thanks to those featured on the cover issue) we are taking special notice of our live-by guide this week. Yeah, yeah, because we're in it. Try, if you can, to move on to the other topics in the magazine though. We know we're awesome, but so are Jenna Jameson's new line of hooker wear, Susanne Bartsch, and the self-proclaimed circus freak in the Look Book.
From Valentine's day suggestions and blogging to bloody vampire movies and gay bars in Jackson Heights, New York magazine keeps you up to date on everything. Except for that Julliard show that ended February 3rd.
• As though we could tire of Bonnie Fuller! A bit of gossip on the gossip queen herself has Fuller pushing herself into the Columbia J-school speech. Obviously Amanda Millner-Fairbanks didn’t read the book … it sounds like Bonnie might hire the NYU kids instead. [Bonnie Talks!, Sara Cardace]
• The blogalore round-up includes us and 50 of our friends. And you thought we were just doing these NY Mag round-ups for fun? We have to buy our way into the public eye somehow. [Blogs to Riches, Clive Thompson]
• Jenna Jameson will be designing clothes for the inner Fake Paris Hilton in everyone. [How to Design Clothes like a Porn Star, Jada Yuan]
• The true definition of New York City? Gay boys, straight boys, closeted boys, reptilian model girls who’ve stripped down to tissue-thin panties … ambiguously gendered Asian hotties in hot pants, three less-than-sober gossip columnists, and David Amsden reporting from a party where girls are taking their clothes. [Happy Days, David Amsden]
• Adam Platt contradicts the hipness of blogging and Happy Valley by featuring uber stuffy Madison Avenue eatery Gilt. [Gilty Pleasure, Adam Platt]
• Sometimes we get so caught up in the Columbia/NYU bubble that we forget all about Juliard. We do, however, wish had known about this particular event before it was over. [ Not Bad for 100, Peter G. Davis]
Table of Contents [New York]
Editorial Director
