Last week's 30 Rock was the best, mainly because of all the Night Court references, but also Jennifer Aniston's cameo as Liz's "Crazy Putty" friend that falls for Alec Baldwin's Jack. You know, I often find myself going on first dates and ending up making some guy a white pizza and a pot roast because I just like them so much.
Anyway, Daily Intel cornered Alec Baldwin at Tisch yesterday and asked him what it was like to kiss Jennifer.
It was painful," Baldwin sighed. "I mean, every man who's had to make out with her in TV and movies — I don't know how they do it."
Huh. It's hard to tell when Alec is being sarcastic or not. He is a crazy guy, but apparently that doesn't necessarily translate into awesome, low-self-esteem fueled sex like it does for women.
CONTINUED »
I don't like writing about Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, or Angelina Jolie any more than the majority of you like reading about them. But you have to admit, it is an interesting phenomena that so long after the divorce we're still supposed to care what Jennifer thinks of Angelina, and vice-versa. How is that news still? In five years from now they will make a movie together where they share .3 seconds of screen time and it will still be considered the biggest thing ever. They will both win Academy Awards for not killing each other. Acting!
But in the meantime Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of Vogue, saying that what Angelina did approximately a billion years ago was "not cool."
Oh, Jennifer Aniston, no. No no no. Why, after four years, would you even think about opening your mouth to a national publication about the rumored feud between you and Angelina Jolie? This just reeks of desperation and lends entirely too much credibility to the naysayers who claim you're bitter and resentful.
All of this nonsense is the result of Jen "icily" telling the newest issue of Vogue: "What Angelina did was very uncool." This, in light of Angie's recent revelation that she and Jen's ex-husband, Brad Pitt, fell in love during the making of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, contrary to earlier reports that the romance started only after filming.
In early 2005, the nation was shocked by the official revelation, after months of tabloid covers suggesting it, that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were splitting up. Of course, the official announcement came long after the couple made the decision to break up — and, stupidly, after the Christmas holiday when nobody cares about the news — but just in time for beacon of journalism Us Weekly to sic reporters Mara Reinstein and Joey Bartolomeo on the couple and, in five days, spit out a 40,000-word (large type) print book. An amazing feat of (ripped off?) reporting and celebrity news spin, to be sure.
And now, People is ready to carry on the tradition of rush publishing. CONTINUED »
Celebrities love to feel needed, that's why they've chosen the profession they are in: so as many people as possible can care about their stupid kids names or DUIs. But there is perhaps nothing more grating than the sycophantic celeb that decides he or she is "going to make a difference" by lending their voice to a cause that didn't ask for them. Yes, some charities need a spokesperson, some famous face to put on their billboards and websites to garner interest in autism or Darfur. But America doesn't need to be told to vote by the same eight self-congratulatory mugs, over and over.
So Leonardo DiCaprio, your first mistake in creating a campaign video was allowing any old doofus that happened to be in Hollywood that day have a walk-on role (the cast of Friends hasn't gone anywhere since 1996). The second was using smug Hollywood circle-jerking and sarcasm as your method of getting the message across. The third was making it four minutes long.
If it wasn't for the presence of Sarah Silverman and Jonah "I've never fought a war on drugs! I've never done shit on drugs, besides play Halo 2" Hill, this ad would be entirely worthless and notable only for the fact that the reverse-psychology tactic was better the first time around as a Tracy Morgan bit on 30 Rock.
Plus, while the campaign is ostensibly just to get people voting, you only need to look at the cast line-up (will.i.am, Natalie Portman, Ashton and Demi) to see who this ad is really in the tank for. Not so subtle, DiCaprio.
If you need any more evidence of how condescending and insufferable this ad really is, here's a compilation of celebrities doing their best "get out the vote" faces. God help you if you're actually the type of person that wasn't considering registering to vote until Michelle Trachtenberg from Buffy and Gossip Girl goaded you into it:
CONTINUED »
John Mayer needs attention, bad. The human Troll Doll has always toed that thin line between amusingly self-aware and annoyingly histrionic, but people were willing to tolerate it because TMZ convinced them he was important. So he does those clever stunts to eff with the paparazzi, but he also thinks people care about who he dates/what he eats. Former, yes, latter, not so much. Now that he's broken things off with Jennifer Aniston, the paps are getting payback by alerting Mayer to the fact that he's no longer relevant: “Pictures of him and Jen were selling for $20,000 at one point. A picture of him alone gets $200 now. Chasing him from his apartment to Nobu is hardly worth it.” Ruh-oh. Someone might actually have to start making music again to earn his keep as the lap-dog to Hollywood's more famous women.
John Mayer is one of those celebrities who is more popular than he should be thanks to his media skills and relationship with the paparazzi. He demonstrated this theory over the weekend in NYC when he held an impromptu mini press conference on his breakup with Jennifer Aniston.
Someone needs to keep an eye on Jennifer Aniston, because rumor has it John Mayer dumped her and, if the media is to be believed, she is going to have a nervous breakdown due to the grief. Or something.
What's worse: Having your likeness used without consent to promote flaring panty hose in China? Or having your likeness used without consent to promote flaring panty hose in China with a bad Photoshop job?
Click for a larger shot: CONTINUED »
If a certain report out of the U.K. is to be believed, Sex and the City isn't the only big screen adaptation of a favorite television series to look forward to. Get ready for Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe to regroup, more than four years after the show wrapped, for Friends the movie. Supposedly they've seen the success of Sex and realized, "Hey, people might still like us!" (As if our TiVo full of every day's cache of syndicated episodes might suggest otherwise.) Also: They could command enormous paydays, especially if they get in on the production side! Plus: It's not like any of them are doing something worthwhile in front of a camera these days (read: Dirt). CONTINUED »
Hollywood press eager for a catfight made no effort to play down the fact that Brad Pitt's former and current gals were going to face off against each other on Oct. 24, when they both had movies opening. But while Angelina Jolie's Changeling is still set to open that weekend, Jennifer Aniston's He's Just Not That Into You has been pushed back — to February 6, 2009. Not only does the change affect the trades and gossip blogs yearning for a box office receipt throwdown, but it also make's this month uncomfortable Marie Claire situation — which had Aniston feuding with co-star Jennifer Connelly so much that she reportedly refused to share a cover with her — a moot point. Boo.
Below, some of the headlines carrying the original news of a Jolie-Aniston tete-a-tete. CONTINUED »
As you might have suspected would happen, Life & Style's report that Jennifer Aniston refused to shoot a Marie Claire cover with all four of her co-stars is being shot down by her publicist Stephen Huvane.
The tabloid's report fingered unexplained bad blood between Aniston and He’s Just not That Into You co-star Jennifer Conelly as the reason why Aniston refused to do the magazine cover if Connelly was on there too (though Aniston was supposedly fine with shooting alongside Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin, who are also in the film, but only if she was front and center).
Immediately, Huvane was playing defense, insisting the reports are "absolutely absurd" and that "there is no drama whatsoever."
Who to believe? CONTINUED »
Dating John Mayer has earned Jennifer Aniston the superlative "cougar," not the emotion "empathy" she was so used to after her split from Brad Pitt. And while Aniston hasn't exactly done anything to deserve the growing ire of American women who used to so identify with her, she hasn't done much to keep it. And that's a celebrity actor's job when they're not filming!
And then, when they're done filming, it's also the celebrity actor's job to keep quiet any reason America might have to hate her, so as not to re-open the scab. Too bad Aniston failed on even that front. CONTINUED »
"Janiston" is totes going to be the nickname for Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's relationship. [Us]
Growing its reputation for telling lies with pictures, OK! magazine bounces from last week's issue, where they used a five-year-old photo of Britney Spears to claim she lost weight, to this week's issue, where they crop out Eva Longoria from a photo to make readers believe there's something going on between Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer Aniston is starting her own production company, because she has nothing else to do besides be jealous of Brangelina (right, Star?). Jen’s no stranger to the business — she and ex Brad Pitt owned Plan B films when they were married. She shares the new company with former Plan B employee Kristin Hahn, and the two decided to name it Echo. Jen explained why, but we fell asleep during her explanation.
Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
foozle \FOO-zul\ verb: to manage or play awkwardly : bungle
Knowing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's insensitivity toward Jennifer Aniston, they probably foozled the news of Angelina's latest pregnancy, if they told her at all.
[Photos]
• Breaking: Paris Hilton reportedly told Nicole Richie, "I want a baby so that our babies can play together.’" And by "play together," we're assuming she means "share a coke dealer and periodically pretend-fight to stir up publicity for their trashy reality tv show." Allegedly.
• Oh no! "Geri Halliwell is being forced to leave her 18-month-old daughter Bluebell at home while she and the other Spice Girls prepare to kick off their world tour in Vancouver on Sunday." Either that or she's just, you know, voluntarily putting her own fledgling singing career ahead of her baby's needs.
• Did Jennifer Aniston go under the knife? And, if so, why? After all, doesn't she know she's nothing but hair?
• Meanwhile, Reese Witherspoon is officially the highest paid actress in Hollywood. And yet, somehow, not a single cent has gone into a chin reduction. Weird!
• Ladies and gentlemen, Marissa Cooper…like you've never seen her before.
• Beyonce's skimpy bikini offends the tender sensibilities of conservative Sin City residents.
• Authorities say the massive oil spill was likely caused by human error. When asked for comment, an annoyed Poseidon tersely replied, "Apology not accepted."
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck's newborn baby officially has a name! Next step: Toilet training the kid and teaching him how to memorize political jargon and mindless Republican propaganda.
"The November issue of W is out now, giving readers interested in other people's messy divorces the opportunity to put in their two cents. Or their $4.50, as it were. The magazine is publishing two separate covers — one with Jennifer Aniston and one featuring Angelina Jolie. It's about as tacky as a fashion mag can get." Or, for that matter, any mag. [FishbhowlLA]
Editorial Director
