Ever wondered what Jerry Seinfeld thinks about on a normal, day-to-day basis? Well, you're in luck. The ordinarily reclusive funnyman has generously agreed to let us eavesdrop on his inner commentary, in a new feature we're calling "What Were They Thinking?!" Read on to find out what's on Jerry's mind as he takes in an L.A. Dodgers game.
Kind of a hot day for baseball, don't you think? You'd think some of these guys would have put on deodorant for the occasion. I mean, seriously, what's the deal with Dodgers games, anyway? Bunch of overweight guys running around with team jerseys and bats.
Then, of course, there's the players.
• Jerry Seinfeld creates some serious buzz for his upcoming new children's flick.
• Beyonce has no interest in going anywhere near the Maxim Hot 100 party.
• Possibly out of fear of being blinded by Lindsay Lohan's dress.
• Seeing The O.C.'s Adam Brody with a ratty mustache reminds us that it's time for our residual crush on Seth Cohen to end.
• It's battle of the accents on the season finale of America's Next Top Model. But ultimately, the Russian loses her skirt and, ultimately, the competition to the slightly constipated-looking Skeletor Jaslene.
• Look, it's a giant (uncircumcised) penis pig!
• Is Politico too right-wing? Right-wing conservatives say "No!"
The thing about eating the Black and White cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate And yet somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie all our problems would be solved.
–Jerry Seinfeld
Us, stop talking about the Oscars? We wish it were that easy. But alas, Jerry Seinfeld's on-stage comments are keeping the naked gold man's name in the headlines. If you were fortunate enough to miss the 4-hour broadcast, you'll have no idea what we're talking about, so let's bring you up to speed: Seinfeld introduced the Best Documentary award, but his comments focused on little more than a documentary made about himself, and then calling all five of the nominated movies "incredibly depressing."
Which left documentary filmmakers … pissed.
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