Actress Jessica Biel, who is often photographed by the paparazzi looking very unhappy next to professional jerk Justin Timberlake, blogged her first bloggy blog item on The MySpace yesterday! She's down in South Carolina filming the movie Nailed with Jake Gyllenhaal and Tracy Morgan, and she's only got a few minutes of rest while sitting in her trailer, probably drinking SmartWater, because that's what celebrities like her do, so she's punching out her very first item where she reports she is "thrilled to join the tech revolution!" And we are thrilled to welcome her! But for being such a novice blogger, Ms. Biel has already learned rule No. 1 of blogging: self-promotion. This medium is barely worth the effort if you aren't going to rush from the gate and start plug-plug-plugging away at your own projects. CONTINUED »
RUMOR OF THE DAY Kate Hudson is carrying Justin Timberlake's Sexy Baby. “What about Jessica Biel?” “Was Us Weekly hiding this from me?” you might ask. Well it’s all gossip, but allegedly they’ve been shagging for a year. It's been on the L because Kate Hudson doesn’t want to be responsible for any more awkward situations and or become the next Cameron Diaz. This can end in one of two ways: Kate Hudson will lose weight or she will have the most awkward People magazine spread ever. [Hollyscoop]
Turns out Justin Timberlake and Victoria Beckham have a little something in common (other than rampant narcissism and revolving door hairstyles) namely, an irrepressible need for Pepto Bismol.
And while Posh's gassy posterior has already been immortalized in a charming children's storybook, Timberlake's struggle with the bloat was only recently revealed when his overseas rider (demanding anti-gas tablets) was "accidentally" leaked to the press.
The embarrassing excerpt, after the jump.
• During the Swedish leg of his world tour, Justin Timberlake found time to hump Jessica Biel, spit on his fans, and scream, "You want me to juggle also?" at a little girl who shyly asked to take his picture.
• Kate Moss' boots were made for walking. Too bad the same can't be said about her unsightly old-lady legs.
• Matt Lauer interviews Pamela Anderson's crotch.
• Cameron Diaz wants to swap careers with Jack Black while somehow maintaining her body type.
• Hulk Hogan dabbled in the art of fake-wrestling, so it's only natural that his daughter would dabble in the art of fake breast implants.
As we write this, we’re looking out the window and salivating over the picture perfect weather outside, currently being wasted on lazy, unemployed persons and pretentious NYU students. And so, for your sanity and ours, we’ve decided to kick off a glorious new feature called “Comment of the Day,” to provide a transient glimmer of entertainment for all you working stiffs who would much rather be downing margaritas poolside on the Jersey Shore (while fending off advances from married, guidos named Tony) than slaving away in your cubicles.
Today’s “Comment of the Day” comes to us from PopSugar, and it pertains to the new (or at least newly "official") coupling of Justin Timberlake and GQ hottie, Jessica Biel.
So what do people think of the two blissfully scowling lovebirds? Are they on "Team J-Squared" or nostalgic for the days of Cam-berlake? Also, what's up with Jess raiding your grandma's closet?
Thoughts, reflections and the COTD, after the jump.
At first I felt really embarrassed about it. You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, ‘Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that. But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: ‘You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, ‘That’s what Granny used to look like.’
–Jessica Biel, in the current issue of GQ magazine
• Cameron Diaz isn't going to kill Jessica Biel at the MTV Movie Awards. She's just going to kick her (gigantic!) ass.
• Pamela Anderson finally opens up to her kiddies about being a dirty, dirty porn star. Next step: explaining what those giant fun-bags are really made of!
• Mischa Barton was hospitalized over the weekend. Experts say it was likely some combination of malnutrition, tequila, antibiotics and the "I'm So Excited!" episode of Saved By The Bell.
• America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene Gonzalez cops to not having "a good head" on her shoulders, thereby confirming what we already knew. Then, she attributes it all to having been in an abusive relationship and makes us feel like an ass.
• Justin Timberlake is apparently "in love" with Jessica Biel. Probably because she has an inordinately large ass heart.
• Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich and his wife give birth to future douche, Bryce Thadeus Ulrich-Nielsen.
• A year ago in gossip, everything was…exactly the same.
• Lindsay Lohan has announced plans to start working on new urban crap pop album.
• Model Petra Nemcova has gone from surviving a tsunami to shagging singer James Blunt and accidentally exposing her left nipple.
Did you know there's more to criticize about The View than the fact that it's a sweatshop for circular arguments? There is! Like how they treat women's magazines as "war criminals." And Elle EIC Roberta Meyers isn't going to stand for it. CONTINUED »
Jessica Biel's topless photos in Gear were her way of saying, "Get me the F off 7th Heaven." Then Gear folded.
Now a more regular magazine covergirl, Biel is showing up on the cover of this month's Elle, where she gossips about another cover she was on: Esquire's. That mag named her the "Sexiest Woman Alive," but it wasn't the superlative success she hoped for. "I thought the Esquire cover was going to be really positive for my career," she says. "But it wasn’t, really. [One director told me] ‘I’m not looking for the sexiest woman; I’m looking for the girl next door.’"
Clearly, that director was not I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry director Dennis Dugan.
• In utterly shocking news, insiders reveal things aren't going so well on the set of Victoria Beckham's new reality show. More specifically, Posh is "boring," "full of herself" and "coming off as a grade-A bitch."
• Hillary Clinton tries to overhaul her aging lesbian-inspired wardrobe by rocking a canary yellow pantsuit.
• It's almost as though no one cares about K-Fed's "Look, I'm a player!" hands or Paris Hilton's lazy-eyed "come hither" stare anymore.
• Scarlett Johansson takes a tumble after she tries, fails, to run with a coat over her head.
• Jessica Biel's enormous booty great personality turns heads at a recent Mercedes-Benz polo tourney.
• Ali Larter is our new "Hero."
Justin Timberlake is slightly our new hero. Don't believe us? Allow us a moment or two to explain why.
First of all, Justin scores points for dating Britney Spears during her "hot phase," (translation: before she embraced her white-trash side, but after she "secretly" broke her vows of chastity).
Which means he enjoyed tons of not-fat nookie that didn't culminate in 2 unexpected (and often-dropped) children. Or an alleged sex tape.
Not long after dumping Brit, Justin likewise ditched the cheesy boy-banders, launched a phenomenally successful solo career, cashed in on the older woman/younger guy trend by landing Cameron "Mrs. Robinson" Diaz, and even managed to bring the funny back to SNL with the ever-catchy "Dick in a Box."
And all this while smoking copious amounts of pot.
Then, Justin broke up with Cam (who was starting to get kinda clingy and have crazy, shitshow jealousy tantrums anyway), and embraced the swinging bachelor life, following up a one-week sexathon with Jessica "Baby Got Back" Biel by scoring a post-Super Bowl touchdown with Scarlett "Don't Eat In Front Of Me" Johansson.
Which means that while you were getting older, balder and more wrinkly these past couple of birthdays, Justin has become hotter, richer, and more desirable than ever before. So, well played, Mr. Timberlake, well played. Because if there's one thing you and Kevin "It's All About The Alimony" Federline can agree on, it's that saying "Bye, Bye, Bye" to Britney was the shrewdest move you ever made.
• Brandy hires a "crisis management specialist" to help her deal with all the negative publicity that comes with killing somebody and pretending everything is fine.
• According to Gatecrasher, a certain anonymous, morbidly obese oil heir has a bit of a Napoleon complex.
• The Game denies impersonating a police offer and ordering a livery cab driver to run a red ligh; admits being too cheap to simply "slip the guy a $100."
• Sienna Miller's rep denies reports that the Factory Girl sex scenes (with Hayden Christensen) weren't simulated, eliciting snickers by explaining "she's just a really good actress." Seriously.
• Jessica Biel isn't some cheap $10 hooker; she rents out at a nightly rate of $1950.
• Kristin Davis (Charlotte, on Sex and the City) is unnervingly emotional about horses. Related: Real-life Harry Potter wishes he'd trademarked the whole humans-with-a-crazy-horse-fetish thing.
• Liz Hurley forgets to invite BFF (and ex-boyfriend) Hugh Grant to her wedding for reasons that have nothing to do with his once cheating on her with a "total prostitute."
• Hugh Hefner still has the magic touch…which he demonstrates by pulling out all the graphics design stops for Mariah Carey's suspiciously flattering Playboy spread.
• A week after Anne Heche dumped her hubby for co-star James Tupper, Page Six confirms that the two actors have "chemistry," and charmingly reminds us of Heche's "Ellen DeGeneres Phase."
• Jessica Biel proves she's extremely photogenic in her upcoming In Style shoot; Justin Timberlake fans announce they hate her "even more."
• Air America Radio is sold to SLG Radio LLC; Meanwhile, funnyman Al Franken announced he's quitting after hearing the phrase "face for radio" one too many times.
• Looks like Clay Aiken has been Manhunting again, despite his not being even a teensy weensiest bit homosexual.
• Lance Bass immediately updates his MySpace profile to reflect his new single status. Related; Lance Bass becomes the first human to time travel back to the 6th grade.
• OMG, OMG, Eva Longoria and fiance Tony Parker photographed grabbing a bite out to eat…TOGETHER. In actually shocking news, Longoria turns out to be "mediocre looking" without her usual 17 layers of makeup.
With all the weird rumors abounding about new couples, we thought we'd update you on the latest.
In case you didn't already know, Jessica Biel and Derek Jeter are officially over, meaning their days of steaming up the camera with hot, sexy vacay pictures are done and done.
This new, albeit not particularly surprising development, left Jess free to purchase all the vibrating undies that she wants, and to strut her stuff at the Golden Globes (and cause a Cameron Diaz shit-show meltdown over Justin Timberlake), while giving Jeter free reign to cruise for his next "hot and heavy" love affair.
But here's what you probably didn't know.
Rumors are flying that, in addition to flirting with JT, Jessica Biel was being ogled, and possibly even nibbled on by Diddy, who couldn't seem to get enough of her "golden globes." And, crazier still, we're hearing that Jeter was getting all down and dirty-like with Bring It On hottie, Gabrielle Union, dry-humping her on the dance-floor to that classic, romantic slow song, "Put It In Your Mouth."
We're certainly not ones to jump to conclusions, but—at the very least—this picture of Diddy looking down Jessica Biel's dress speaks volumes about his devotion to longtime girlfriend (and mother of his new twins), Kim Porter. Of course, it remains unclear how Sienna Miller, Diddy's newest party-hopping pal, fits into all of this, but we're guessing Kim isn't exactly thrilled about that either.
Not yet sure whether Diddy will be able to channel all this drama into a crappy, unoriginal compilation album, but we are loving the fact that he supposedly edged out the Yankees star, Derek Jeter, in a footrace towards second base.
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• Jessica Biel replaces boyfriend Derek Jeter with a battery-operated pair underpants; Cameron Diaz jumps for joy.
• Bjork and Timbaland to make loud, strange music together:
• Playing video games makes you less fat and lazy? Consider our gym membership canceled!!
• Marilyn Manson proves he's an "even bigger freakshow' than previously imagined by fighting to deny ex Dita Von Deese a single cent of his giant, Goth empire.
• The Departed to be banned in China for including a minor plot line regarding a Chinese crime ring.
• When she's not busy jabbering on about her annoying, yappy dogs, Cindy Adams is reading (and plagiarizing from) Radar.
Before we go any further today, we just had to take a minute and comment on the bizarre, Cameron Diaz/Jessica Biel post-Golden Globes cat-fight.
To recap, Cam apparently stalked her very recent ex, Justin Timberlake, from one party to the next, until she finally "caught" him innocently chatting up Ms. Biel on the rooftop of the Beverly Hilton hotel. At this point, an understandably irate Diaz apparently attempted to scratch out the adulteress' (Biel's) eyes. As Page Six reports:
CAMERON Diaz is not over Justin Timberlake just yet, and things got heated when she saw her ex chatting up Jessica Biel in L.A. after the Golden Globes. Sources say the temperamental star "blew up" at Biel after she saw Timberlake flirting with her. Diaz followed Timberlake to the In Style party at the Hilton Oasis, where "they had an awkward conversation." The "Charlie's Angels" star then trailed Timberlake to the Beverly Hilton rooftop for the Universal party, where she found him chatting up Biel - and screamed at the "Illusionist" star. "If that's how she wants to get him back, it won't work," said our insider. "She's desperate." Reps for Diaz did not return our call.
All of which makes perfect sense, except for three things:
1) How in the world did Cammie miss those oh-so-scandalous pics of hot new couple, Derek Jeter and Jessica Biel, "steaming up the camera" on vacay?
2) What would new bestie and relationship guru Lindsay Lohan have to say about this public display of emotional fireworks?
3) Was this really about Jessica Biel moving in on her man? Or was it really just pent-up frustration from being Worst-Dressed at the Golden Globes (next to Beyonce's hooker/Studio 54-inspired gown and That Thing On Vanessa Williams' Head)?
Either way, Cameron Diaz has lost her fashion sense (and possibly her mind), and is hoping to recover her wits by by doing what any sane and ridiculously wealthy person in her position would do: move back in with Mom and Dad.
Captions don't lie, people. Those two celebrities standing nearly 5 feet apart are having the time of their lives together.
• Avril Lavigne becomes the young (not virgin) bride of Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley. See, dreams of finding your perfect s8ter boy really can come true. [People]
• You can't take Cate Blanchett's grannie panties away from her. [The Sun]
• What Lindsay Lohan wants, Lindsay Lohan gets. And she didn't even have to blow anyone for this "huge friggin' speaker system." [The Awful Truth]
• Jessica Biel won't just give a little girl who lost her leg any money — but she will date someone in order to make the operation happen. [AP]
• Paris Hilton still thinks Nicole Richie is gross. But is being skinny really more disgusting than having herpes? Tough call. [The Scoop]
• Could Joe Simpson please not be quite so involved in his daughter's love life? It's getting a little uncomfortable. [Gatecrasher]
After teasing (annoying?) readers with cropped snaps of its "Sexiest Woman Alive," Esquire magazine finally reveals all with next month's issue that hits newsstands next week.
So who is it? The unremarkable Jessica Biel, who's 7th Heaven start yielded such proud moments as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Blade: Trinity.
But is Jessica really the sexiest woman alive, or just a way for Esquire to sell magazines? (Don't answer that, stupid.)
"She's been an underground icon to the generation of men who are coming of age now," says Esquire editor in chief David Granger. "She's been this unexpected but iconic figure for a long time. She's talented and about to burst onto the scene. She's fantastic."
So, just to clarify, Ms. Biel is the sexiest "underground icon to the generation of men who are coming of age now," not sexiest woman alive. Angelina Jolie might still hold that title.
Editorial Director
