Jessica Simpson is relevant again, y'all, which is such a relief because, honestly, when was the last time you stopped and thought about how she was doing? Like she was really going to make sports fans' wishes come true and disappear forever after being blamed for ruining football? No.
She is a survivor, she is a Southern belle dammit, and if you don't believe it take a look at her new ad campaign (for a beer brand she owns a 15 percent stake in).
Oh good, Jess. Now you can join the ranks of "classy celebrity alcohol endorsers," right next to Danny DeVito's Limoncello, and most rap stars.
For its fourth season of Hard Knocks, HBO insists it won't give in to the tabloidization of everything in life, and that its sports show about a professional football team during training camp — this season it's the the Dallas Cowboys — won't make much of, say, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson's relationship. Instead, insists NFL Films president Steve Sabol, "Ninety-five percent of our efforts will be focused on what happens on the field and in the locker room." And don't think that means frontal shots of Terrell Owens.
So why pick a team like the Cowboys, which is rife with gossip page nuances — Romo-Simpson, Vegas stripper shooting personality Adam "Pacman" Jones, larger than life owner Jerry Jones — and not deliver the gossip-y footage? Because, says Sabol, "there is good drama with these characters, and there are arresting personalities from the administration down to the field."
Alas, so many missed opportunities! No chance to see Jones try and negotiate his way back into the NFL. No chance to see Jones try to buy Cowboys.com. And no chance to see Simpson lead Romo around by the hand before throwing him in the back of a SUV and darting off to their separate hotel — to stay out of the team's spotlight — for an evening of tabloid speculation.
Know who's getting in the way of Jessica Simpson remaking herself as a country star? Elle. You might think the magazine's styling her in tight jeans, a plaid shirt, and a cowboy belt buckle — all, likely, insisted upon by daddy Joe — is part of her transformation away from dumb blonde "pop star." And it tried to be. But the Photoshop mess is getting in the way. Though her head may be properly placed on her body — Elle recently had this problem with Mariah Carey — there is something plainly wrong with the bend of her hips and the positioning of her legs, not to mention the torso from the miniatures shop. Ms. Simpson's blonde locks aren't the only artificial things on this magazine.
Without Barack Obama, the tabloids basically have nothing to go on these days. Britney Spears is cleaning up her act. Nicole Richie sometimes parties late, but mostly stays hidden with her mommyhood. And there's the scraps: Mary-Kate Olsen heading to rehab? Oooh, breaking! Which is why, just sometimes, the tabloids have to rely on their own reporters to drum up scandal.
Like the way Us Weekly did with Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. CONTINUED »
Jessica Simpson’s venture into the world of country music has been successful thus far — if you believe the things you read in Us Weekly or hear on the radio. So just how successful is she? Well, just look at this “packed house” (yes, the interviewers actually called it that) of fans who came to see Jess in person. It’s amazing that no one was injured during the riot.
Video of the craziness, complete with Jess’s annoying baby voice and charming stories, after the jump.
Ever the media-savvy businessman, Joe Simpson has publicly responded to the same rumors we hear about him every week (he’s a creepy control-freak), and his defense isn’t helping. “The media says that I try to plan everything,” Joe says. “If I had half of the power they give me…” Um, then what? Do we want to know?
So apparently the Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo relationship is really back in action, but only on Romo’s terms. According to a friend, for some bizarre reason, Tony thinks Papa Joe is too involved in the relationship. That really came out of nowhere.
Why would Joe Simpson want daughter Jessica's ex-boyfriend Tony Romo at Ashlee's wedding? "To come to show support for the wedding," as one Us Weekly source says? [Us] Or because papa Joe knows that the more celebrities at Ashlee's wedding, the more exposure he can get, and the more he can possibly charge. We've already reported he sold the wedding pics to People for an estimated $1.3 million, but with Romo there, the gossip currency only grows. And let's just hope Joe didn't promise People that Tony would be there.
So yeah, Tony, go show your "support" for "the wedding," and not Joe's bank balance.
RUDE Kent Brownridge's Maxim knows how to keep his magazine in the headlines: By naming only one Olsen twin to its Hot 100 list, and putting Ashlee Simpson thirty-five spots ahead of sis Jessica. [P6]
Ken Paves plays puppet master at a "Hairdo Extensions Photo Shoot," while Jessica Simpson exhibits the depths of her personality.
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Cosmopolitan editor Kate White (or her wrangling minions) deserves an enormous amount of credit for last night bringing together John Mayer, Dane Cook, and Tony Romo — two former and one current love interest of Jessica Simpson. For its "Fun Fearless Male of the Year" awards (which Mayer won), Cosmo smartly scooped up all three celebs for some red carpet mingling, though White denies Simpson had anything to do with the choices.
Uh huh: Last year, Simpson's ex-husband Nick Lachey took home the award.
The blond starlet seems to be the toast of the Eastern European nation. Her latest film, Blonde Ambition, hit No. 1 in Ukraine, grossing $253,008 for the weekend of Feb. 14-17, Box Office Mojo reports.
It's a huge reversal of fortune for the film, which bombed back home. In December, Blonde Ambition had a run in eight Texas theaters, grossing just $1,771 in its opening weekend.
How to explain the comedy's success abroad? One word: escapism.
"The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies," Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, tells PEOPLE. "When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson's, that's all that's needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men.
-Brian Orloff, "Jessica Simpson Rules the Box Office – in Ukraine," People.com
• OMG! Harry Potter is hitting it with Hermione. If J.K. Rowling were dead, she'd be rolling over in her grave. Since she's alive, she's probably pleased with any extra DVD sales that result from the romance.
• Gene Simmons has a sex tape. We're only surprised this didn't surface earlier.
• Jessica Simpson doesn't want to become the next Kirstie Alley, and is consequently being sued for $10 million.
• Speaking of Simpsons, Joe Simpson wants Tony Romo to become the next Nick Lachey. Not a good call, man.
• Britney Spears needs the anti-depressants that help people remember to wear underwear.
• Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon growing fame makes us feel old.
COUPLES WE ARE NOT JEALOUS OF Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo had what passes for Italian in Dallas for Valentine's Day. According to an insider, "They sat in a corner booth to try and get some privacy." Yeah, these two seem so desperate for privacy. Everything about their date, from the champagne to the chocolate mousse, is about as a trite as their relationship. [People]
• According to a celebrity assistant, Michelle Williams wanted full custody of li'l Matilda.
• Paris Hilton's travel clothes are worse than ours.
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are still candooling. It's easy to be in love without a career to worry about.
• Thoughts on the nominees for best animated short film, the Achilles' Heel of any Oscar pool entry.
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are back. Or back getting photographed together. You know, six of one, half dozen of the other.
• Jenna Jameson is still around, though we can't remember if she's back doing porn or back boycotting it.
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