Gangly-toothed singer and L'Oreal shiller Jewel married rodeo star Ty Murray a week ago today. You read about it the day after, through an official statement to People by her rep, since Jewel managed to pull things off in secret, even though she held it at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, which is equally as luxurious as it is a hot bed of gossip-y service staff known to tip off the paparazzi for cash rewards. And the reason Jewel's nuptials — they eloped — are making news today? Because she released a photo from the ceremony. It's pretty, professional, and exactly what she could've been paid at least a few hundred grand for. Or maybe that's exactly what happened, and People is revealing the picture now.

• Kate Hudson has either gained weight or gained a fetus. Knowing all the recent pregnancy announcements in Hollywood, we hope it's weight. Knowing Hollywood, it's probably a fetus.

• Jewel is still alive and still attractive in a Alaskan way.

• Speaking of which, Sophia Loren is alive and still attractive in a cougar way.

• David Beckham visits Brazil, gets a new tattoo and supports his wife. And for the only thing you care about: He's still hot.

• As if there could ever be too much, here's more on Britney Spears being crazy.

• How gay is Top Gun? Pretty fucking gay.

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• Rapper Cassidy was convicted of involuntary manslaughter yesterday, upping his street cred, and guaranteed to inspire a cell block album. [Billboard]

• Let the self-promotion continue! Cam'ron is holding a press conference at the Tribeca Grand to discuss his (one-sided) "feud" with Jay-Z. [Page Six]

• Jewel wraps-up another album. We really, really hope it's more early-Jewel-esque. We liked being 14. 19, not so much. [Live Daily]

• The New York Times shocks us with their discovery of Decemberists front man and lit-rocker extraordinaire Colin Meloy. [NYT]

• Wait, MTV's Made converts a young woman into a rock star and then leaves her out to dry after three weeks? Get out. [The Phoenix]