To be fair, if Heather Locklear was under the influence, it doesn't really matter that the former Us Weekly staffer and current paparazzo Jill Ishkanian profited — to the tune of $27,000 $27,500 (Ishkanian writes in to correct), thanks to TMZ's photo purchase — from the actress' recklessness. Actually, shouldn't we reward people who call the police on drunk drivers? So, good job Jill! It's not blood money — it's good samaritan money. [Earlier]

Mortals woke up Sunday morning to find out Heather Locklear was arrested on suspicion of driving while under the influence, after a "motorist" called 911 to alert authorities to the actress' "erratic" driving. Cops showed up and, low and behold, so did the paparazzi.

That's because the photogs were dialed immediately after the 911 call, by the same person: a one Jill Ishkanian, TMZ reported (though the post seems to have been removed had its URL changed).

You remember Ishkanian as the former Us Weekly staffer who left to start paparazzi agency Sunset Photo & News, only to become the center of a FBI investigation that, depending on which account you believe, alleged Ishkanian was hacking into Us' computers or that Us was trying to sabotage its ex-staffer. Ishkanian, meanwhile, is no longer with Sunset, thanks to a bizarre scenario where her now-former business partner stands accused of fleecing the agency.

And now, here she is, at the center of Locklear's DUI arrest. So how did the industry veteran just happen to be driving near the actress one night this week?

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Havoc is wreaking at Jill Ishkanian's celebrity empire. The former Us Weekly editor – who's currently suing her old bosses in an unrelated matter – is now battling just-fired staffers who are accused of looting the company of cash, cameras, and cars.

Ishkanian operates the celebrity-focused website CelebrityBabylon.com as well as paparazzi agency Sunset Photo & News, which she co-founded with Kitson store owner Fraser Ross. But now one of her other business partners, Stephen Lenehan, along with former staffer Kelly Stagg, stand accused of stealing more than $90,000 in camera equipment, $83,000 in unauthorized credit line cheques, holding on to the keys of three company vehicles, and a grand total of $170,000 in allegedly stolen equipment.

Stagg (pictured here with Lenehan), it's alleged, began directing clients to submit payment cheques to addresses and bank accounts not belonging to Sunset Photo, then depositing them into her or Lenehan's accounts.

(It should be noted that these two are, in fact, married; Lenehan is a gay Brit who wanted to stay in the country. You do the math.)

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Amy Sultan – senior reporter deputy news editor at Us Weekly and new-ish wife to Scott Cosman (pictured here), operator of the tabloid's "in-house" paparazzi agency Flynet – has left the magazine, we're hearing.

She departed sometime this week, or as it's heretofore to be known, Post-Lawsuit.

Sultan, as you'll recall, was at the center of controversy over allegations that Us Weekly-lawsuit-filer Jill Ishkanian was hacking into Us Weekly's email and computer systems, since it was Sultan's username and password that were regularly abused, granting access to an untold number interested outsiders and celebrities.

And just so your dot-connecting comes full circle, Ishkanian-target and Us online chief Ken Baker was a guest at Sultan's wedding to Cosmon. And it was Cosmon's Flynet who snapped the pics of Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest kissing — an allegedly staged setup orchestrated by Seacrest and BFF Ken Baker.

Now, what's that sound we're hearing? Oh, right: chips falling.

When asked for comment about Jill Ishkanian's allegations against him and the magazine, Ken Baker responded: "Thanks for writing, but I am on vacation. I will get back to you." To be fair, it was an auto-responder.

In light of Jill Ishkanian's accusations against Us Weekly – that staffers were ordered to dig through Ben Affleck's trash; that the magazine refused to credit her with breaking big stories like Paris Hilton's sex tape – are a spat of allegations against current online chief Ken Baker.

From ogling freelancers and sending illicit text messages to using his position for personal gain and getting his nanny gigs at the tabloid, Baker's rep is certainly getting shat on in the lawsuit. Which might explain why we're told to expect him to "play a lesser role at Us in the very near future."

We got our hands on the gritty details of Jill Ishkanian's $55 million lawsuit against Us Weekly and her old bosses, and out of the goodness of our heart we wanted to share with you the most interesting details.

And by "most interesting" we mean "pretty much the entire thing," 'cause it's hilarious.

And by "hilarious," we mean "so much fun as a spectator, not as much fun as a defendant."

We've stacked the meaty parts after the jump. And fret not: We've bolded the most worthwhile legalese.

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Jann Wenner, Janice Min, Ken Baker, and Wenner Media proper are being hit with a $55 million lawsuit today filed by former Us Weekly staffer Jill Ishkanian, we've learned.

In court papers being filed now-ish, Ishkanian – who left the magazine and went on to form the paparazzi agency Sunset Photo and News – alleges her former bosses went on the attack after her departure, trying to sully her reputation. Though it should have been expected: The suit alleges Janice and Ken threatened to ruin her if she ever tried to leave the magazine or encourage anyone else to do so.

Among the charges Ishkanian is claiming: "INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS; NEGLIGENT TRAINING AND RETENTION; BREACH OF CONTRACT; BREACH OF THE COVENANT OF GOOD FAITH AND FAIR DEALING; SLANDER AND SLANDER PER SE; LIBEL AND LIBEL PER SE; INTENTIONAL INTERFERENCE WITH PROSPECTIVE ECONOMIC ADVANTAGE; CIVIL CONSPIRACY."

As you'll recall, after Ishkanian's departure, Us Weekly went to the FBI alleging Jill was hacking into Us computers to gain information about celebs and their whereabouts. But as we've learned before, Us also intentionally left Ishkanian's phone lines at the magazine active to collect information from sources who didn't know she had left. They also kept Jill in the loop via email, even after repeated requests not to be included on sensitive in-house Wenner emails.

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About that libel lawsuit DJ Samantha Ronson filed against Jill Ishkanian's CelebrityBabylon.com and PerezHilton.com based on their claims that the coke found in sometime-lover Lindsay Lohan's car during "that accident" was Ronson's: We hear the accused parties have yet to be served with legal papers of any kind. We asked Ishkanian to elaborate, and received a "no comment."

The paparazzi agency X17 is notorious for a few things. Among them: hiring ex-gang members as photogs, owners Brandy and Francois Navarre getting rich off an under-compensated staff, and going after celebrity bloggers who they accuse of "stealing" their images. Funny, 'cause now X17 is the one being accused of stealing photos.

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That photo over there? Of Reese Witherspoon? On page 22 of this week's Us Weekly? The one with Prince William on the cover?

Janice Min & Co. paid $2,000.00 for it.

The sale was closed a week ago today, on April 17. The $2k payment gives Us "non-exclusive rights to publish such Photos, including the right to promote and advertise the Photos in connection with promotion of the issue in which the Photos appear."

It's a standard arrangement, sure. But how'd we get all those details? Because the magazine has a little problem with leaking all that sensitive information via email.

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A quick update on our report that Us Weekly kept activated the cell phone of Jill Ishkanian, the former Us reporter-cum-paparazzo, in order to collect messages from old sources.

Calls to the line, as of April 15 and again on April 18 (the day of our report) went through. A call to the number today, however, spits out a message about the customer "not accepting calls at this time."

An executive order to disable the line's voicemail, perhaps?

Jill Ishkanian is still taking messages at Us Weekly. Or at least her voicemail is.

Even though Ishkanian left the magazine in October 2005 – and now runs paparazzi agency Sunset Photo & News – the tabloid has left her cell phone activated and lets it collect voicemail messages, complete with Jill's outgoing message greeting callers.

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Given Us Weekly's relationship with Jill Ishkanian, one might be surprised to find that the Wenner tabloid is still courting her business.

Jill, of course, left Us Weekly to start her own paparazzi agency, Sunset Photo and News. Then Us went and claimed Jill hacked into their computers and stole sensitive information. Information that would, say, help her know where celebrities would be in order to snag some decent shots. And then there was the whole bit where the FBI raided Jill's office and duplicated her hard drive as evidence.

Why, then, is Us reaching out to Sunset for business?

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When news broke last week that paprazzo Scott Cosman was suing Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards (remember that laptop gently tossed over the balcony?), the photog industry was abuzz with a not-so-well-kept unreported secret: Cosman is one of the owners of Flynet, the agency you'll remember for working with Us Weekly's Ken Baker to set up a smoochfest between Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest (a Baker pal) in that makeout session.

Cosman and Rik Fedyck are taking on Richards with a lawsuit charging she went on a rampage after spotting the twosome snapping pics of Anderson on the set of Blonde and Blonder in November '06. The part where Denise called him a "fuckkng cockksucker at least 12-15 times as well as scumbags, douche bags and paparazzi scum" allegedly ended with Richards throwing their laptop over the balcony where it landed on an elderly lady.

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After we ran last week's item introducing you to the new project – CelebrityBabylon.com – that former Us Weekly staffer and current FBI investigation subject Jill Ishkanian is spearheading, we received a note from the web's newest proprietor requesting we clarify a little matter. You see, when we quoted Jill as saying:

I will tell you this, there is something very comforting in being the only paparazzi agency that has the FBI on speed dial, whenever we need them! It's a great protection in an industry that is obviously filled with a lot of jealousy and competition.

what she meant to say was that she was:

pleased that there is a level of cooperation, trust, and truthfulness with the Federal agents thoughout this investigation, and that any facts or additional information she is able to deal directly with them.

Which, as you imagine, is an important distinction. At least to her curious publics. As Jill's Celebrity Babylon grows more high profile – it's the subject of an upcoming E! program with the working title The Untitled Rob Nelson Project, about paprazzi agencies – it's no small matter to note that Jill isn't sleeping with the FBI; she's just turning down their bed when asked.

Most of you know Jill Ishkanian as the ex-Us Weekly staffer who started her own paparazzi agency and is under investigation by the FBI for allegedly hacking into Us' computers to glean information about celebs and their whereabouts. (The less sexy version of this story involves the Wenner Media tabloid forgetting to disable Jill's email account and her continuing to check it.)

But Jill (seen here at right, with former bosses Janice Min and Ken Baker) is more than a FBI case folder, the figurehead behind Sunset Photo and News, and business partners with Kitson owner Fraser Ross — which might have a little something to do with why there's so much fun going on between Kitson and Us. Jill is also the gal behind new web venture CelebrityBabylon.com. Refusing to call it a celebrity blog (and, to be fair, it looks to have more bells and navel rings than a typical blog), this "online magazine" is a decent mix of tabloid gossip, paparazzi photos, fashion and style commentary, and ego massaging.

Though the formal announcement about Celebrity Babylon is expected after the New Year, we checked in with Jill to see what the site is all about. And as Jill explains it, CB is all about synergy, baby: She's got the photos and gossip from her own paparazzi agency, so why be relegated to only one income stream (photo licensing) when she can be her own Perez Hilton?

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You know Kitson as the L.A. boutique that counts Nicky Hilton as both a supplier and a customer. The shop gets regular shout outs from the likes of Lindsay, Nicole, Jessica, and Paris, sealing its cultural relevance. You also know Kitson as store owned by Fraser Ross, who decided to capitalize on all the celebrity foot traffic and jump into the paparazzi business with Sunset Photo and News LLC — flanked by Jill Ishkanian, the former Us Weekly staffer now at the center of a federal investigation looking into whether she hacked her former employer's computers.

So, as you can tell, there's already bad blood between Kitson and the Wenner Media tabloid. And, as of yesterday, there's even more: Kitson filed a lawsuit against the gossip rag, alleging Janice Min & Co. violated written and oral agreements not to badmouth each other. And look at that — we've exclusively got the court documents.

Back in February, the bad blood between Kitson and Us – stemming from Ross hosting a book party for west coast exec editor Ken Baker, who supposedly didn't give enough editorial play in return – was settled with a $13,620 payment and a signed agreement between Ross and Us that the neither side was "to make, or knowingly cause to be made any statement or communication written or oral with the intention of (a) disparaging or otherwise impugnin the business or management of any of the Paries … (b) damaging the personal or business reputation of any of the parties … or (c) interfering with, impairing or disrupting the normal business operations of any of the Parties."

Turns out that was all a bunch of hooey, at least according to Kitson's lawsuit. The store claims the magazine went out of its way to crop Kitson goods out of photos it used (like a blue Kitson bag in Issue 593); listed the store's phone number (a number Us "knew or should have known is not answered") instead of its website, as is common practice for other retailers; and did not credit Kitson as the location where photos were taken that the magazine published, when it credited locations in other photos.

And Ross isn't done yet. He's also claiming Us engages in unfair business practices, allowing editors to plug their own goods (like staffer Suzanne Marchese's Fleur de Lis clothing) for free (the horror!); allowing editors to plug their own causes (like, ahem, Ken Baker's Head To Hollywood charity) without mention of the conflict of interest (double horror!); and editors demanding free merchandise from retailers under the threat that, if they don't send the goods, they'll never appear in the magazine again (triple threat, booyah!).

In the end, Kitson is assessing damages (read: lost business) at $10,000 per week. Which means Jann is gonna have to bring out the checkbook again, or Janice will have to make a little room in its "Get Insert-Celebrity-Here's Look!" pages for Kitson. (It's worth noting, meanwhile, that Kitson remains an advertiser in Us, at least as recently as the Sept. 4 Issue 603.)

After the jump: All the legal docs you've been waiting for.

Related: LA Shop Owners Want a Hand in the Paparazzi Jar

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Exclusive

News broke in May that Us Weekly was working with the FBI to investigate a rash of hacking into its computer system. The suspect? Former staffer and current paparazzi agency head Jill Ishkanian, who was accused of stealing information about Charlie Sheen. Last month it was revealed Us' systems weren't so secure: not only could Ishkanian access the tabloid's email, but so could the very celebrities the mag writes about, thanks to rank abuse of staffer Amy Sultan username and password. But aside from being able to scoop Us at its own game – which, to be fair, is a pretty big deal – thus far the scurry to close the leak hasn't had a big item on which to pin Janice Min's fear. Thanks to the wide open net our inbox casts, we've got at least one rumor on which we can lay our suspicions.

I know exactly what Us Weekly is now terrified will eventually come out in the investigation. Do you remember the Ryan Seacrest/Teri Hatcher in Malibu kissing pictures taken on March 25, 2006, that ran EXCLUSIVELY in Us Weekly? No surprise to savy media watchers, but it seems the pix were a set up, (without poor Hatcher's knowledge) between Us' West Coast Editor Ken Baker and his longtime BFF Ryan Seacrest. There is serious concern that there are now copies of those incriminating e-mails now floating around cyberspace that prove the two were involved in setting up the Desperate Housewives star. With ABC owning half of Us Weekly, how will it look to the bigwigs there to have Hatcher, their biggest star, made an object of ridicule, or a temporary beard for the American Idol host?

Ken Baker involved in under-the-radar spin? Psshaw!

Related: Former Us Staffer Especially Didn't Steal Info on Charlie Sheen
Related: FBI to Stop Us Weekly From Handing Out Passwords to Former Employees

Us Weekly continues to battle with former employee Jill Ishkanian over information which was allegedly stolen from Us' computers. The FBI searched Ishkanian's home last month, in search of evidence that she did in fact take information from Us Weekly to start her own paparazzi agency, Sunset Photo and News.

Not that she's denying accessing Us Weekly's computer system — she, along with everyone else who had ever worked at the glossy, had access to the email system through Amy Sultan's name and password, all of which was authorized by Paris Hilton BFF Ken Baker. And now Us is just a little peeved that this ex-employee (who's probably being cc'd on all these inter-office memos) is scooping the tabloid.

It gets even shadier when we find out that even the "Hollywood figures" the tabloid dishes about have access to these emails. Maybe Us should hold off on throwing an office-wide baby shower for Reese Witherspoon.

Paparazzi Firm Target of FBI Search [Richard Winton and Chris Lee, Los Angeles Times]
Earlier: Former Us Staffer Especially Didn't Steal Info on Charlie Sheen