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I Showed Up For the Debates And All I Got Was These Lousy Bracelets
The accessory scandal that rocked the nation

So who won the debates Friday night guys? PBS with their straight-forward coverage, or MSNBC with their talking head analysis and play-by-play? J/k. Everyone knows CNN won: they had that awesome gadget that was sort of like a clap-o-meter except it told you how conservatives and liberals and indies reacted to every statement the candidates made with seemingly arbitrary spikes and slopes. (Maybe it was connected to McCain's heart moniter?)

Haha! Kidding again: McCain won the debates because he precogged it so. Or maybe Obama won because he actually looked at his opponent instead of pretending he wasn't there?

Either way, the best part of the debates, hands down, was the scandal of Braceletgate '08:

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Historic Debates to Be Moderated Per Usual

The race for the White House this year has been nothing if not a historic moment for gender and race issues, so it's only apropo that the commentators chosen by networks to moderate the debates reflect this change in socio-political discourse. That's why it's so refreshing to hear the Commission on Presidential Debates has chosen three old white guys to man the helm; Tom Brokaw for NBC, CBS's Bob Schieffer, and PBS's Jim Lehrer. Yeah, eff Andrea Mitchell, what with her lady parts and her stupid non-partisan politics. And screw Gwen Ifill, what with her full lips and broad nose. Stay the course, old white guys. Four more years!

Tween Website More Involved in Picking the Next President Than ABC News

When television networks are treated to the ratings bonanza (read: 60 million viewers) known as this fall's four presidential debates, viewers will see PBS anchors Jim Lehrer and Gwein Ifill each moderate a debate, along with NBC's special something Tom Brokaw and CBS News' former anchor and current chief Washington correspondent Bob Scheiffer. That means no involvement from ABC News or, for that matter, a one Katie Couric. But you know who was selected to participate by the Commission on Presidential Debates? MySpace. News Corp.'s social network will power MyDebates.org, which will live stream the debates and poll users in real time on the issues being discussed. Granted, this is not the same thing as letting MySpace users frame the questions, like the CNN-YouTube primary debates did. But at least they were asked to the table. Sorry Couric. Sorry Gibson.

Cash-Strapped <i>NewsHour</i> Still Manages More Viewers, International Coverage Than <i>CBS Evening News</i>

Bad news for that twenty-five-year-old PBS news program that is still broadcasting: It's in financial trouble!

Though Jim Lehrer's physical health is in recovery (Lehrer, who once moderated a debate where George Bush was rumored to have been mic'd up) just underwent aortic valve replacement surgery), his NewsHour's financial health isn't so sunshiny.

For the past 14 years, Archer Daniels Midland ("one of the world’s largest agricultural processors of soybeans, corn, wheat and cocoa") sponsored the program, ponying up about $4 million (and sometimes $7m) a year to pad the show's $26-28 million annual budget. Last summer, the company announced it was severing ties with NewsHour, leaving Chevron and the Pacific Life Insurance Company as the show's remaining sponsors. But that won't be enough to curb cutbacks.

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