Do you know why people continue throwing away Parade magazine instead of flipping through its ads for commemorative coin collections? Because they keep doing crappy celebrity interviews. Is there anything about Jodie Foster – her Taxi Driver role, what makes her go for a script, on raising children – that you haven't seen regurgitated in a dozen other cookie cutter interviews? The magazine didn't think so, so instead of, say, asking her about gays in Hollywood, they've spit this out. (And Foster's interview isn't even the worst. Try this one with Sean Faris, or this one with Charlize Theron.) It's a shame they're gonna get away with it, too, given the proclivity of Jodie Foster psychos, like this one who was arrested yesterday whose bomb threat note included her name.
"WHICH big Hollywood actress is about to come out of the closet?" wonders today's Page Six. "She's been living with her girlfriend in a small town, where all the neighbors know, and the two are now engaged to be married."
Given the term "big Hollywood actress" we would have gone with Academy Award winner (and heavily rumored closet case) Jodie Foster. Then again, our celeb-obsessed younger brother's guess helpfully reminds us that the word "big" has more than one connotation.
• Magician Hans Klok comes out of the closet; pledges to leave all the man-on-female sex crimes to (alleged) rapist David Copperfield.
• Jodie Foster's best performance to date.
• Tyra Banks to tell you more than you ever wanted to know about her vagina.
• Courteney Cox is a surprisingly caring mother! Especially for someone who named her innocent newborn "Coco."
• And speaking of Cocos, Ice-T's wife accidentally forgets her Halloween costume at home. A pity.
• Meanwhile, Google accidentally confuses outgoing Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons with…two monkeys. Even better? The ensuing Newsweek article is entitled "Google: Glitch, Not Racism."
And speaking of vigilante justice, Jodie Foster's new revenge flick The Brave One was No. 1 at the box office this past weekend. And that despite garnering a 5.6/10 on Rotten Tomatoes and reviews like ""Foster isn't the only one abused in this film. Viewers are, too."
• Kim Porter tries to articulate why she left Diddy but omits a few of his sins. Like, for instance, the time he had a baby with another woman while she was preggers with his twins.
• Stanford to cultivate a younger, hipper look, by shunning the literary canon and teaching a course about Facebook.
• The awkward middle child from Full House is carrying a brand-new fetus around. Even creepier? TMZ is currently showing pictures of her ultrasound.
• Did you shed a tear for Britney Spears? Did you pity her anew? Well, take a gander at her expansive hundred acre estate and remember: she's still much, much richer than you.
• It's official, you need to be on hallucinogens to appreciate the food at the Waverly Inn.
• Jerry Seinfeld discovers the best way to market his family-friendly bee movie: make unfunny jokes about bees raping each other.
• Jodie Foster has lots of love from the lesbians, despite the fact that she still refused to admit she's one of them.
• Damon Wayans to stop reliving his In Living Color glory days? Unfortunately, "homie don't play that."
• You wouldn't believe how many different ways there are of spoiling your pooch. Unfortunately for Rover, you can't afford any of them.
• Jodie Foster's Flightplan isn't flying well with flight attendants, who claim their portrayal as rude and unhelpful could do a disservice to airplane security if passengers start distrusting them even more. Because we believe their "just some technical difficulties" excuse isn't actually code for "the engines stopped working."
• For the fourth season of The Simple Life, producers are scouting families willing to host Paris and Nicole that have fathers friskier than Jude Law and just as likely to make a pass at the ex-friends.
• After much ballyhooing about, Kate Moss finally checked herself into The Meadows rehab clinic in Arizona, otherwise known as a career requirement to land fashion house contracts.
• David Gest isn't letting a Liza Minelli bitch slap keep him down. He's planning his comeback (from what to what, we still don't know) next month in L.A.
• Michael Jackson's unpaid warehouse bills are haunting him once again, with unanswered messages from brother Jermaine popping up that show Jacko was too busy wooing young boys to return.
• Gwyneth Paltrow is rumored to be pregnant with her second child, Orange.
