Authors who don't understand publishers are supposed to award them advances should not be in the business of book publishing. Also, this world doesn't need another Anna Nicole Smith treatment.

So you can register our sympathy level for authors Pol' Atteu and Patrik Simpson, who had arranged with Jody (Babydol) Gibson, "a former Hollywood 'super madam,'" to sell Anna Nicole Smith: Portrait of an Icon online via her imprint Corona.

Except they backed out of that deal, to sell their "signature edition" through publisher Kings Road, and, in a soon-to-be-filed lawsuit (aren't they all), they allege Gibson defrauded them, and are after $50k. That the twosome signed an agreement with Gibson (which they consider a "draft") notwithstanding, they also ponied up $3k for Gibson for expenses, not realizing money usually flowed in reverse, from publisher to scribe.

"We didn't know they were supposed to give us an advance," Simpson tells Gatecrasher. "We just wanted to put out a beautiful tribute to our friend [Smith]. [Gibson] is a convicted criminal; we didn't know the extent of everything she was doing."

To be fair, Gibson has been convicted of solicitation and running a prostitution ring. But so has Heidi Fleiss, and look what a respectable individual she has become.

Haven't picked up Jody 'Babydol' Gibson's book yet? Well, fortunately for you, she's given out a couple of free previews and here's what she had to say:

On Bruce Willis:
He was well-endowed "hottie" who liked to party with five girls at once.

On Ben Affleck:
He was coked up out of his mind, only wanted one girl at a time. (Prude!)

On Heidi Fleiss:
She had sex with a German Shepherd. Seriously.

Plus, Tommy Lasorda is bad in the sack, and Sly Stallone got it on in Planet Hollywood. And so on, and so forth.

CONTINUED »

When you're done talking about Hollywood "It" madam Heidi Fleiss, it's time to turn your attention to Jody "Babydol" Gibson, the "California Dreamin'" prostitution chieftess whose 2000 arrest threatened to unleash the celebrity names in her clientele. But those names never surfaced, since all publicly available evidence in the case had the identities of the johns redacted. That was then.

But now, after all of Gibson's appeals have expired, her trick book has been unsealed — and the names of Bruce Willis, Tommy Lasorda, Last Action Hero producer Steven Roth, former Texas lieutenant governor Ben Barnes (who claimed to have helped the sitting president enter the Air National Guard to avoid Vietnam service), and Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones are all in the public record.

It's also worth mentioning: Gibson has a book, Secrets of a Hollywood SuperMadam, that comes out on Thursday. It also names the names.

Naturally, everyone is denying any affiliation with Babydol. (Well, except Jones, where officially it's a "maybe.") Through his attorney Marty Singer, Bruce Willis says he's never met the woman. Lasorda's camp is aghast Gibson would "accuse" him of such behavior. And Roth – who didn't exactly deny it – answered the phone with a "Is that right?" and hung up.

As for Barnes? He directed all questions to the White House.