So Rahm Emanuel is the new chief of staff under Barack Obama, because he worked for the Clintons, is a great spin guy, and looks a lot like Anton Chigurh from No Country For Old Men but with a better haircut.
Who else is on Obama's team of Super Friends? Lots of old Clinton staff, for one thing.
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"Naturally, there is a bit of nostalgia that’s washing over me this week. Four years ago, when I was working for a station based in Boston, I was sent to Washington to produce our coverage from Bush headquarters. It was a blurry night. I remember someone telling me early in the evening that it was 'Kerry in a landslide.' Next thing I knew it was morning, I was missing a shoe and playing Texas Hold ‘Em with Karen Hughes on the floor of the Dulles Airport Cinnabon." —Anderson Cooper 360 producer Jack Gray on the consequences of predictions
Finally, a list of the 50 richest members of Congress (27 Republicans, 23 Democrats)!
As you may have been able to guess, John Kerry is the absolute richest fuckin' millionaire in Congress today, worth about $231 million that the government knows of. And that's not even counting his wife's ketchup money. Second richest is Jane Harman, who's rolling in just under $226 million made from the sale of Harman Kardon electronics.
Presidential candidate John McCain is the nation's 13th richest congressman, with almost $20 million to his name. Not that twenty mill is anything to sneeze at, but McCain's largest assets are all listed in the name of his wife, Cindy, whose worth reportedly exceeds $100 million.
The disgusting celebrity elitist Barack Obama is nowhere on the list.
Haha! Both Senator John Kerry and Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden accidentally called John McCain George W Bush in their speeches at last night's DNC. Aside from the first syllable, the two Republicans' names sound completely different from one another, but they're JUST SO DAMNED SIMILAR policy-wise, so it's easy to mistake one's creased, warmongering face for the other's.
Sound familiar? Indeed: Back when John Kerry bungled the Democratic party's hope for the White House, he also left his campaign with 3 million people on his listserv. Guess who's still worth talking to so he can press the forward button on your fundraising drive? Though Politico doesn't say how big Clinton's email list is, she does have 158,000 “supporters” on Facebook and more than 191,000 “friends” on MySpace. Maybe they'll even post her iPod playlist. [Politico]
Who is John McCain convincing when he calls himself a "conservative Republican": Voters, or himself? But that's his shtick, so you'll have to forgive him for it when he brings it up to distance himself from John Kerry, the Democrat who, in 2004, approached McCain about being his running mate. Now that McCain is the presumptive Republican nominee, would he return the favor?
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That's the paraphrased temperamental answer he gave a New York Times reporter who asked him about his Kerry conversations, which he has actually denied having, aboard the campaign's plane. It's so much harder to run away from your lies when the closest exit leads to a 30,000-foot drop.
Last night we were heading to Queens. Usually, en route to that borough, we think about all the national cuisines we could eat and how weird everything is, but sometimes our thoughts turn to politics.
And we were thinking about John Kerry endorsing Barack Obama, and we were thinking it’s not so awesome. CONTINUED »
The Yale Book of Quotations has named “don’t tase me, bro” as the most memorable quote of 2007. Following that, was Miss Teen South Carolina garble about map readings in U.S. classrooms. So basically, 2007 was memorable for its stupidity. [Reuters]
Listen, bro. We all know you got tasered. We all know that, despite looking hilarious, that must have really, really hurt. And we all know that you were, understandably, pretty fucking pissed off about it afterwards.
But then you had to go ruin your (cough) credibility by forming a Facebook group to help ease your pain (i.e. make the most out of your thirty-seconds of fame) which struck us as both shrewdly opportunistic and slightly wrong somehow. Which is why we weren't particularly sorry to see that the enterprising folks over at BWE had turned your excruciating yelp of pain into an already-over T-shirt slogan.
And with Halloween right around the corner, it couldn't come at a more opportune time! In a recent discussion regarding cheap-but-amazing costumes, we floated the possibility of carrying a water-spritzing fan around and telling people we were "El Nino." But now we've got an even better costume idea:
We'll just be a loudmouthed college kid best known for having to be physically restrained during a speech by a former presidential candidate no one else cares about.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth accuse John Kerry of lying about his military record; Kerry does nothing.
Police arrest, tase Meyers; Kerry does nothing.
University of Florida student Andrew Meyers rants at John Kerry; Kerry does nothing. And Bush accused Kerry of being a flip-flop.
(90 seconds in)
[Queerty]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's baby Mortimer hasn't even been born yet … but now's as good a time as any for the future celebrity to start his underage drinking [NYDN]
• Pete Doherty must be sucking up some of Kate Moss' intelligence. [Page Six]
• After a long struggle over which celeb religion outfits were hotter, the Beckhams have finally chosen Kabbalah for their fake faith. [The Scoop]
• John Kerry may hate tomatoes, but Julia Roberts finds them totally hilarious. [AP]
• We're surprised that Oprah doesn't want to host the Tony Awards. She's normally so excited by those Nate Berkus/Isaac Mizrahi types. [AP]
