Irascible Brit Conrad Black is just one of the many jailbirds hoping to receive some clemency from an on-his-way-out George Bush.
Black used to be the third biggest newspaper baron in the world, with affiliations to The Daily Telegraph and Chicago Sun Times. Of course, that was before he defrauded all his shareholders at Hollinger Inc. and was convicted on several counts of mail and wire fraud. Whoops, someone get this man out of FAIL jail and give him a last-minute position on Bush's cabinet.
Although, ironically, even Black thought that John McCain's economic plan was a bunch of horeshit.
Aha-ha. Not that any of you keep abreast of the goings-on in Tennessee's dailies, but The Murfreesboro Post had quite the kerfuffle on their hands when a La Vergne principal, Stephen Lewis, wrote one of his "humor columns" filled with "humor jokes" about Barack Obama's election as president.
Which would have been fine, if the "satiric" post hadn't been filled with such mind-boggling racist caricatures and archetypes that you wonder if Lewis likes to dress up in blackface on Halloween.
Let's just say the entire column was just revised words to the Jefferson's theme song, such as:
“Well we’re movin’ on up,
To Washington, D.C.
To a deee-luxe pimp pad,
Painted whiiiite.
Yeah we’re movin’ on up,
To the White House.
I’ll be jetting with P. Diddy cross the sky.
Awesome. Someone misinterpreted Robert Downey Jr.'s role in Tropic Thunder, hmm?
So after this news got out on blogs and what not, Principal Lewis was forced to make an apology to his students and their parents, several of which you imagine to be African-American themselves. ::Pulls collar:: Is it getting hot in here guys?
CONTINUED »
Because news travels faster over the pond: The Guardian is reporting that Hillary Clinton is accepted the offer Secretary of State. Which is funny, because:
A) Why would a British paper get the scoop on the story before the, say, New York Times, unless the leak (the story was sourceless) was some American-hating foreigner like…Rahm Emmanuel?
B) It means that parsing through Bill Clinton's finances took less than a week, an incredible feat considering no one's been able to untangle that mess since he's stop being president.
Then again, it could just be an issue of careless wording. Consider the opening statement:
CONTINUED »
Barack Obama and John McCain met for the first time since the election in Chicago today for a sit down, and well, if there is one thing the two candidates have in common, it's that they both are extremely uncomfortable sitting next to each other in giant chairs, forced to make stilted small talk while a billion photographers take their pictures. Hey, social awkwardness knows no party lines you guys.
So The National Enquirer has a huge scoop about Skeletor Cindy McCain kissing a guy who is not a billion years old so is clearly not her husband, John McCain. Except the picture they use could be any grandma in a ponytail, so we can't immediately assume it's true.
Unfortunately, since even a broken National Enquirer is right twice a year, we can't immediately assume it's not, either.
CONTINUED »
Whoops we missed it! Senator John McCain was on Leno last night for his first post-election appearance. And hey, he's pretty funny! Now that the election is over and Sarah Palin is somewhere bubbling up toil and trouble, we can honestly say we find John McCain way more tolerable. No one ever said the man didn't have a sense of humor about himself.
Some clips of McCain comparing himself to a baby (and not just because he wears Depends, zing!) after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Now that the election is over and both Tina Fey and Sarah Palin have ended their runs playing the potential future Vice President, what's in the cards for the two women? Both are hilarious — one intentionally, one unintentionally — and both are beautiful and (arguably) talented. So who will stand a better chance for success in life after the presidential election?
Weird how The Times, infamous for the amount of anonymous sourcing they produce per year, would finally go against its own policy of accepting quotes from whoever, whenever, just so they could screw over conservative columnist Bill Kristol. Well, personal politics before (lack of) ethics, we say.
Kristol was the guy, remember, who brought Sarah Palin to the national forefront, and then had no trouble turn-coating once it became obvious that she was just a hot tranny mess.
But in today's expose about GOP in-fighting, the name Randy Scheunemann came up as a possible source of Kristol's info.
CONTINUED »
People are freaking out that the Chicago Reader cover featuring Barack Obama was heralded with the words, "Don't Screw This Up." Because it's racist? Because only black people can screw things up, you see. Not like that last guy in office…wait, this argument makes no sense! Says editor Allison True:
But no matter how jubilant some of us may feel about his election, the media's role isn't to cheerlead for elected officials. We serve our readers: we're observers and reporters and commentators. We were addressing Obama as the person — not the black person — whom we've handed an important new job and letting him know that even though we put him there, we'll be watching. Would you expect anything else?
Don't worry guys! The Reader had a cover for John McCain ready too, just in case!
CONTINUED »
The claws are out. The race is over and now it's time for the finger-pointing at the Republican headquarters, made hard by the fact that the obvious scapegoat, Sarah Palin, is the candidate with too much at stake (Palin '12!!) to have the blame heaped as liberally on her as the McCain staffers would want.
So some "anonymous" aides say that the Alaskan governor is two steps away from a Special-Ed program and that she undermined the whole campaign by taking one single prank phone call, while the lady that came out of this whole mess with a $150,000 (or more!) wardrobe says that there wasn't any in-fighting and that she is "no diva."
H'okay…
CONTINUED »
That coming-soon expose about Sarah Palin and her egregious spending during the presidential campaign is certainly becoming a hot-ticket item, which makes us wonder how the guys over at the scrambling papers were able to round up these anonymous, disgruntled McCain staffers and get them to go on record. Sure, they are angry and out of work now, but it shouldn't be too hard to put the details together and get the names out of all the aides who spilled the beans on this article, and then try getting a job in politics, buster.
My grandma always said there was a special place in hell for turncoats, but then again my grandma was crazy.
The most recent example of Palin-bashing by a former McCain staffer, after the jump. This is the one that starts off with the Alaskan governor answering the door in a towel.
CONTINUED »
Barack Obama's acceptance speech in Chicago last night.
McCain's concession speech, after the jump:
CONTINUED »
This is Why the Internet Is Allowed to Continue: Is Obama President? Is McCain?
Carry on, The Web.
Funny thing today at the newsstand: The conservative New York Post, helmed by conservative Rupert Murdoch, gave what appears to be a stunning endorsement of Barack Obama on their cover, despite the fact that the paper already officially endorsed John McCain.
So what gives? Early defeat and a zap to reality, à la The Drudge Report a couple weeks back? Or was Murdoch been increasingly in the tank for Obama, but afraid to show support against his party lines until it was reasonable safe (i.e. had cold facts to back it up) to do so?
CONTINUED »
This video is called The Mac is Back and is clearly trying to pander to last-minute voters who still think Reality Bites is a realistic portrayal of "kids these days."
Lindsay Robertson wants you to watch for the "hip" John McCain being a badass and smoking a cigarette at :40 mark.
Also guys? That's it for election videos this year. Glad we went out on a bang.
Welp, if we are going to take our cues from the Internet this Election Day, it might as well be Amazon.com. Book sales don't lie, people.
And based on the amount of people willing to shell out for the candidates' books, the winner could be called right now and we could just shut this whole election thing down:
(Obama's) "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance" stands at number 96 overall, of all books. That’s pretty impressive considering it’s hardcover only and sells on amazon for $15.57. (The retail price is $25.95.)
Obama’s paperback, "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream," sells for just $7.99, which is like, almost free. That puts it at number 39 for all books.
By contrast, John McCain’s "Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir," also priced on amazon at $7.99, is holding steady at number 1,393.
So we have Obama with two books in the top 100, and John McCain's not even breaking the top 1,000. Not on the list? Meghan McCain's children book about her father, My Dad, John McCain.
Either the Republicans who are voting aren't reading this year, or this election will be a landslide. Remember the Obama vs. McCain Halloween masks? And these books don't even make us feel uncomfortably racist!
If you've been watching or reading the news, you know that things don't look good for John McCain. Of course, anything can happen today and polls aren't to be believed, so who knows what's going to happen.
One thing's for sure - the Republican's campaign got a bit of good news today after a second investigation exonerated running mate Sarah Palin of any wrong doing in the "Troopergate" scandal:
The race isn't over until the fat lady sings, or in the case of the elections, until the final polls close and the media speculation shitshow can finally begin in earnest, what with all those magic maps and HD technology and what have you.
But at least one major network and one major blog are predicting an early night, and won't have any qualms about callin' it like they see it.
CONTINUED »
So Saturday Night Live milked the last they could out of the election last night, during the "Live" Presidential Bash, which wasn't very live at all but, for the most part, pre-taped. Okay, whatever, Lorne. It's your reputation.
But as for the "guests" who stopped by, there wasn't an Obama or Biden to be seen! But you know who did try their hand at comedy, for the umpteenth time? You betcha… John McCain and Sarah Plain and Quirky.
Ha ha ha? That was more somber than funny, Palin. Especially the part where you threaten NBC with revoking their broadcasting license once you are sworn in as Vice President. Lady, you are terrifying.
Here's John McCain, not doing much better, after the jump.
Hey, at least it beats Terry McAuliffe doing shots with the cast of Morning Joe when Hillary lost the primaries:
The staff is “short on sleep but pretty jazzed,” Salter said. McCain was receiving only minimal updates from headquarters, channeled through the traveling entourage which includes campaign manager Rick Davis and senior aide Charlie Black.
Salter, the tempo of his voice increasing with each word, smiled as he described his own mood. “A little hard getting out of bed,” he said, quickly adding: “But eight cups of coffee and a half a pack of cigarettes later, I’m feeling pretty good myself.”
When asked how he was planning to get through the marathon seven-state day, Salter quipped: “Crystal meth. Me, personally, that’s how I’m going to do it.”
-WSJ via Gawker
Editorial Director
