Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
scission \SIZH-un\ noun 1 : a division or split in a group or union : schism; 2 : an action or process of cutting, dividing, or splitting : the state of being cut, divided, or split
It looks like John Travolta had a scission with his old toupee.
[Photos]
Ian Halperin isn't letting Andrew Morton get all the sales from Scientology scandal. On Tuesday, Random House is out with the author's book Hollywood Undercover, where Halperin poses as a gay actor to "infiltrate the Chuch," which promised to cure him of the homo curse.
Halperin "recounts his bizarre tour of the Scientology Celebrity Centre on Hollywood Boulevard and his visit to world headquarters where a Church cameraman documents his every move from behind a bush, and where an official offers to turn him straight through a series of courses called 'auditing,'" according the press release sent over. "In the process, he unravels the reason why so many Hollywood A-listers — including Cruise and John Travolta — are drawn to the religion, which has frequently been described as a cult."
Scintillating!
But Halperin is hip to the Web 2.0 age (whatever that means), which is why he's been uploading accompanying videos to YouTube for the past few months. This also lets him call his manuscript the first "YouTube Compatible Book," which is a little like calling iVillage.com the first "TV compatible website," but we'll roll with it.
So what kind of recorded antics did Halperin get himself into? CONTINUED »
• John Travolta is still frightening people with his greasy, Brandon Davis hair.
• Amy Winehouse is still insisting she's not on drugs.
• Jessica Seinfeld is still claiming she's too rich, successful to plagiarize from non-famous people.
• Paris Hilton is still an exhibitionist.
• Beyonce Knowles is still angry at Rihanna for stealing her curvaceous thunder.
• And Geri Halliwell is still…relevant?
• Isaiah Washington hates fags, but likes to be in TV shows that cater to them.
• Too bad this paparazzo only got his ass kicked by a B-list TV star, instead of hitting the Lindsay Lohan jackpot.
• If we have to hear one more conversation about Harry Potter, we're going to slap your grown up ass all the way back to where it belongs: elementary school.
• Defending yourself against child molestation is, like, totally expensive!
• Local Fox News reporter Andrea Robinson gets a live on-air proposal! Which is totally romantic, and we'd totally congratulate her, except we totally changed the channel back to Dawson's Creek before Robinson gave her answer.
• Times Square without the sex shops, prostitutes and now…cars? Jeez, next thing you know, they'll be outlawing tourists.
• Ahhhh, there's nothing quite like riding your motor scooter down the Coney Island boardwalk…and then hitting one of those loose boards, and falling flat on a rusty nail and/or syringe.
• And if the rusty nails don't kill you, maybe a runaway oil tanker will.
• Turns there are perks for keeping your virginity. Oh no wait, it's just crappy play tickets.
• Prince Harry likes it when his girlfriend calls him "Big Ginger." Kinky!
• Guests of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker's wedding have an extra swag-ger in their step.
• There's nothing sleazy billionaire Ron Perelman likes more than pining away for his 7th grade crush sailing on his yacht with platonic friend Gina Gershon.
• Steven Spielberg is living in constant fear of his grandmother's chaise lounge.
• “I love big boobs on a woman,” admits a totally heterosexual John Travolta. “So I wanted [my character] Edna [Turnblad] to have them. My boobs and butt got a lot of attention on the set. The whole crew kept coming over and groping me. The scary thing is, I liked it.”
• Brandy takes a backseat to her porn star brother while waiting for that whole vehicular manslaughter thing to pan out.
• "Scientology is not homophobic in any way," scoffs John Travolta. "In fact, it's one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone's accepted," says Travolta, who hastily added, "Well, as long as they've got money."
• The countdown until the Libby pardon continues! Have you entered your office pool, yet?
• Nicole Kidman takes shelter under her umbrella, Ella. Ella. Ey, ey—oh, nevermind.
• No longer content to make crappy music in only one genre, Kelly Clarkson signs with a new, country music manager.
• Sir Elton John exhibits the typical, understated British civility.
• Isaiah Washington's back in the news, and we don't care.
• Many concert goers are guilty of smoking, chugging shots and forgetting the majority of the lyrics, and some would argue that Lily Allen is no exception. Then again, she did it onstage.
• Paris Hilton has already shed five pounds since becoming a guest of the state. Related: an envious Nicole Richie to throw herself at the mercy of the court.
• Also, Hilton has finally left the medical center (a.k.a. loony bin) and rejoined her fellow Lynwood inmates.
• Anderson Cooper can only lift five-pound weights, says stalker/openly gay rocker Rufus Wainwright.
• "My driver is a crackhead" screamed Rosario Dawson, prompting Martha Stewart to respond, "He must be Eqyptian, dear."
• A remake of Hairspray hits the big screen next month, but the casting of John Travolta as Edna Turnblad has gay critics flaming mad. Apparently, traditionalists wanted to see the role go to a cross-dressing transsexual rather than a closeted homo.
• Jay-Z woos Beyonce by promising her the world. Starting with lung cancer.
• A not-exactly-repentant Paris announces plans to keep a prison diary, which she will then auction off to the highest bidder.
• John Travolta continues to be embarrassed by his autistic teenage son, Jett. Meanwhile, Jett continues to be embarrassed by his pot-bellied Scientologist father, John Travolta.
• Meanwhile, "Because Brad and Angelina are not married they were unable to adopt a couple under Vietnamese law." Fortunately for Brangelina, other third world countries are far less stringent.
• Meanwhile, Calum Best endeavors to help Lindsay Lohan the only way he knows how: by "cruising for girls and getting as drunk as he could."
• Sharon Stone to play a "Hillary Clinton-type." You know, if Hillary looking like an aging 40-something sexpot.
• *NSYNC alums Joey Fatone and Lance Bass had to wait for five minutes "before being allowed into the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel." The horror!
• John Travolta and his Scientologist publicist Paul Bloch insist the actor is promoting Hairspray on Good Morning America simply because they asked first. It's has nothing to do with the Today show (where he castmates are appearing) and that Tom Cruise interview. Nothing.
• J. Lo's camp denies any notion of a split with Marc Anthony.
• Willa Ford set to play the rich, big-breasted blonde who recently died.
• Joe Francis indicted on two counts of tax evasion. Apparently the $3.78 million spent on his home in Punta Mita, Mexico, was not a valid business expense.
• Pink is suffering from the Dixie Chick's effect.
CONTINUED »
• John Travolta regrets not saving Anna Nicole Smith. Also on Travolta's list of regrets? Battlefield Earth.
• Jennifer Mee finally stops hiccuping! Fortunately, she found herself mysteriously cured after cashing those morning tv checks.
• Anna Nicole Smith to finally get a proper appropriately over-the-top burial.
• It turns out watching American Idol isn't nearly as fun as mocking Antonella Barba.
• Vibe president to focus on BlackBook in the hopes of actually generating a profit this year.
• Jossip to Alicia Keys: lose the beret.
• How long is too long for a movie? "Four hours!" says Lord of the Rings.
• Is John Travolta gearing up to play Chris Farley or something? [TMZ]
• Maybe he should try the Carson Daly/Daniel Day Lewis diet. [Page Six]
• Being the new Messiah and all, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is memorialized as the first wax baby evah. [PopSugar]
• Aren't these staged photos of Tori Spelling in front of a pawn shop darling? What's next, another publicity stunt boob job? [Mollygood]
• Well, we have one more year until it cost $5 to ride the subway. (Cue general cackle from bloggers in response to the concept of leaving the apartment.) [NYT]
Isaac Hayes, who played the voice of the famous South Park character Chef, has left town. Hayes decided that the show's satirical tone had turned into intolerance and bigotry, specifically talking about the show's take on religion.
"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."
Yet according to Matt Stone, a co-creator of South Park, Hayes is specifically upset regarding an episode that poked fun of Scientology.
"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology… He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."
That hilarious episode "Trapped in the Closet" came out last November, and depicted Tom Cruise and John Travolta taking Stan as their saviro, while Cruise traps himself in a closet. While it pushed us of the couch into a hysterical ball on the floor, it pushed avid Scientologist Hayes over the edge.
Hayes had little problem making fun of Christians, Jews, Muslims, or Hindus, but when it came to Scientology, he is so afraid that Cruise will impregnate him and lock him in the basement, that he can longer go on.
Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park' [Erin Carlson, AP News]
• There's a reason Britney Spears needs hair extensions (or whatever that stupid hat is). She's going bald y'all. [The Superficial]
• Merideth Viera asked Star Jones if she would ever marry a gay man … things got a little uncomfortable after that. [R&M]
• Will Farrell is awkward, even in real life. Yeah, we kind of freak out around our stalkers, too. [Matt Belitsky]
• John Travolta could do drag. Why not? It can't be worse than Look Who's Talking Too. [MSNBC]
• Ellen Barkin lets everyone know she's choking by standing up and screaming "I'm going to die!" Before she starts actually choking, of course. [Page Six]
• Surprise! Celebs, their handlers, and the paparazzi are in cahoots to bring you Us Weekly's front of the book each week. [WSJ]
• We already gave you Paris Hilton impersonator Natalie Reid's Friendster page. Now become her MySpace pal. [MySpace]
• One day, Mort Zuckerman would like his now 8-year-old daughter Abigail to take over the reigns. Until then, he'll continue to fend off Rupert Murdoch by himself. [NYT]
• Just because those trolls in Starbucks aren't willing to pony up for a T-Mobile wireless subscription doesn't mean you should be stealing other people's open network access. [NYT]
• Jann Wenner wanted Tom Cruise for his May Men's Journal cover. Tom Cruise wanted Wenner's Rolling Stone story about Scientology killed. Jann said no. Tom said no. [NY Mag]
• Jermaine Jackson hoped to cash in on brother Michael's infamy. Until brother Michael found out. [NYDN]
• Macaulay Culkin, published author? We hear he'll be signing copies next week at the Union Square Barnes & Noble. [Time]
• Travolta. Latifah. Hairspray, the movie. [KIRO 7]
Editorial Director
