• Weekly World News is folding, which means the only place to read about a bald, umbrella-brandishing freakshow is on Britney Spear's official website.
• Presidential candidates get a little hot under the collar; perspire freely.
• In addition to being a better athlete than you are who gets hotter chicks than you do, QB Tom Brady is also a far snazzier dresser.
• Barry Bonds is officially the new Roger Maris. On 'roids.
• Never one to miss the scoop, Jon Friedman starts asking the big questions about some mysterious mogul man (Rupert whatisface?) who's slowly but surely taking over the media world.
• Fox News discovers it ain't easy being green.
From self-declared humorist Dave Barry's blog:
There's a horse farm near us, and every morning the horses hold a meeting. They all gather in one spot on the pasture and form a circle, heads facing in, and they stay that way for a long time. I assume they're going over the day's schedule. ("OK, we're going to eat, poop, and swish our tails. Everybody got that?" "Wait, what was number two again?")
Which is exactly how things work around here at the Jossip news stable!
Except replace the word "meeting" with "talk about our raging hangovers," the words "swish our tails" with "write cranky insights about our lives" and the word "poop" with "our synopsis of Jon Friedman's latest column."
Although we always had Tim Russert pegged as a Robert Redford man, it turns out he's actually more of a Paul Newman aficionado, which is an Italian word meaning "semi-obsessed fan." And that's just one of several (or at least two) things we learned from the latest gripping installment of Jon Friedman's MarketWatch.
The second? We find out why.
While continuing his hatred for 23-year-old web entrepreneurs.
[MW]
Jon Friedman wants to do a favor for the men and women outside New York who are covering the presidential campaign: school 'em on Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Jon's old boss. So what, pray tell, is this game-changing advice offered in "Bloomberg 101"? CONTINUED »
Earlier, we told you about Jon Friedman's latest column, which purports to list "The Biggest Media Stories in 2007."
At least, according to Jon Friedman.
But while the man clearly has no fear of the superlative, we were hardly expecting him to slaughter a "Coffee Talk" reference, plug his previous column and set out to personally discredit CNN in the span of a single article.
And yet, that's exactly what he's done here, as with this full-fledged assault on Larry king, which begins with the words "CNN: the most trusted name in fluff" and then, unfortunately, continues on from there.
Isn't the Mass Listicle Phenomenon supposed to be reserved for the end of days the year? As CBS Public Eye blogger Matthew Felling notes, we're only at mid-year and already we're being bombarded. There's the American Film Institute "Top 100 Films of All Time," Forbes' "Celebrity 100," and Chicago Tribune's "Our Favorite Magazines."
Some blame the influx of lists-as-content on a slow news cycle. Others, a lack of creativity. Surely one of those is behind Jon Friedman's entry today: "The biggest media stories of 2007 are …"
Or both.
Point of reference: When a writer uses the term "cyber"-anything without a modicum of irony, you should not trust said writer's opinions on technology.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's look at Marketwatch space-filler Jon Friedman's column today: "'Cyberphobia' afflicts many Time Inc. writers." CONTINUED »
• Only Conrad Black would call Conrad Black's fraud trial "bullshit."
• Jon Friedman is first last to recognize Charlie Gibson/ABC's success.
• World rebels against business mags. Portfolio, however, is safe.
• Turns out Time Warner shareholders are more concerned with profits than with former HBO prez's indiscretions.
• San Francisco Chronicle to get 25% worse.
• AdAge: "The print-media industry is not only filled with f–k-ups, it coddles them." Case in point, AMI's David Pecker.
"I am a lousy martyr," writes Jon Friedman, in the latest gripping edition of MarketWatch.
Then, since he was already on an honesty kick, Friedman also confessed to being grammatically-impaired, incurably verbose and a poor dresser.
Okay, fine, that last part didn't happen. But then again, it wouldn't have particularly surprised us, since it encapsulates the precise blend of honesty, integrity and unsolicited confessional we've come to look for in Friedman's incoherent biweekly rants. And today's column was true to form, grabbing our attention from beginning to end with Friedman's pseudo-intellectual, feelings of "shame" over his having attended the Time 100 fete!
Stay tuned for Friedman's shameful confession, after the jump!
CONTINUED »
• Could NBC's properties be scoring all those Larry Birkhead exclusives because they have some sort of business relationship? Take that, The Insider.
• Nothing is more exhausting than being news executive everybody hates — except coming up with a catchy term like "media manifesto" that you hope everyone else will start using.
• Jon Friedman holds out his wang for Dave Zinczenko to touch it, fingers crossed that he will.
• So, like, Rosie O'Donnell is a big deal and stuff?
• Like most average working people, Matt Lauer had a bad day once.
• New Garden & Gun magazine takes one part Guns & Ammo, one part Home & Garden, and one part "out on a limb."
You know you're in trouble when Jon Friedman dismisses you as being overly pompous.
Because, really, if anyone would know what it's like to reek of self-importance and excess, it's MarketWatch's Jon Friedman.
How many minutes before Col Allan assigns his enterprising news reporters to jump on the Sun-Times reporting scandal?
That Marketwatch's Jon Friedman beat them to it is, in itself, astounding, given that when Jon Friedman beats anyone to anything, the media is in for a day of shame.
So why would Col's New York Post be so interested in the way the Chicago Sun-Times bungled its Virginia Tech reporting? Because ex-Daily News foe Michael Cooke is now running the show over there. And, while there's no shoe fetish bit to make things interesting, the way he royally crapped on his newsprint is worth a look.
CONTINUED »
That break from Katie Couric plagiarism scandal sure was fun while it lasted! But there goes Jon Friedman, pulling us away from the Virgina Tech shootings to revisit the case of the ripped off Katie Couric's Notebook. And not only can Jon-Jon not leave well enough alone – that's, uh, sorta our job – he gets the whole "news anchor as a star" thing horribly wrong.
CONTINUED »
• The $50 million Imus franchise is in peril. Quick, someone get Michael Richards.
• Inside Cable News v. Eat the Press: The biggest non-feud of the week.
• Larry Birkhead hasn't collected his $5 million tell-all story (complete with photoshoot!) because, well, he's an indecisive shit.
• LAT finally gets around to covering its own backyard.
• MySpace and Photobucket – the photo sharing service you use to keep porn from your wife – are feuding.
• WNYC fete its new home at a breakfast this morning. Which meant A.M. hours. Which meant there wasn't a chance in hell of us hitting that.
CONTINUED »
Jon Friedman's brilliance is not in his message or his prose, but for the way he takes an idea that's been repeated, rehashed, and regurgitated countless times already and turns it into his own.
Ann Coulter, the raging right-wing author, has become the Paris Hilton of political coverage.
Even among her most rabid red-state fans, she has become a cartoon character — and journalists should treat her like one. [...]
But like Hilton, Coulter has become a punch line, reaching a point where she is famous for being famous and for doing stupid things.
Now if only the Associated Press could get its act together and instate a 16-hour ban on all things Coulter, all this controversy would die down just a smidge.
Marketwatch's Jon Friedman puts on his coherent cap for a few moments to chat with NYT exec editor Bill Keller who, 2.5 months after the 2006 elections, feels "a little vindication" for all the criticism he was facing. From bloggers, no less.
Instead, Keller is sticking his chest out a bit because his staff starred in reporting such crucial stories as the leaked memos by former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley and the administration's lack of progress in Afghanistan.
Also, his staff starred in reporting the calamities of porn in high-def. And that certainly deserves a billowed chest.
So, uh, maybe you heard that Maria Bartiromo is in the clear with CNBC brass after her Mile High Homewreckers Club rendezvous with Citibank's Todd Thomson — and that CNBC totally lost its cred with the decision? Well guess what? Jon Friedman was already thinking that!
CNBC showed bad judgment this week by putting the interests of its biggest star, Maria Bartiromo, over those of its viewers.
Another exclusive commentary coup for the Jon-Jon, ladies and gents. Though to be fair, at least he didn't wait a week to voice his feelings like he usually does. After everyone else has.
Jim Cramer is awesome — minus the TV theatrics
If Jon Friedman isn't playing listicle catch-up with his "Of The Year" awards, he's doting on James Cramer, the Mad Money host whose column in New York magazine is jerk-worth material for the Marketwatch scribe.
You know, the same James Cramer who's been subject to The Lou Dobbs Treatment for at least the past 12 months. Glad we've finally gotten around to noting that Cramer is, like, so totally rad.
Hey, y'all? Jon Friedman ain't having this Time Person of the Year shennaigans, ya heard? He's, like, pissed and stuff. Choosing you for its POTY was a "very unsatisfying choice" for Jon-Jon; the "ultimate cop-out."
Time has been widely ridiculed for seeming vague and wishy-washy. I'd agree that that the amorphous "You" doesn't really stand for anything. Time still comes out looking like a winner, though. It's getting a mountain of publicity, always a good thing in the media.
Oh, yeah, sorry about that. It's just we couldn't help taking another opportunity to talk about ourselves. It's not everyday we get put on the cover of a magazine inside one of those cute YouTube frames. But the next time a magazine chooses a cover in the hopes of publicity, we're totally not going to fall for it. Unless it's Brad Pitt on Vanity Fair. Or Leo, Will, and Jay-Z on GQ. Or Eva Longoria on Maxim. Or …
Editorial Director
