• In a bizarre, tape-recorded mental breakdown, Paula Abdul swears she's never been called a "whiny loser" before. We find this hard to believe.

• Lindsay Lohan stands to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars if she backs out of her Svedka Vodka sponsored 21st birthday party. When reached for comment, Dina Lohan yelled, "party foul!" and then did three lines of cocaine.

• Who would've guessed RZA and McSteamy are both Hillary Clinton supporters? Sadly for Hill, Method Man is still pulling for third-party candidate, Ralph Nader.

• Is hunky Josh Hartnett stepping out on his obviously real girlfriend, Penelope Cruz? Related: Hunk. Who still says that, anyway?

• Mischa Barton called her ex-boyfriend, Cisco "Hung Like A Donkey" Adler, while she was hospitalized for that antibiotics + binge-drinking incident.

• Jenna Jameson's weight loss is upsetting fans. That's fans, plural.

• Paris Hilton's attorney goes on yet another attack defending his client's genital health and pill intake.

• Tom Cruise's first move to resurrect goodwill of the public: play a Nazi.

• Larry Birkhead continues milking Anna Nicole story, to the tune of $650k in legal bills.

• Kevin Connolly and Haylie Duff get close enough on a red carpet to fuel rumors of them being together.

• Adding to earlier reports of a budding romance, we spotted Josh Hartnett and Penelope Cruz entering cheesesteak factory Wogie's in the West Village with a third, unidentified guest.

• While Nicole Richie is totally okay with licking a plate of cocaine on camera, she'd rather be hospitalized for dehydration than be filmed eating.

• Does Josh Hartnett enjoy bar brawls as much as he enjoys bar bathroom blow jobs?

• Note to Vince Vaughn: When you flirt with Paris Hilton, you're flirting with danger the possibility of contracting venereal diseases.

• Meanwhile, Paris and Nicole know they're in trouble when Courtney Love calls their professional qualifications into question.

• In more proof the world doesn't make sense, Kimora Lee Simmons is "dating" Djimon Hounsou and the best Cameron Diaz can do is PDA's with Tyrese.

• If Star Jones Reynolds is reprising her role as a lawyer, does that means Tracy Morgan gets to reprise his role as Tranny Star Jones?

• Brad Pitt proves he's a wee bit racist by congratulating a random Extra correspondent for Jennifer Hudson's Golden Globe.

• Could Lindsay Lohan's stint in rehab have been triggered by a brutal rebuff from the possibly gay James Franco?

• Alec Baldwin solicits Glamour's help in finding himself a date; Related: the 40-year-old Jane virgin has been "spamming" Alec Baldwin all morning.

• Sienna Miller/Josh Hartnett rumors abound. Don't worry, Josh—Sienna would never take issue with you eating in front of her…so long as you don't try and force-feed her while you're at it.

• Liza Minnelli to finalize her divorce from the alarmingly effeminate David Gest.

• Breaking: Britney Spears' "Fed Up" video is a fake! Brit hasn't found time in her busy, Jew-humping schedule to leak a shitty new pop-song onto the internet, y'all!

Earlier, we told you about Liev Schrieber's affinity for sex on the Staten Island Ferry. And now, we've just received word that Josh Hartnett has followed suit, scoring a bar bathroom threesome at a hipster hangout on the LES:

I was out last night with my friend in New York City. We went to the Lower East Side for drinks and to hangout. We started at this bar called Max Fish. Two of my girlfriends noticed that Josh Hartnet had arrived and proceeded to talk to him for a bit. He invited them to come meet him and some other friends at a small bar called Mamma’s. When we arrived the star struck girls could see Josh over in the corner - but he was surrounded by another group of girls. My friend had to go to the bathroom and there was a small line. The guy in front of her mentioned that there were 2 girls in the bathroom and just then Hartnet walked right in. He was pissed (not knowing it was Josh, but he was mad because he obviously knew this would take a while). After a considerable amount of time - the pissed off guy walked up to the door and yanked it open - only to expose to the bar Josh Hartnet recieving a big sloppy blowjob from one of the two girls who was down on her knees. It was difficult to see what the other girl was doing because he shut the door so quickly.

And really, who can blame the guy? After two years of being shackled to girlfriend Scarlett "Don't Eat In Front of Me" Johansson, it's about time Josh got sick and tired of playing second fiddle to Woody Allen.

• Guy Ritchie says one black baby is enough.

• Scratch that report that Scarlett Johansson is back together with Josh Hartnett. Actually, she's just slutting around with him.

• Renee Zellweger is suddenly quite the man.

• Hilary Duff supposedly isn't too fond of ex-boyfriend Joel Madden's new girl Nicole Richie. But, uh, who would be?

• No, Kirsten Dunst, there is no such thing as privacy in these parts.

• Judith Regan calling Jews "rodents?" Pish, posh.

• Ludacris was at Michael's. With Kate White.

• Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson refuse to let Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee retain title as most on-again-off-again couple

• Miami nightlife king and old Madonna pal Chris Paciello returns from 8 years in the slammer to pick up where he left off — in L.A.

• Nas opts for album title Michael Richards won't understand.

• Reichen Lehmkuhl turns his attention away from defending his relationship with Lance Bass and toward attacking celeb blogger Perez Hilton.

• When their powers combine, they are Captain Hollywood.

Sorry, guys. We know this is from yesterday, and it's way too late now, but Curbed.com ran an announcement from Josh Harnett asking his downtown dwelling fans to please let him crash in their pad for a few hours.

Well, just for a photo shoot.

It should be a lower east side/coney island-looking place… not too nice, a bit funky perhaps… but not a crack den either. pays $500. kitchen, bedroom, living-room. thing is - we'd need to see some pix of your place like today. Sorry for the late notice.

Well, we're sorry for the late notice as well. But, we bet whoever the lucky funky non-crack-dwelling downtowner who gets to open his or her home to Josh will have to wait in the bathroom while they shoot. And Josh will probably steal all his/her hidden crack. So, really, you're not missing much. (P.S. Who's apartment looks like Coney Island? Ew.)

Josh Hartnett in Your LES/Coney Island-Looking Apt. [Curbed]

• Josh Hartnett would rather his little sister grow up and take her clothes off than look up to Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]

• Kid Rock isn't kidding himself — he knows his looks haven't gotten him anywhere. [Page Six]

• The world welcomes yet another potential coked out prep school rich kid with the birth of baby boy Trump. [People]

• Why does Paris Hilton care if Stavros Niarchos is speaking Greek to his friends? It's not like she understands when people have conversations in English. [MSNBC]

• Natalie Portman has every reason to dance around like a spaz. Even though Vanity Fair pulled her cover, people went to see V for Vandetta. [Hollywood Reporter]

Want to know about all the free junk celebrities get when they travel to Park City Utah for Sundance Film Festival? Well, we don't care either, but we needed a break from media babble for a minute. Plus, this just gives us more ammo to hate celebs with.

All the freebies, plus, Jennifer Aniston's insight on why she can still show up for work when things are crappy, after the jump.

Before you go, though, the east coast tethered Jossip editors obtained some our own Sundance scoop.

While his PR reps wouldn't return calls, we hear that NYU student lovin' Josh Hartnett pulled out of a movie which was being filmed in New Orleans.

Allegedly, the Wicker Park star was supposed to have final say on a script, and at the last minute, totally bailed, telling producers, "I'm not going to be in the movie. I'm going to Sundance." Then, J-Hart jetted off to join his girlfriend Scarlett Johansson in Park City, where they probably got some free crap, too.

Oh, well, good news for the rest of us who won't have to watch him and his skeevy mustache make yet another shitty movie.

Now, go forth celeb hounds, and live vicariously through Lucy Lui and her multiple BlackBerries.

CONTINUED »

• Despite rumors and speculation, the Dick Clark who hosted New Year's Rockin' Eve was actually him, and not a photoshopped image. [TMZ]

• Now that Scarlett Johanson and Josh Hartnett are living together, their open relationshp, filled with orgys and threesomes, can continue to blossom. [Page Six]

• We don't which is more ridiculous — Tom Ford's temper tantrums, or a VF staffer calling Graydon Carter conservative. [Page Six]

• Brad Renfro hasn't been in a movie in like, 10 years, so his publicist had to think of something to get people talking. [E!]

• Canadians are so multi-talented. Avril Levigne is acting now, and she doesn't even have a famous sibling. [Egotastic]

In the spirit of the holidays, our boss is letting us un-chain ourselves from our computers so that we can see sunlight and attend to the carpal tunnel syndrome that has begun to develop in our limbs. All in the name of serving you, of course! We will be back in action on December 27th, bringing you the much anticipated "2005 Jossy Awards" along with (hopefully) lots of other holiday party gossip. Ok, enough of the logistics. Here's more of the stuff you read this site for:

• It's nice to know that Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett have such an open relationship. [Defamer]

• Lindsay Lohan's hair will fall out if she keeps dying it. Make-over solution? Get some fake glasses. [People]

• Nicole Richie update: When people who wish she were dead are trying to keep her alive, maybe it's time to eat something. [Star]

• Tried as it may have, 2005 did not spawn any new musical trends. Except for the one where celebrities who can't sing at all make records. And that trend just sucked. [NYDN]

• Because they just wouldn't stop e-mailing us about it, here you go: Tabloid Baby named Anderson Cooper person of the year. [Tabloid Baby ]

Happy Holidays! And because we are going to be passed out on the floor for the next week, don't forget to send us all of your juicy festivus gossip: tattle@jossip.com

• Richie Rich found himself in trouble with Henri Bendel security when the store's alarm sounded as he tried leaving his own launch party Tuesday night. He needed to change shirts after spilling ice cream on his own and grabbed a Heatherette design off the tracks for a quick costume switch.

• American Media's National Enquirer may have to issue a retraction of its Demi Moore "miscarriage" retraction. Sources close to the actress say she's indeed still pregnant, which may be why Star ended up killing its own retraction.

• Colin Farrell's shorts will stay on a little longer now that a judge agreed to extend the temporary injunction on Nicole Narain who's trying to sell their sex tape.

• Kimora Lee Simmons will be able to have last year's drug possession charges dropped if she completes her six months of probation for a traffic violation without incident.

• Josh Hartnett may have beat Tom Cruise to the faux celebrity relationship punch. Nip/Tuck's Kelly Carlson tells Stuff magazine the duo invented a fake relationship for Teen People years ago.

• American Morning is jumping up to CNN's newsroom at the Time Warner Center, leaving behind its street-level studio — and all the fans who line up in the wee hours of the morning to get a glimpse of Soledad O'Brien.

• Rosario Dawson is attracting some angry neighbors inside her downtown Manhattan apartment building. They're peeved the millionaire actress has set up shop inside the low income building, but it's where she grew up.