This week's theme from Correspondent Wendy: Ickiness. Glenn Beck's butt, K-Fed's "magic wand," and Keith Olbermann's code word for intimate moments. It's enough to make one correspondent hurl.

CONTINUED »

2007 will be remembered as a year of dramatic contradictions. President Bush gets advice torrent of advice to leave Iraq, and decides instead to digs us in deeper. Bush sees his popularity plummet, while Al Gore wins an Oscar and a Noble Peace prize.

2007, also a year of scandal, from locked up Paris Hilton, to lock out Alberto Gonzales, as in never let him near the Justice Department ever again.

The year where Larry Craig’s toe-tap made headlines around the world. A scandal with such international import that German TV, the Germans were calling us to play our Larry Craig Dragnet spoof on their newscasts.

That’s what says it all about this bizarre year. The fine line between news and noise that Countdown tries to blow through happily every night. It is our solemn duty to make sense of the major stories of the day, we also our cherish covenant with each viewer to bring you the silliest crap we can find.

-Keith Olbermann on Countdown last night, explaining the importance of his job.

How do moderators for presidential debates get picked? MSNBC has used official Bush-hater Keith Olbermann and Fox News used unofficial Bush lover Brit Hume for the Democratic and Republican debates they hosted. For Tuesday’s debate, MSNBC went with neutral guys, Brian Williams and Tim Russert. What does it take to be assigned to ask Dennis Kucinich about alien sightings anyway?

Keith Olbermann may be MSNBC's shining star – the shining star that network GNM Dan Abrams takes credit for – but he's also the source for their biggest headaches. The higher ups obviously thought having Keith host their Republican debate coverage would be a great idea for ratings. And it was: While Fox News won Thursday evening's overall ratings, MSNBC's 1.76 million was a win for The Peacock. But perhaps what they didn't expect is the same backlash Fox News receives when it lets Brit Hume anchor a newscast: Why the hell is the most infamous liberal show host anchoring what should be objective coverage of the Republican presidential debate?

Phil Griffin, NBC News senior VP, claims it's a non-issue (just like when Chris Matthews does it), since Keith "can tell when it's appropriate to express himself in a commentary and when to be a journalist." But what was the adage we learned in j-school again? No, not the one about sleeping with your media ethics professor to score a pass. It was: Even the perception of a conflict of interest is inappropriate.

Also inappropriate, argue some: Keith's treatment of Rudy Giuliani.

CONTINUED »

We often wonder how Ryan Seacrest has any time to sleep or carry on his hetero charade between hosting his morning radio show, fulfilling his duties as the E! News managing editor and on-air talent, plus hosting American Idol. Now we're adding Keith Olbermann to that list of overzealous multi-taskers.

The Countdown host, who just re-upped with MSNBC for $4 million, also co-hosts an ESPON radio show — and is now joining NBC's Football Night in America as a co-host, along with Bob Costas and analysts Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Cris Collinsworth. It'll be the run-up show to Sunday Night Football, where the anchors will analyze who's likely to throw the most passing yards and whether President Bush should pull out of Iraq.

Keith Olbermann has MSNBC in an interesting position. While his Nielsen numbers are the best thing Seacaucus has seen, like, ever, he's still not clocking Bill O'Reilly's numbers. But that's not keeping the Counterdowner from requesting a huge salary spike: from $1 million to $4 million per year. Psshaw, Olbermann says, to the fact that NBC is looking to cut costs and would have to get rid of something like 480 production assistants that don't even exist to cover his pay raise.

And what, then, will he be asking for if he does start hitting the numbers Bill-O nabs? Probably something outrageous, like his own show.

• The guy behind the white powder envelopes that caused Keith Olbermann, among others, to freak out has been indicted.

• Today show clocks 11th consecutive year as the morning leader.

• Fox bets on Salma Hayek to repeat Ugly Betty's success.

• A how-to guide on how to write for Radar. The "not get paid" part is self-explanatory.

• Print out those resumes and sharpen those business cards, because magazine holiday parties are the place to network.

• Remember when TVNewser prided itself on not spreading salacious gossip? Turns out there's a fine line between rumor mongering and warning of imminent disaster.

• Glad we've got a timeline in place for calling Augusten Burroughs the next James Frey.

• Liz Spiers launching blog aimed at the jet setting CEO/FO/OO crowd. Also, a new blog for pot smokers.

What's rewarding about reading Tyler Gray's interview with Counterdowner Keith Olbermann is not any particularly new insights into the MSNBC host's feud with Bill O'Reilly or his appropriate reaction to rumors about his bedroom proclivities mentioned in Page Six (though first relayed to you on Jossip). It's Keith's reaction to questions about Dan Abrams, MSNBC's general manager. While Dan readily dishes to the press about the network's relatively lone shining star (and you can bet Chris Matthews just furrowed his brow when reading that), the evidence mounts that this twosome doesn't maintain the most cordial of relationships.

CONTINUED »

• Good Morning America is once again biting at the heels of Today.

• After canceling the O.J. Simpson special, it doesn't make much sense for Fox to have reality programming chief Mike Darnell sit on a National Association of Television Programming Executives panel in January.

• Fox News bestows Keith Olbermann the high esteem of "Turkey of the Year." But we all know how Decemeber superlatives turn out.

• U.S. Supreme Court says NYT must hand over phone records of two reporters. Not so interested in their YouTube clip viewing data.

• The deets on MSNBC anchor Alison Stewart's wedding to the network's primetime programming VP Bill Wolff make no mention whether guest Tucker Carlson spent the night Dancing.

• First CNN Pipeline asks you to cough up the bucks for exclusive video. Now CNBC Plus wants to charge you a monthly fee to watch the network — right on your desktop!

• BlackBook editor Steve Gabarino is exactly what you'd expect when you hear the term "microeditor."

• Anderson Cooper interviews Dan Rather-not and Walter Cranky. Ratings slide. [TVN]

• The rules of the New York Marathon are simple: Do not talk about the New York Marathon. Especially when it comes to runners rounding out mile 20 with crap on their legs. [DI]

• Chelsea Clinton gets a fancy new high-paying job that certainly had no bearing on her last name. [NYDN]

• Dubbers are people, too. They're just not real actors. [Guardian]

• SNL's biggest talent Maya Rudolph faces off with her landlord in a $450k bed bugs lawsuit. Look for the skit, coming in February. [AP]

• Keith Olbermann owes his soapbox career to Bill O'Reilly. [M J-S]

Dan Abrams must be the most surprised: Ratings for his little cable news network MSNBC (which he took the reigns of just a few months ago) are, shockingly, on the rise. After a serial spat of lagging behind FNC and CNN, MSNBC is seeing huge spikes in its numbers — especially the 25-54 demograhpic, where double digit gains are all the rage. And depending on how you spin the numbers (which demographic; gains vs. the compeition), the likes of Keith Olbermann, Joe Scarborough, and Chris Matthews have all seen their viewership climb.

Thank god, then, that NBC Universal has all but let the ax fall on MSNBC, forcing it to 30 Rock, slashing its staff in a merge with NBC News proper, and moving ahead with plans to drop most live daytime news coverage and go with more documetary programming. If it ain't broke, fuck it up.

• Keith Olbermann's online provocateur KarmaBites1 claims she'll unload another 100 or so emails between her and the MSNBC host, all because he won't publicly acknowledge he's like any other guy: quite complacent with a one night stand. [P6]

• Culture + Travel owner Louise MacBain visits the New York offices of LTB Media. For the first time. [NYP]

• Dan Bova pogos from exec editor to EIC at Stuff, replacing Maxim jumper Jimmy Jellinek — and, perhaps, some of his staffers? [FBNY]

• Victoria Hearst is fingered as the nut who left the creepy religious message at the Hearst Tower dedication. How do you know she's crazy? She's anti-Cosmo. [WWD]

• Time Warner stock moves .. upward. Jon Friedman wets self. [Marketwatch]

• Tom Freston and Peter Chernin are smart men. Smart enough to let someone else write their jokes. [Radar]

• Believing a Harvard Crimson columnist would lift an item from Slate would requires two sets of beliefs: 1) Harvard enlists fucktards; 2) Slate publishes worthwhile material. Okay, not such a hard conclusion. [Boston Globe]

The following joke needs no explanation:

A "law-enforcement-sensitive" information alert on terrorist activity stamped repeatedly "Do NOT release to the public or media" was sent out Monday to pretty much every media organization in Southern Arizona.

We love when that happens. Though, next time, we'd prefer it if somebody sent us Keith Olbermann's secret love letters.

Errant e-mail puts Sheriff's Dept. secrets in media's lap [Arizona Star via Romenesko]

Every day is a good day for quoting the talking heads that be, even if Anderson Cooper is all the way over in the Middle East trying to keep all humor out of his nightly reports. Intern Wendy listened to hours upon hours of chow chow just to pull this exhilarating quotes from across the networks, just for you. In this edition, Keith Olbermann manages to say something without putting on a mask or giving a "heil" sign, and Tucker Carlson just can't stop making a fool out of himself.

• “With each passing day, the terrible reality becomes more and more likely that the fragile little two-faced kitty who captivated a nation may have finally used up all of his 18 lives. Stay tuned to Nancy Grace for nightly updates.” —Keith Olbermann, finding a story worth of Nancy Grace’s talents, Countdown, July 20

• “Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I‘m naked. Look at me.” —Joe Scarborough, channeling Britney Spears, Scarborough Country, July 20

• “Where is everybody?” —Tucker Carlson, baffled the Israelis aren’t outside enjoying the bomb shower, Tucker, July 21

• “I think the balloon, there‘s no question the balloon is up and it‘s interesting, a lot of this you learn by tone.” —We have no idea what Tucker Carlson is talking about, Hardball, July 21

• "Apparently, some locals didn‘t care for our coverage or the idea of the media in general and started harassing me during my show about an hour ago, went up and urinated on our gear, for one thing, and threatened us.” —Tucker Carlson, literally pissing people off, Scarborough Country, July 21

• “I mean, I can`t help but ask you, because I`m a freak. I`m sorry, but I`m a freak.” —Glenn Beck, getting his freak on, Glenn Beck, July 21