Conservatives are scared to be themselves in Hollywood, America. Shockingly, the city by the sea, a liberal den of drugs, booze, loose women, Jews, gays and Will Smith, SHUNS YOU if you're Republican.
Why are you doing this to Kelsey Grammer, haters!? Is it because his Republican party famously slashes with glee funding for both the NEA and PBS? Is it because conservative groups like the Parents Television Council do their best to censor the hard work of writers, producers and actors? NO!!!! It's because Republicans are different, and liberals hate anyone different from them.
After the jump, let's listen to some famous conservatives moan about not being invited to join in any of the reindeer games.
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Remember when Dennis Hopper used to be edgy? When every word out of his mouth was an eff-bomb, but it was hard to notice because he was always so tweaked out? From Easy Rider to Apocalypse Now to his epic failure The Last Movie, Hopper was a counter-culture icon in the 60s and 70s, and has come to represent a whole generation of bad-assery since then. Then he teamed up with Kelsey Grammer to ruin movies about America. CONTINUED »
• One-legged philanthropist Heather Mills rejects Paul McCartney's paltry $41 million divorce settlement offer, but agrees to put 'all this pettiness aside' for the nominal fee of $102 million.
• In the philosophizing words of Cisco Adler, a pseudo rock star who has very strange-looking genitals, "I tend to find myself dating famous women sometimes. I just write dope songs and [bleep] hot bitches." Such is life.
• Kate Hudson "[bleeps] with the media" by only pretending to date a shirtless comedian, whose nose has never been broken and then pieced back together by a semi-drunk plastic surgeon.
• Steve Martin will finally marry his longtime girlfriend, former New Yorker writer Anne Stringfield, after rationalizing that she's a hell of a lot better than his ex-girlfriend, full-time crazy-person, Anne Heche.
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