BABY BEAT Thanks to Djimon Hounsou's seed, Kimora Lee Simmons is pregnant with a new opportunity to exploit a wee one for a Baby Phat ad. [P6]
• Do not hang out with Dori Cooperman unless you want to end up with a botched lypo job, coke in your pants or a Range Rover that runs people over.
• Angelina Jolie is reportedly depressed that her black-facey impression of Mariane Pearl was a box office flop.
• Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow are getting back together…for some boring political drama that you probably won't bother to go see.
• There's something kind of awesome about the Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons family reunions. Typically, it's the "I'm too old to pretend I ever loved this giant, giraffe of a woman" expression on Russell's face.
• Sumner Redstone is being sued by his son, Michael and is currently feuding with his daughter, Shari, but his brother Edward is totally not crazy at all.
• Congratulations to Kelly Rowland, who has finally learned to begrudgingly accept the color of her skin.
• Apparently, naming your kid "Jermajesty" isn't normal even if your name is Jermaine Jackson. [via Us]
• Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking go and and buy Harry Potterl! Shomer shabbos!
• After a somewhat disappointing debut, Portfolio's hotly anticipated second issue will sport what some are calling "a redesign," and what a spokeswoman is calling "tinkering."
• Most people would be embarrassed to admit they actually work for Cosmo. But not this guy!
• Kimora Lee Simmons wastes no time making sure viewers of her new reality show, Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, clearly understand that she's a washed-up closet case with an over-inflated ego. "I've had billboards; that's my life," she says, matter-of-factly.
• Oprah becomes the newest Obama girl, raising money for the presidential wannabe because, as she explains, "I like my men like I like my coffee."
• Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney shows he's a team player.
• HuffPo names its "exciting new citizen journalism" project "Off The Bus." Now, everybody rejoice.
• Old people no longer have the time, energy or brute strength to pick up the Sunday Times.
• Meanwhile, 80% of male internet users aged 18-24 watch online videos at least once a week. 75% of the time, the video in question is either "porn or else some guy getting kicked in the balls."
• And it's time for both sides to begin their closing arguments in the Conrad Black trial. Black's attorneys expected to describe an acquittal as "a sound investment—I mean, 'verdict'" and then wink knowingly at the jury.
Part-time spouses Russell and Kimora Simmons are pissed at In Touch. They even told a New York State Supreme Court how unhappy they are with the Bauer tabloid, relays Stereohyped. But in an unusual twist when it comes to celebrities and their accusations of libel, it's not clear what they're so ornery about. CONTINUED »
Kimora Debuts This Summer. Reports From Angry Grips to Follow.
• Star Jones allowed back on television, but only in a role she's practiced.
• Maybe they're moving to the Dakota, maybe they're not — but TomKat won't be separated in Shreveport, La.
• Former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minillo will help The Donald choose the next crackwhore named Miss USA.
• Russell Simmons is A-OK with Djimon Hounsou having sloppy Kimora seconds.
• Matthew McConaughey has been showing off his V on the beach all for a movie role.
• Barack Obama walked into a room.
• Hollywood, circa 2037 … is gross.
CONTINUED »
• Producers of I Think I Love My Wife wisely encourage Chris Rock not to dump his spouse until after the film's release.
• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou made out all night at Boulevard 3; other restaurant goers suddenly lose their appetites.
• Is John Mayer dating Jessica Simpson because she's just a dumb blond?
• Paris Hilton faces the possibility of 90-days in jail for driving with a suspended license. Naturally, she won't actually get any jail time because she's very, very rich.
• Pete Doherty is living in sin with Kate Moss and smoking doobies with penguins.
• Someone stole Cate Blanchett's $100,000 handbag before the Oscars, which would have been far more interesting had she actually won.
You gotta love PR reps and their obligatory post-incident denials.
Kimora Lee Simmons went lip-to-lip with a gorgeous blond woman at Cipriani Upstairs Thursday.
The mystery kisser, who'd been hanging with Simmons at her table all evening, got up on the bar for a dirty dance as the 6-foot stunner shimmied in front of her. Blondie then gave Simmons an eyebrow-raising smooch. A rep for the Baby Phat designer, who was no doubt excited about her show at the tents the next day, says it was "a friendly kiss hello to a party guest."
Yes, because in Publicist Land, a "friendly kiss hello" is defined as "a drunken makeout session with a chick you've been throwing lusty, lesbian glances at all evening."
• Jim Schachter is there to help New York Times magazine with their "growing pains." We wonder if he's just as dreamy as Kirk Cameron? [Gawker]
• Sarah Ivens explains that she is "priceless." In other words, it's embarrassing how little OK! is paying her. [NYP]
• MySpace takes down 200,000 "offensive sites." We're so glad Colin Farrell is my Bitch wasn't a victim of this. [FT]
• It's true … but not that sad. Kimora Lee Simmons and and Russell Simmons are officially a non-item. [People]
• The Villager always does such a good job reporting on what the NYU newspaper is reporting on. [The Viilager]
• Miuccia Prada to design for H&M? Start preparing for full-contact shopping. [Vogue]
• Madonna reinvents herself yet again. This time, she goes for the "clown" image, which is probably the only look she can actually pull off at this point. [Sun]
• Tom Cruise says that (unlike when he knocked her up) at the birth of Katie Holmes' baby, there will no screaming and no drugs. [Us Weekly]
• Facebook is on the block, but you can't stick that high of a price tag on a site that will never live up to wonder that is MySpace. [Business Week]
• Kevin Federline keeps sucking out all Britney Spears' money, and now, she might die. Well, she couldn't pay her bodyguards, and y'all know somebody's got to want to kill her. [TMZ]
• Rumors of Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons' split are tied to Russell's new yoga lovin' girlfriend Denise Vasi. Who would have thought Jivamukti Yoga Center could contribute to the destruction of a marriage? [Gatecrasher]
• Everyone, please start referring to Raffaello Follieri as Ann Hathaway’s boyfriend. [NYT]
• Heeel no! Whitney Houston prego? Um, can y'all say crack baby? [The Scoop]
• Since paying off the kids didn't really work out, Gary Glitter is back in Vietnam, and pleading innocent to charges of child molestation. Because, when you pay people to shut their mouths, it's usually because you did nothing wrong, right? [MSNBC]
• Lli' Kim just thought of the best get out of jail free card. Her boobs are going to explode. [Lowdown]
• Is Kimora Lee Simmons for real? No, seriously. A Louis Vuitton car — where's Oprah when you need her? [A Socialite's Life]
• Reese Witherspoon walks the line of $29 million, right up to the ATM. [NYDN]
• Guess what Paris Hilton thinks of her new album? We'd tell you, but the phrase makes us want to pull out all our hair and run screaming down the street. [Scoop]
• Oh, and PETA threw a bunch of flour on her, too. [BBC]
• Sean Lennon spends the night with his make-up artist, "out of necessity." That necessity being "he needed to get laid." [Page Six]
• Nobody wants to live in any space previously occupied by Kimora Lee Simmons. [NYO]
• People are fighting over the rights to the stupidest joke ever? Dare we say we think Lloyd Grove's punchlines are funnier that that damn Outback commercial? [Lowdown]
We had a Bryant Park Roving Reporter For All Things Skinny Beyond Medical Safety planted at yesterday's Child magazine children's fashion show in the tents, where earlier reports already tipped off which fame-seeking parents agreed to parade around their kids pageant-style in the name of fashion.
Dina Lohan signed up Lindsay's siblings Aliana and Dakota. 50 Cent offered up offspring Marquise Jackson. And, of course, it wouldn't be a child labor ring without Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons' kids, Ming Lee and Aoki Lee.
Our BPRRFATSBMS reports Ming Lee and Aoki Lee – just like their Baby Phat ads – had the "plastered on smiles" that should really initiate some interest from the Department of Children and Family Services. Marquise Jackson, meanwhile, owned the show with his runway walk. And Aliana and Dakota? They seemed to have been lost among the 50 other models, most of which weren't big names (that is, little names with big last names).
In the end, the person we're happiest for is Child editor Miriam Arond, who's desperate to land one foot in the fashion world now that Cookie is stealing her readership. Unfortunately, Roberta Myers is on the other side of the door, leaning against it. She ain't having it.
Earlier: Fashion for the wild 'Child'
• Why can't Jack Shafer and Martin Peretz just play nice? [Slate]
• Really, those boys better bury the hatchet — or they're going to end up like Walter Cronkite and Alan Abel. [Page Six]
• A newbie joins Jann Wenner's staff. Here's to hoping he knows how to organize his pencils just so. [Revolving Door]
• So, Michael Leeden thinks Osama Bin Laden is dead, and nobody noticed but Wonkette? [NRO, Wonkette]
• What is fabulosity? Even better, who freakin' cares? [Kirkus Reviews]
• David Pecker did more than pay off Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress Gigi Goyette — he also tried to pay to keep a 1983 Playboy tape featuring the governator out of circulation. Two-thousand dollars later, the tape is still available online.
• Kathy Griffin claims that Star Jones Reynolds tried to put a "hit" on her. Namely, that Star tried lobbying E! to include a a contract clause saying the self-proclaimed “D†lister, her family and friends couldn't say anything derogatory about the former Bridezilla. Guess she'll be tossing all her Payless shoes, too.
• Michael Jackson is back doing what he does best: scaring kids (only this time he's hiding his entire body). Well, sort of, since parents and their offspring could see most of its tiny portions through the white Lycra suit he wore at Dubai's Wild Wadi park when he rented it out for families.
• Hurricane Kimora! At least that's what it felt like at the Fashion Rocks for Baby Phat event at Radio City Music Hall last Thursday. Ms. Simmons was screaming at staffers and throwing tantrums. And we wouldn't have her any other way.
• "Gay American" ex-Jersey governor Jim McGreevey is enjoying his newfound out of the closet freedom. He spent Sunday night dining at Maroons in Chelsea with – what else? – a muscle-bound Chelsea boy.
• So where was Prada-wearing devil Anna Wintour on Sunday night? Busted on national TV at the Roger Federer/Andre Agassi U.S. Open tennis finals. She was supposed to be at Diane Von Furstenberg’s Sunday show, where the lights literally coming down on the front row. No doubt her PETA detractors were as disappointed over her absence as DVF herself.
• If you take anything away from Fashion Week, let it be Damon Dash's smart observances: "People are really famous for being famous these days." Really?
• Richie Rich found himself in trouble with Henri Bendel security when the store's alarm sounded as he tried leaving his own launch party Tuesday night. He needed to change shirts after spilling ice cream on his own and grabbed a Heatherette design off the tracks for a quick costume switch.
• American Media's National Enquirer may have to issue a retraction of its Demi Moore "miscarriage" retraction. Sources close to the actress say she's indeed still pregnant, which may be why Star ended up killing its own retraction.
• Colin Farrell's shorts will stay on a little longer now that a judge agreed to extend the temporary injunction on Nicole Narain who's trying to sell their sex tape.
• Kimora Lee Simmons will be able to have last year's drug possession charges dropped if she completes her six months of probation for a traffic violation without incident.
• Josh Hartnett may have beat Tom Cruise to the faux celebrity relationship punch. Nip/Tuck's Kelly Carlson tells Stuff magazine the duo invented a fake relationship for Teen People years ago.
• American Morning is jumping up to CNN's newsroom at the Time Warner Center, leaving behind its street-level studio — and all the fans who line up in the wee hours of the morning to get a glimpse of Soledad O'Brien.
• Rosario Dawson is attracting some angry neighbors inside her downtown Manhattan apartment building. They're peeved the millionaire actress has set up shop inside the low income building, but it's where she grew up.
Editorial Director
