Oprah's Big Give isn't even hitting 10 million viewers. Kirstie Alley's last TV project Fat Actress, while wonderful, was canceled by Showtime. So don't these two celebs look like two yo-yo dieters in a pod?

They're teaming for future TV projects in a deal that could put Alley on Oprah's new OWN channel with a daily slot.

And while Oprah's cable syndication prowess hasn't been tested, her Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray deals have gone on to become huge successes. (Well, some might argue otherwise.)

Alley, of course, strutted her Jenny Craig-branded bikini-clad slimmer body on Oprah after losing 75 pounds. To drum up publicity for her new show, she's gained it all back.

• OMG! Harry Potter is hitting it with Hermione. If J.K. Rowling were dead, she'd be rolling over in her grave. Since she's alive, she's probably pleased with any extra DVD sales that result from the romance.

• Gene Simmons has a sex tape. We're only surprised this didn't surface earlier.

• Jessica Simpson doesn't want to become the next Kirstie Alley, and is consequently being sued for $10 million.

• Speaking of Simpsons, Joe Simpson wants Tony Romo to become the next Nick Lachey. Not a good call, man.

• Britney Spears needs the anti-depressants that help people remember to wear underwear.

• Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon growing fame makes us feel old.

• Kirstie Alley is going to launch her own weight-loss brand. Insert joke about fat women here.

• The new Dancing With The Stars "stars" leave some wattage to be desired.

• The Baltimore Sun will launch a youth aimed tabloid. Because that's just that city needs: More trash.

• "Who stuffs Armani better?," a Queerty poll.

• The audacity of hope sneezes: Barack Obama has a cold.

• Martha Stewart takes over Emeril Lagasse. The people in PR will have to figure out how to incorporate "Bam!" with "a good thing" without getting vulgar.

• Kirstie Alley is “stepping down” as the spokesperson for Jenny Craig. Fatties are so self-hating.

• Based on her topless photo spread, rumors that Lindsay Lohan had breast implants were false.

• Okay, Elisha Cuthbert, this is the last time we're writing about you until you make out with another chick. Going to first base with Paris Hilton only takes you so far.

• That's cute: Spencer Pratt thinks he important enough to have a feud with Madonna.

• Ah! Our boss man is coming back from Amsterdam.

• Girl kisses, the Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson edition.

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In the most shocking betrayal since TrimSpa's late spokesperson Anna Nicole Smith was posthumously found to have a refrigerator containing yogurt, prescription drugs and Ultra Slim Fast, the eponymous star of Fat Actress was seen accepting a Costco delivery [Ed: Costco delivers??] of Kirkland diet shakes.

All of which would be infinitely more scandalous if only Kirstie were actually thin to begin with. [Celebrity Babylon via DListed]

• Kirstie Alley ditches Jenny Craig in favor of her good friend, General Tso.

• Despite the easy one-liners suggesting otherwise, anorexic crooner Amy Winehouse has, as ASL puts it, "retained the integrity of her hit song."

• Paris Hilton shows us she's not the drug-free, spiritually awakened being that no one thought she was.

• Meanwhile, should we be worried that Nicole Richie's "maternity wear" is pretty much the equivalent of our "skinny jeans?"

• Apparently, Zac Efron isn't anywhere near ready for a commitment with his pretend-girlfriend.

• J.Lo gets a little extra support.

• Heather Graham's got chills. They're multiplying.

• People's exclusives are still beating Us Weekly's. [People]

• Finally, somebody said it. Tom Cruise = agent of Satan. [The Scoop]

• Won't somebody stop taking pictures and get Mischa Barton a tampon?! [JJB]

• Jessica Simpson is investing in artwork she understands: drawings of stick figures. [Page Six]

• According to Kirstie Alley, Scientology can do anything for you … except help you lose weight. [Rush & Molloy]

• Madonna's been defending hubby Guy Ritchie after the press hammered his latest flic Revolver, but she had to do even more on the red carpet at the UK premiere. Fans booed and hissed at the entertainment power couple, but only because the press started it.

• Chanel will be keeping Kate Moss on as their Coco Mademoiselle fragrance face through October but will not renew her contract when it expires. Their PR spin, of course, insists their decision had nothing to do with her recent cocaine cavoriting.

• Olivia Newton John's nephew is claiming his aunt split with missing boyfriend Patrick McDermott several months ago because of his excessive drinking. As for his disappearance, nephew John thinks he probably fell off the boat drunk.

• At last night's taping of Premiere's Women in Film event, Charlize Theron was on hand to (literally) kiss Shirley MacLaine's ass.

• Kirstie Alley's 50-pound weight loss finds her just 30 pounds away from her goal weight, though we're not sure whether that's good or bad news for Showtime execs yet to announce whether they'll renew Fat Actress.