• Demi Moore continues to look great in seemingly unflattering poses on the cover of magazines that start with "V."

• There's a story about Kristin Cavallari removing her tattoo of her ex-bf's initials. But the real story is that there is a story about Kristin Cavallari. We're predicting she'll be on The Hills next season for Stephen-LC-Kristin love triangle renaissance.

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• You know what's even worse than doing time in L.A. County prison? Having everyone in the world find out that you used to bang Jack Osbourne. While sober. Before he got thin.

• The sands of time have not been kind to Steven Tyler. Or his man-boobs.

• Kristin Cavallari shows up to the Yellow premiere wearing a dress made of holiday wrapping paper. Don't laugh, it's totally happened to you.

• Fergie scandalously flashes her clothed ass at the MuchMusic awards. Remind us exactly what Josh Duhamel sees in this woman?

• Hayden Panettierre pulls a Greg Brady, gets frisky with her television parental unit.

• In case you were wondering, Star Jones isn't interested in taking Rosie's place on The View. Because Barbara Walters would never, ever let that happen she already has a job.

• The jury is still out as to which part of Britney Spears' extremely flattering outfit is the "absolute sexiest."

• Here's a look at Eddie Murphy in the hot tub. Which is somewhat ironic, seeing as his career is currently in the toilet.

• Lindsay Lohan parties with Us Weekly! Related: Next issue of Us Weekly to feature cover-story on Lohan's hard-partying ways!

• Kristin Cavallari: she's sooo transparent.

• Fred Durst to give the American public that Limp Bizkit reunion nobody asked for.

• Donatella Versace is like putty in your hands.

• Who wears high-waisted short shorts? Mischa Barton wears high-waisted short shorts!

• Cameron Diaz is already training for her next role: Pimple Popper M.D.

• Kristin Cavallari is overhyped, overpriced and overexposed.

• Former Us Weekly reporter/pedophile Tim McDarrah gets sentenced to six years in the clink.

• Meryl Streep to team up with Philip Seymour Hoffman's double-chin for movie adaptation of Doubt.

Did you hear? Apparently Kristin Cavallari wants clubowners to shell out for the supreme honor of hosting her and her trashy-chic Laguna Beach friends!

And, really, with a receeding hairline like that, who wouldn't pay to see her??

• Kristen Cavallari of Laguna Beach is in, Lindsay Lohan is out. Just ask the presidents of cool over at the Washington Post [WaPo]

• Was your NYE in NYC a total bust? Star magazine proves you're not alone. Celebs worth seeing hate it here, too. [Star]

• A great many people share the honorable birthday of January 1st, including the first two babies born in New York City in 2006. [NYP]

• Nobody besides Matt Drudge is talking about Michael Moore's new movie Sicko (including Michael Moore). Oh, we're onto you, Drudgie. [Variety, Drudge Report]

• Even though she's a racist bliatch, Eva Longoria's boyfriend wants to marry her. Says the Enquirer. [National Enquirer]

• After making up some story about knowing Jack Nicholson, Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler flee Aspen in a state of shame. [Rush & Molloy]

• Oh no he didn't. Trying to talk to you ex's best friend like you didn't totally play her girl is a bad idea. Even if you're Brad Pitt and the friend is Courtney Cox. [Female First]

• Without Coca-Cola, movies would totally tank. Without Matt Drudge, people could enjoy the simple art of entertainment again. But alas, he will not stop. And neither will we. [Slate]

• Newlyweds skyrocketed Jessica Simpson from C-list to B-list, while Nick Lachey somehow stuck around on the D-list. No worries though, they didn't have a prenup — which means Nick's gonna get a hefty chunk of Simpson's purse. [PerezHilton]

• Speaking of Nick, he's retained publicionado Ken Sunshine to battle Jessica's supra-publicist Rob Shuter in the gossip columns. [Lowdown]

• More Lachey news? Even we are starting to get ill. He's in talks with The WB to star in his own sitcom, where he plays a famous baseball player in a new marriage. How eerily familiar .. we already know how the mid-season cancellation is going to turn out. [Reuters]

• First Jamie Foxx thinks he's the real Ray Charles. Now Lenny Kravitz is about to take on Jimi Hendrix's likeness. [Fox 411]

• In Paris Hilton's world, it's all about leftovers. While she's parading around with Mary-Kate Olsen's ex Stavros Niarchos, her ex-fiance Paris Latsis is new pals with Tara Reid. But it's just platonic, for all our sakes. [Page Six]

• Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari is extending her 15 minutes, thanks to co-hosting duties for UPN's new reality show Get This Party Started. Alongside Extra's Ethan Erickson, the career reality TV starlet will repent for her on-screen sins by throwing parties for those in need. [NYDN]

• Michael Jackson still hates the Jews. Now he hates the Italians. But he loves the Muslims. [Page Six & R&M]

• That sound you hear is A-list actresses wailing in agony, because Dolce and Gabbana decided not to design for the Oscars anymore, claiming it's "too conservative." [Extra]