As we mentioned yesterday, when people of questionable morals and lifepaths die, the press does handstands, cartwheels, and backflips to ensure you remember the positive things about them. We thought it only held true for gossip columnists. Turns out, first ladies get the same treatment.

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• As the battle between the 'Giuliani Girl' and the 'Obama Girl' heats up, Team Barack "keeps to their tradition of balancing booty with wit, using a pop-up Al Gore to excellent effect, along with the somewhat hapless character of "Kucinich Girl," which is a nice nod to lower-tier candidates (though one shudders to think of what "Gravel Girl" might look like)."

• Larry Flynt to Tucker Carlson: "I'm a slimeball, and you can't dance."

• According to the results of a new Harvard study, "young people do not make an appointment with news every day the way older adults do." As a result, teens also tend not to talk like out-of-touch septuagenarians.

• WaPo brings "local news" to excruciatingly boring macroscopic level.

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"MSNBC was first to report the death of Lady Bird Johnson on Wednesday afternoon," reports TVNewswer. "Chris Matthews reported the news at 5:34pm and tossed to an obit package by Brian Williams."

CNN and Fox News reportedly tied for a close second, going on-air at 5:37pm, with FNC's obituary narrated by Mike Emanuel, and CNN's voiced by Wolf Blitzer.

And, in third place? Why, People magazine, of course!

Because nothing offsets a serious obituary about the former First Lady of the United States like an article about Jessica Simpson's feelings on plastic surgery and Drew Barrymore's sex life.

• Hillary Clinton is said to dress even manlier than war hero John McCain.

• This America's Got Talent contestant's routine wasn't supposed to include falling flat on his face.

• Lady Bird Johnson dead at the age of 94.

• David Beckham is all about the little girl's Fruit of the Looms

• Lil' Kim shows us that magical nipple slip, one more time.

• Maybe we aren't as green as Al Gore thought we were. Or maybe we just don't want to sit at home and watch Bravo all day.

• If we had a Roy Lichtenstein-esque picture of ourselves on a shirt, we'd probably wear it around, too.

• Apparently, the iPhone also makes a great smoothie.