• Why it really, really sucks to have a baby in early July.

• Lance Bass, doing what he does best: sucking.

• From Stereohyped: "Neverland has 3,000 acres - [Michael Jackson] likes privacy. You can’t find as many properties like that on the West Coast.” Which is weird, actually, cause we thought there were a ton of crazy effeminate millionaires who owned village-sized estates complete with giant roller coasters.

• Robbie Williams takes a break from inhaling java to leak an excerpt of a new crazy religious track.

• Janet Jackson loses her battle with losing weight.

• Hugh Grant personally subsidized Divine Brown's children's college education.

• Hugh Hefner still has the magic touch…which he demonstrates by pulling out all the graphics design stops for Mariah Carey's suspiciously flattering Playboy spread.

• A week after Anne Heche dumped her hubby for co-star James Tupper, Page Six confirms that the two actors have "chemistry," and charmingly reminds us of Heche's "Ellen DeGeneres Phase."

• Jessica Biel proves she's extremely photogenic in her upcoming In Style shoot; Justin Timberlake fans announce they hate her "even more."

• Air America Radio is sold to SLG Radio LLC; Meanwhile, funnyman Al Franken announced he's quitting after hearing the phrase "face for radio" one too many times.

• Looks like Clay Aiken has been Manhunting again, despite his not being even a teensy weensiest bit homosexual.

• Lance Bass immediately updates his MySpace profile to reflect his new single status. Related; Lance Bass becomes the first human to time travel back to the 6th grade.

• OMG, OMG, Eva Longoria and fiance Tony Parker photographed grabbing a bite out to eat…TOGETHER. In actually shocking news, Longoria turns out to be "mediocre looking" without her usual 17 layers of makeup.

• Lindsay Lohan needs to purge her email address book, because everyone of those notes gets leaked.

• Vincent Gallo increases rate to sex you.

• Mary-Kate Olsen, soon to be seen as a decoy on Dateline: To Catch a Predator.

• If Lindsay Lohan can go a week without a drink, surely Paris Hilton can go six months without sex.

• Disgraced and soon-to-be-former Miss USA Tara Conner spends one last drunken evening with her tiara.

• One weekend of padding anti-Semites was enough for America: Mel Gibson's Apocalypto nose dived during week two.

• Lance Bass ditches Reichen Lehmkuhl for, ahem, Janice Dickinson and Jai Rodriguez.

• Lance Bass only needed a few days to rebound.

• Keith Urban isn't out of rehab yet. He was just allowed an outside conjugal visit.

• Gwyneth Paltrow backpeddles on hating this great nation.

• Guy Ritchie rumored to be not so happy about his burgeoning family.

• Eddie Murphy wants Spice Girl Mel-B to pinky swear the kid is his.

• Jessica Simpson ended her Dolly Parton tribute with "so nervous" and a quick exit. Appropriately, there was no applause.

• Beyonce's late gay uncle helped her buy her prom dress. Ah, memories.

A couple that's near and dear to so many of you – especially you nobodies in Provincetown who knew of their relationship weeks ahead of Bonnie Fuller – is reportedly calling it quits. Retired pop star Lance Bass and Amazing Race winner-cum-author Reichen Lehmkuhl are ending the affair that gave T.R. Knight and Neil Patrick Harris the courage to face Hollywood's snide looks. But hey, at least it'll boost book sales.

As you've likely heard, former Doogie Houser and current How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris came out of the closet last week, announing he's a big gay. And who does he tell his story to? Why People magazine, of course. First Lance Bass gets his cover story, then T.R. Knight gives the Time Inc. tabloid the "exclusive" on his homo habits, and now Harris has shaken hands with Larry's Hackett. Because while Vanity Fair is where celebrities reveal they were molested as a child, People is the place to spread the word that you're a bottom.

• Beyonce celebrates her birthday as any diva would, complete with a giant cake and people she doesn’t even know. [The Sun]

• We find it hard to believe that Lance Bass didn't want to buy flowers because he's gay. The guy selling them probably said something about pretty ladies and Lance was like, "yo, dude. Nasty." [TMZ]

• If you're going to try to mess somebody at the VMAs, don't pick Russell Simmons. Especially if you're Kimora Lee and he's there with his ex. [R&M]

• Looks like Diddy is going have to get ready for twins. We totz think he should name them Iddy and Biddy. Then again, that might suck when they grow up. [Us]

• Ludacris admits that he doesn't actually fuck all day, fuck all night. He has to stop at some point to rap about it. [Page Six]

• Are these producers serious? Someone should show them a YouTube clip of a certain episode of Saturday Night Live. [Much Music]

• Bob Dylan’s assertion that new recordings suck may be due to the fact that he’s listening to his own voice, which no modern technology can improve. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Nothing ruins a good Lance Bass Stereo House party like a moldy pool tarp. [Page Six]

• Snoop Dogg takes a break from pimping himself out to the highest bidder and actually makes music. [NME]

• Willie Nelson (yeah, the guy from Half Baked) thinks those darn foreigners should stop killing and eating our horses. He then proceeded to carve himself up a nice steak. [Jam!]

• In an attempt to let the public know he’s not just cool for doing drugs, but for supporting gay people too, Justin Timberlake stands behind Lance Bass. [MuchMusic]

• This is what happens when you come in 2nd place in American Idol: Taylor Hicks gets to do Toyota commercials and Katharine McPhee is forced to talk to Bush. [Mercury News]

• Obviously, you don't have to be cool to be Prince's girl, you just have to be willing to idolize him and give him some of your extra kisses. [Page Six]

• Former radio-host Star distinguishes "mainstream talk" from “hood talk.” [Daily Dish]

• We've asked before and we'll ask again: isn’t there an age-limit for feuding rockers? [Jam!]

With Lance Bass' coming out in this week's People magazine, the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association fired off a missive to news outlets across the country with hopes they wouldn't do the typical media thing like label Lance's coming out an "admission" or refer to his "lifestyle." Or, you know, call him a nelly bottom fag. Gay brother Queerty brings us the specifics:

The term "gay" is the preferred adjective that has largely replaced "homosexual" in referring to men who are sexually and affectionally attracted to other men. "Homosexual" should be used only if "heterosexual" would be used in parallel constructions, such as in medical contexts.

Whether in headlines, teases, or body copy, try to avoid using forms of the word "admit," which is typically used in the context of something shameful or illegal. Some examples of less potentially charged words are "announce," "disclose" and "say."

Also, be aware that the Associated Press Stylebook recommends avoiding the term "lifestyle" when referring to someone's sexual orientation. In this context, "lifestyle" suggests that gays and lesbians — not to mention bisexuals and transgender people — think and act the same way. In fact, there is no "gay lifestyle" or "alternative lifestyle" just as there is no "straight lifestyle."

To sum up, this is good: "Lance Bass announced he's gay and in a relationship with Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl."

This is bad: "Lance Bass admitted he's been a closeted queer his whole life, longing for Justin Timberlake's loins and JC Chasez's lips. Now he's shamefully owning up to the fact that he's a pussy power bottom."

How to Handle Lance Bass' Coming Out Story [Queerty]
Earlier: Lance Bass Comes Out, Shocks Nobody, Grants Boy Band Fantasies

What we're guessing must've been the very difficult thought process for Lance Bass:

1) People have already begun to suspect.

2) Going to clubs with a trio of ladies just to cover our tracks is getting old.

3) Reichen is hot. I wanna suck his tongue in public already.

4) Well, I already sorta did that in Provincetown. At a bar. In front of everyone.

5) Fuck it — it's not like I had a chance at a solo career anyhow.

Lance Bass: I'm Gay [People]