• Jared Leto and Paris Hilton go to first base. In pop culture ranking, there's no difference between being on a short-lived, critically acclaimed television show in the nineties and being an heiress with a predilection to party.
• Spy shots of Mariah Carey topless, but conveniently covering her nips with her arms. Someone's publicist has been working overtime.
• Speaking of good publicity, Scarlett Johanson visits soldiers in Kuwait. She's so much more than a pretty face and a great rack.
• LC mixes it up in the hot ATL. Pretty soon we're going to need new episodes of The Hills to keep writing about these appearances.
• New York's new tourism ad has us considering a move to Portland.
• Ambition, noun: Wanting your own reality television show. Denise Richards is the definition of ambition.
"After all the work I did on the Hot Young Hollywood party, I couldn't believe Whitney and I lost our jobs at Teen Vogue," or so we imagine the opening of the next season of The Hills to begin. But really, after all the cross-promotional work they did, why did they lose their jobs?
Insiders say they outgrew their demographic:
The average age of the magazine’s readership is 16 — do they really want to support the behavior depicted in The Hills? They also started to see that newsstand sales were flat… there was no blip on the radar when Lauren and Whitney were involved.
So what's next? MTV, err, Whitney and Lauren, are already sending out resumes for the next season. Does ELLEgirl have a west coast office for their website?
[Photo]
PERPETUAL SYNERGYMACHINES DON'T WORK EITHER Lauren Conrad has left her "internship" at the "West Coast office" of Teen Vogue. [WWD]
Vacation's over, but the tabs have yet to recover from their holiday hangovers. It's a sad day when pictures of Katherine Heigl's wedding excite us.
With all the celebrity diet "exclusives," Intern Whitney was happy to see Brangelina on the cover of Life & Style. The mag takes their stalking abilities to the next level, monitoring their family's daily habits with a time chart. Ground breaking work, for sure.
Star has resorted to more ugly pictures of celebrities to make you feel better about yourself, and the mag also teases us with the idea of a Britney and Jamie Lynn crazy house! We'd go. Other great ideas: Making Mischa Barton the godmother of your child, finding love via public restrooms and proposing to a Kardashian. What a week. CONTINUED »
If you’ve ever woken up on a Saturday morning and thought, “thinking isn’t for me today” and spent the day watching MTV, you know that Stephen and Lauren of Laguna Beach hooking up again is a big deal.
We’ve had that experience; our colleague Cord of Mollygood has not. And yet he has used all our witty rejoinders about the recent re-pairing on his website. Our resolution for 2008 is to get our revenge.
[Photo Credit: WireImage]
• Talk of The Tabs preview: Heidi and Spencer are not so much getting married as they are starring in a MTV series.
• Courtney Cox and David Arquette continue their blissful relationship, so we continue not to care about them.
• In other Lauren Conrad spin-off news, Kristin Cavallari might be in talks for a new show on MTV.
• More thoughts on the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy: It's not a good thing.
• We're glad we don't get holiday cards from Amy Winehouse.
• We forgot, too. Ashlee Simpson is some sort of singer.
Keeping it real has its perks. Owing up to its lowest common dominator cultural values has boosted ratings for MTV.
Because of shows like The Hills and A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila, ratings for viewers aged 12 to 34 are up 13 percent, which is the first time MTV ratings have gone up in more than two years.
Um, did you see The Hills this week? OMG, Heidi totally tried to apologize to Lauren for the whole sex tape thing, Lauren was all like, “I want to forgive you, and forget you.” Oh snap, what a play on the “forgive and forget” expression. CONTINUED »
The guy who LC dated on this week's episode of The Hills (in a transparent attempt to make Brody jealous!) speaks up and continues to throw our world in disarray by shattering what little conviction remained that the crappy—but inexplicably addictive—MTV melodrama is totally real and not even a little bit scripted.
• We're not saying Keira Knightley has an eating disorder. We're only kindly requesting that you consider donating some of your spare change to the "Please, For The Love Of God, Buy This Woman A Big Mac" fund.
• Who tops the list of "Celebrity Lesbian Crushes?" (Hint: It's not Penelope Cruz).
• More signs that Britney Spears is no longer the irresistible sex symbol that she once was: creepy magic-man Criss Angel has pretty much done everything short of signing an affidavit and taking a lie detector test to dispel rumors that the two are romantically involved.
• Audrina and Lauren Conrard show off their beach bodies, but it's just not the same without Heidi's new funbags.
• Christian Bale has lady-hands! Either way, he's still infinitely cooler than Christian "Grabby Hands" Slater.
• Unemployed actress Sally Kirkland dons blackface and a Lionel Richie "fro" and poses beside Nicole Richie—presumably because (a) they're all crazy, and (b) Angelina Jolie was unavailable.
• Meanwhile, the next time Paris Hilton screams, "Why won't those awful paparazzi just leave me alone?" simply shake your head and remember that she's a crazy, lying mess.
• Lauren Conrad accidentally-on-purpose broke Brody Jenner's finger during a heated game of touch football. Natch, Jenner didn't let it ruin his beer buzz and had resumed his normal activities (read: binge-drinking and spending his father's money) within hours.
• JLo and her skeletal hubby Marc Anthony claim they couldn't be more "normal." Assuming "normal" is slang for "stuck-up rich people, one of whom has a disproportionately large ass."
• Paris Hilton thinks Sarah Silverman is a heinous bitch. And, for once, we totally agree!
• Also, Paris' less famous (but equally unempoyed!) brother gets mugged near Penn Station while the bouncers from Stereo point at him and laugh.
• Cuba Gooding Jr. saved a guy's life, then sent himself to bed without dinner.
• After a long-term relationship with beer-bellied Vince Vaughn, whoever would have pegged Jennifer Aniston for a modelizer?
• Bruce Willis credits Will Smith with helping him to accept ex-wife Demi Moore's relationship with Ashton Kutcher. In exchange, Willis conveniently agrees to forget about the time a gangly, lean-muscled Smith tried to convince us he was Mohammad Ali.
• In between getting fake engaged and showing off her "straight off the rack" rack, The Hills' Heidi Montag has also found ample time to stalk former bestie Lauren Conrad.
• Laguna Beach stars' sex-tape deemed "too boring" for commercial release. Unlike those crazy unscripted shenanigans on season 18 of MTV's The Real World!
• Overweight nerd has Missed Connection with frequent object of his one-sided masturbatory fantasies.
• Creative differences with Dead Horse prove to be a Dealbreaker for blogger Elizabeth Spiers.
• For the first time we can remember, we're actually worried about not having enough Law & Order.
• Attorney General Alberto Gonzales tells the Senate Judiciary Committee he has nothing to hide. Except, you know, the truth.
• Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell to author children's books; Victoria "Posh" Beckham to read them in her brand new book club.
• If you're going to get nailed for insider trading, make sure you pick a totally innocuous trading symbol. Like "LGBT."
• ABC confirms what we already knew by publicly admitting that Amanda Congdon's not really a "journalist."
• Forbes to start their own version of "Business Vogue." Experts predict it will be a lot like Portfolio, except for frumpier women. With spectacles!
• Conrad Black evidently sent out emails bitching about having to work pro bono. Then he embezzled $60 million.
• The L.A. Times opinion editor quits over some sort of embarrassing sex scandal, and Brian Grazer is (probably) to blame.
• Page Six trumpets the romance between Katie Coric and not-exactly-starving musician, Chris Botti. (Rumor has it, he's got "jazz-hands!")
• Teen Vogue sales soar because of Lauren Conrad's tv internship. Or else maybe it's because all the other teen mags have folded. Like, literally, all of them.
• New York's elite foodie circle didn't just take the easiest target for their charity celeb chef comedy roast. They also took the biggest. [Page Six]
• Of course there was a clash between LC and Kristin Cavalleri at the Teen Vogue show. That's the only reason Kristin gets invited. [Lowdown]
• Oh, and same for this Paris Hilton at the Teen Vogue afterparty. [R&M]
• You know how sometimes you just don't wanna think about it? Yeah, yesterday most people didn't really have that option. Thanks psychotically obsessive media! [NYT]
• James Truman is so right on. Anyone who never has to go to Midtown, has nothing less than a delightful life. (You know why those Condes are so frigid, right?) [Forbes]
Editorial Director
