To fight back at the paparazzi, Lily Allen, who has long attracted their lens, but especially so after gaining weight, and most especially when she decided to lunch with Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson, snapped pictures of the crazed photographers, then posted them on her MySpace blog. That'll show 'em!

• In the words of an eight year old girl who's all kinds of fucked up, "I'd rather have breast milk, than a million melons."

• OK, seriously, this is the last Paris spoof video we're ever posting.

• CSI star Shemar Moore denies that he was on a gay beach, but embraces rumors regarding his ginormous penis.

• If you weren't already completely repulsed by Perez Hilton, this definitely ought to do it.

• This is what really happens to prison inmates who accidentally "drop the soap."

CONTINUED »

"Concert for Diana features music fit for a princess!" proclaims the NYYDN.

Assuming a princess would enjoy a six and a half hour marathon of Fergie's warbling voice (fortunately muted, thanks to technical difficulties) a recycled version of Diddy's tribute to B.I.G., the musical stylings of a still-drunk Lily Allen and heartfelt performances of Kanye West's "Gold Digger" and Pharrell's "Drop It Like It's Hot."

Not to mention a completely literal interpretation of 50 Cent's lyrics, "We gonna party like it's your birthday."

Rest in peace, D.

[via DN]

As we write this, we’re looking out the window and salivating over the picture perfect weather outside, currently being wasted on lazy, unemployed persons and pretentious NYU students. And so, for your sanity and ours, we’ve decided to kick off a glorious new feature called “Comment of the Day,” to provide a transient glimmer of entertainment for all you working stiffs who would much rather be downing margaritas poolside on the Jersey Shore (while fending off advances from married, guidos named Tony) than slaving away in your cubicles.

Today’s “Comment of the Day” comes to us from Popbytes, and it pertains to the new, fashion-forward pics of boozy broad, Lily Allen. The singer, who was arrested earlier for assault charges, graces the pages of Elle magazine, puts down her bottomless glass of wine long enough to pout her lips in a sexy couture shoot.

But will readers like the new Lily? Will her alcohol withdrawal symptoms impede the photo shoot? And when in the hell is it going to stop raining?

Thoughts, reflections and the COTD, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

• Breaking: Lily Allen arrested for allegedly attacking a photographer four months ago.

• Padma Lakshmi continues to not-cheat on her husband, author Salman Rushdie.

• Barack Obama has 99 problems, but his iTunes collection ain't one.

• German has graciously ended its boycott on ambiguously gay Scientologists.

• Nicole Richie may be on the hunt for a size triple-zero Vera Wang wedding gown.

• During a recent concert, former Fugee Lauryn Hill ("looking not unlike a bag lady") tripped, fell and landed flat on her backside. Which pretty much sums up her entire performance.

• Many concert goers are guilty of smoking, chugging shots and forgetting the majority of the lyrics, and some would argue that Lily Allen is no exception. Then again, she did it onstage.

• Paris Hilton has already shed five pounds since becoming a guest of the state. Related: an envious Nicole Richie to throw herself at the mercy of the court.

• Also, Hilton has finally left the medical center (a.k.a. loony bin) and rejoined her fellow Lynwood inmates.

• Anderson Cooper can only lift five-pound weights, says stalker/openly gay rocker Rufus Wainwright.

• "My driver is a crackhead" screamed Rosario Dawson, prompting Martha Stewart to respond, "He must be Eqyptian, dear."

• A remake of Hairspray hits the big screen next month, but the casting of John Travolta as Edna Turnblad has gay critics flaming mad. Apparently, traditionalists wanted to see the role go to a cross-dressing transsexual rather than a closeted homo.

• Jay-Z woos Beyonce by promising her the world. Starting with lung cancer.

• Apparently, David Hyde Pierce is a homosexual. And here we thought his love for Daphne Moon was real.

• Matthew McConaughey continues to get rejected by establishments upholding the "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" policy.

• Lily Allen reveals she was expelled from high school for going down on some dude.

• Jordin Sparks is totally comfortable with her body. That is, until the tabloids, media and fashionistas all convince her she's horribly wrong. And fat.

• Who knew Ice-T's cracked out wife had her very own magazine? What's more, she even graces the cover herself. Like Oprah!