"I will not be commenting on the various reports regarding the divorce or of the settlement which has not been finalized." —Madonna's publicist Liz Rosenberg, who would probably lie in her statement anyhow.

As Christopher Ciccone's publicity tour hits full stride this week — the book drops today — you've got the two-part Good Morning America interview, where he spends some time defending his sister's extramarital reputation, to concern yourself with. But there are two places where you might not hear about his scandalous accusations about husband Guy Ritchie's homophobia and his sister's obsession with Kabbalah.

We're hearing reports that neither Entertainment Tonight nor The Insider, both produced by CBS Television Studios, will be airing specials about Ciconne.

How come? Because Madonna's rep had them killed.

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While OK! and Us Weekly insist Madonna and Yankees star Alex Rodriguez are having themselves a little extramarital affair — hey, she did write a song called "I Love New York" … a secret love letter perhaps? — People shoots back with the official response from Madge's longtime rep Liz Rosenberg, who tries to put the kabash on all this nonsense.

"It's nothing new that people are airing tons of dirty laundry Madonna's way lately – much of it untrue," says Liz, who adds that Guy Ritchie just arrived in the U.S. not as a last ditch effort to save his marriage, as some aggressive headline writers might suggest, but to be with his wife and kids.

Except it's also quite plausible, inside the gossip industry where even the Today show is playing, to assume Ritchie came to the States just to give the appearance of normalcy, and quell reports that both he and Madonna have consulted with divorce attorneys.

For its part, Us is standing by its sources, who seem to be phoning in A-Rod reports from the front desk of her Manhattan apartment building. The tabloid's latest report? That the baseball player visited Madge the night after his wife gave birth to their second daughter.

But as hard as Rosenberg works to play this story off as a non-issue, which she's been doing for more than a year, speculation about the end of Madonna's marriage isn't going anywhere. And here's why:

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Madonna is not getting off so easy. The latest round of speculation of her marriage troubles began when she attended her own induction to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame without Guy Ritchie, and didn't thank him in her acceptance speech. Then came the British rumors that they were living in separate quarters of their home, and then reports surfaced that she was moving to New York with the kids and without her husband. They haven't been photographed together since January 8, on a trip to India.

Nonsense!, claims longtime publicist Liz Rosenberg. "All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household," she told Page Six. "Their marriage is definitely not hanging by a thread. Madonna has no plans to move to New York . . . Separate wings? I think not. I am delighted to confirm [they] remain happily married."

Then how to explain this Daily Mail story that claims she's leaning on BFF Gwyneth Paltrow for strength during this difficult time? What, the editors there are just making stuff up now?