Timing is everything. And nothing

Summer, the season of slow news, was revitalized this year with scandal of all scandals: Rumors of Madonna stepping out on Guy Ritchie to enjoy a secret affair with Yankees all-star Alex Rodriguez. The New York tabloids had a field day, bouncing between denials from Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg and tips from Madonna's doormen about A-Rod sightings. Meanwhile, Ritchie flew from London to New York so the couple could be seen doing normal things, like dining for the paparazzi, flaunting their children for the paparazzi, and loving each other for the paparazzi. Most saw through the charade. Then gossips in London began leaking details of on-going spats between the famous married couple, and how they basically led separate lives already, sleeping in different beds and, often, separate cities. And then yesterday came the penultimate headline: Britain's The Sun claimed a divorce was imminent. And today? Confirmation. Except the timing is all wrong, or so we imagined.

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Oct 15, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 5 Responses
Material Girl and Snatch to split


Months after the whole A-Rod incident, and right smack in the middle of Mag's Sticky and Sweet tour, Guy Ritchie and Madonna are finally calling it quits on their celebrity sham of a marriage. Maybe Guy could handle being cuckolded, but he certainly wasn't going to allow any wife of his open a movie right before the premiere of his RocknRolla:

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Oct 15, 2008 · posted by drew · Link · 1 Response
Sorry Guy


Oh, look Guy Ritchie made another film! RocknRolla looks just like his other film, Snatch, which of course was a remake of his other other film, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Hey, at least the man knows his niche and won't try to make another Cast Away.

Meanwhile, Madonna is busy bumping uglies with A-Rod and coming out with her own directorial debut. So how does the man who brought semi-legitimacy to Mag's accent feel about all this?

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Oct 10, 2008 · posted by drew · Link · Respond


Madonna somehow directed a movie without anyone being the wiser. It's called Filth and Wisdom and stars Gogol Bordello frontman Eugene Hutz and some other quirky folks.

And surprisingly? It doesn't look like the worst piece of trash in the world. Hell, it looks better than The Beach and Evita combined, so basically it's better than the sum total of you and your husband's film career thus far.

Trailer after the jump:

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Sep 30, 2008 · posted by drew · Link · 7 Responses

Everyone, listen up!

This is a warning: if you see a lactating Demi Moore coming your way, you must either run or prepare to get wet.

Christopher Ciccone, brother of Madonna and lover of the media teet, claims the acclaimed actress once shot her breast milk at him and his lesbian friends at a party.

His lawyers, however, wouldn't let him include that unverifiable (bullshit?) tale in his recent tell-all:

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Aug 28, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 1 Response
There's A Joke In There Somewhere, But We Don't Want To Find It

Madonna kicked off her Sticky and Sweet world tour over the weekend, and, as expected, the show was filled with crotch shots and ill-advised outfit choices.

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Aug 25, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
Even Argentina has stopped crying for her

Much like the rich, snotty girl on the top of the hill, Madonna's big Five-Oh bday was celebrated in the company not of her friends, but the hired help. Miffed at the lack of celebrity A-listers (David Blaine showed up, but was part of the entertainment, which is sad on about five different levels), Miss Madge used the party as a dance rehearsal for her upcoming Sticky & Sweet tour. She also gave a thirty minute thank you speech to all her adoring paid employee-fans. Def. not in attendance? Axel-Rod — seeing as how Guy Ritchie footed the 100,000 pound bill.

Aug 18, 2008 · posted by drew · Link · Respond
Christopher Ciccone Blogs

Now that he's exhausted all avenues of publicity — namely, Good Morning America and Chelsea Lately — Christopher Ciccone is taking his book tour to the web. As if there aren't enough places on the information superhighway trashing Madonna, Ciccone's started a blog to add to the fray where, he says, some of the material that lawyers kept out of the book appears. Which means you will find tales of Madonna pooping herself and Madonna sucking a guy off while the guy blows Christopher. Lawyers indeed!

But our favorite part of Ciccone's blogging so far? Madonna whining, in August 1993, about a savage Us Weekly article.

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Aug 7, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 2 Responses

We love watching Chelsea Handler conduct interviews because she always asks the questions that are on everyone else’s minds and other reporters are afraid to ask. She invited Madonna’s “short and paunchy” brother, Chris Ciccone, onto her show last night and immediately started the interview by asking, “Why did you throw your sister under a bus?” He proceeds to be as annoying as ever, but we actually sat through the entire segment, which is more than we can say about his stint on Good Morning America.

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Jul 24, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

Violent celebrity Naomi Campbell is in the middle of a guest editing stint at Britain's Mirror, and she's using her soapbox to take a shot at scandal-laden celebrity Madonna — over Kabbalah. Who discovered it first? Who's knows what it's really about? Time to put on the boxing gloves, ladies.

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Jul 23, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 4 Responses
Reinvention stalled

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In between gossiping about Madonna's marriage woes and the possibility that she was mounting Alex Rodriguez complete with riding crop, you may have noticed that the soi-disant Queen of Reinvention is looking pretty bland lately. Sure, her theme for Hard Candy is boxer/fighter/angry lass, but the girl is wearing track suits, boring tees, and children in the public square.

The woman once known for reshaping her image era by era is sliding into her half-century age mark not with a bang, but a bland fashion apogee that's not a statement. It's a question mark.

Is this the most we can expect from a middle aged popstar?

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Jul 17, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 2 Responses
We Obviously Have Different Definitions Of 'Love'

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Chris Ciccone wrapped up his two-part interview today on Good Morning America with a smile on his face and a new batch of insults for his sister Madonna. For someone who claims to love his sibling, he sure has an interesting way of showing it. And as for hope that the two will reconcile, Chris says that depends on whether Guy Ritchie cleans up his act. Because this rift between Chris and Madonna has nothing to do with this stupid tell-all book that he admits is all about the money.

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Jul 15, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

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Okay, we know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but Madonna adores all the attention surrounding her alleged affair with Alex Rodriguez. That’s what her so-called friend are saying. What’s more, the pop star’s looking to up the ante a bit:

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Jul 15, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

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Looking to "Ruin Romo" for inspiration, the most asshole-y of Blue Jays fans enjoyed torturing Alex Rodriguez as the Yankees played the Toronto team up north over the weekend. To their credit, they did not use the scariest of all Madonna photos. [Mollygood]

Jul 14, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 1 Response
Dare to cross pop royalty

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As Christopher Ciccone's publicity tour hits full stride this week — the book drops today — you've got the two-part Good Morning America interview, where he spends some time defending his sister's extramarital reputation, to concern yourself with. But there are two places where you might not hear about his scandalous accusations about husband Guy Ritchie's homophobia and his sister's obsession with Kabbalah.

We're hearing reports that neither Entertainment Tonight nor The Insider, both produced by CBS Television Studios, will be airing specials about Ciconne.

How come? Because Madonna's rep had them killed.

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Jul 14, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 4 Responses

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Among the claims in Christopher Ciccone's forthcoming Madonna tell-all: "Guy Ritchie is a homophobe whose heterosexuality 'swells noticeably' in the presence of gay men. In a dinner toast Ciccone made the week before Ritchie and Madonna's wedding, he cracked about the groom, 'I'd like to toast this happy moment . . . and if anybody wants to [bleep] Guy, he'll be in my room later.'" [P6]

Jul 11, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 2 Responses
16-minute private tape!!!

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We already know how People magazine is conducting its Madonna/Alex Rodriguez coverage: By running quotes from her publicist Liz Rosenberg as truths. But how are magazines like riot-inducing Us Weekly getting their information — tips so valid they're calling for the end of Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage? An email that arrived in our inbox might shed some light.

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Jul 11, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

Sadly, Christopher Ciccone's book about his sister will include some of the biggest non-news revelations about Madonna. Namely, that her greatest love, her biggest passion, her true cause … is herself. [AP]

Jul 10, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 2 Responses

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Oops!

Overwhelmed by the tireless coverage of the Madonna/Alex Rodriguez/Lenny Kravitz/Cynthia Rodriguez rat fuck, a delirious MSNBC staffer accidentally put up a picture of OJ Simpson in place of the Yankee cad.

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Jul 8, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

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Madonna/A-Rod relationship denier Roger Friedman helpfully pinpoints all the dates relevant to their relationship that does not exist. As if this entire story could not get more sensational, there's this bit about a, ahem, "groin pull": "What was A-Rod’s injury? A grade 2 groin pull that occurred during a game against Baltimore on the 20th. He went back to work, but exacerbated the injury to the point where he couldn’t play. It was so bad that Rodriguez actually didn’t rejoin the team until May 20, when the Yanks lost to Baltimore 12-1. That’s a long time for a superstar of Rodriguez’s caliber to be out of commission. Indeed, when A-Rod was injured, manager Joe Girardi was quoted in several interviews saying that he was 'surprised to learn the strain was so severe.'" [Fox 411]

Jul 8, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
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