Coming up on the craptastic medium that is reality TV: Jennifer Lopez is teaming with Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos to produce a new TLC documentary series about the new mom's life as a living, breathing brand mechanism. Over at Fox, the trend of ruining lives continues after The Moment of Truth, with Deadbeat Dads, where the National Child Support Center goes after fathers who are skipping out on child support, because public shame is the only way to get them to pay up. And on the History Channel, the genre's L. Ron Hubbard, Mark Burnett, will re-create Henry Morton Stanley's late 1800s search for explorer David Livingstone. Somehow all of these reality projects got off the ground without any promise of attractive twentysomethings hooking up in a hot tub.

Merry Miller does something almost (but not quite!) as humiliating than butchering her first-ever live interview with Holly Hunter. She dropped by The View (Yes, totally embarrassing, but that's not the most shameful part) gabbed with the ladies about her television debut, and slid in, ever so casually, that she used to date the founding purveyor of scripted reality television.

[Merry] Miller said yesterday she has a lot in common with Hasselbeck. "She was on 'Survivor,'" Miller said, "and I went out with Mark Burnett."

OMG, total twinsies! Meanwhile, Mark Burnett? Ew! Though you'd have thought dating him would have given Miller a couple venereal diseases useful insights on how to play to the cameras and adhere to a script while still acting completely natural. Apparently, however, you'd have been very, very, hilariously wrong. [via SoupCans]

Ever wondered how the cast of The Office would fare on an all-celebrity edition of The Apprentice? We sure have! In fact, lately, we've been thinking about it a little bit more every day.

As we see it, the annoyingly sycophantic Dwight Schrute would quickly tick off The Donald with his transparent ass-kissing and self-promotional banter. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam would be too busy pranking Ivanka and debating whether or not to make out to seriously compete, while the Regional Manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder-Mifflin would undoubtedly ruffle Trump's feather's with his overinflated sense of business savvy, then offend him with some sort of wayward racist or sexist remark in a misguided (and socially inept) attempt at humor.

Fortunately, programming guru Ben Silverman is already well on his way towards making our Office/Donald Trump crossover premise a reality (show).

CONTINUED »

• Pete Wentz penchant for eyeliner, women's jeans earns him a spot in People's 50 Most Beautiful People. [via BWE]

• Reality show maven Mark Burnett is scouring MySpace in an effort to find the next Amanda Congdon.

• Gay detectives race to dispel rumors that Anderson Cooper is a never-nude.

• Harper's Bazaar versus Vogue is no contest. Vogue, the thicker and denser of the two, easily wins the "when dropped by a 6 foot model onto one's head" competition.

• Meanwhile, black families everywhere were devastated to learn that they will no longer have a channel named after them.

• Four out of five red-blooded American men would risk jail-time to bang Miss America…aged 14.

Since shows about young children are really hot right now, it makes sense that producing partners Mark Burnett and Mike Darnell would team up to steal some of this Deal Or No Deal craze and oversaturate the primetime game show market with Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

Skein — whose unveiling comes just days after CBS confirmed it had its own tyke-themed gameshow in the works (Daily Variety, Dec. 7) — will put one ordinary adult in a classroom set filled with about five average fifth graders. Contestants will start out with $100,000 but will then have to gamble that coin by answering a series of general knowledge questions.

The twist: All the questions will come from textbooks aimed at fifth graders and below. Subjects will range from first grade art to fifth grade math.

Then, Chris Hansen will step into the room with a camera crew and ask what normal adult male goes into a room full of school children armed with cash.

Exciting news for the same crowd who cares that Survivor host Jeff Probst is dating former contestant Julie Berry:

Actress Roma Downey and reality-show producer Mark Burnett are engaged, a publicist for the pair said Monday. Burnett proposed to Downey during a Thanksgiving trip to Mexico, publicist Jim Dowd said. Both are 46.

"They have never been happier," Dowd said. "They are enjoying this exciting time with their children and their families."

The couple, who started dating in 2004, plan to marry next year.

"I have found my angel," Burnett said in a statement.

Tune in this summer when Mark Burnett's new reality show, Survivor: Who Wants to Fillet My Wife With a Guitar Pick?, heats up CBS' airwaves.