Who here is surprised by the fact that Madonna and Guy Ritchie had a contract listing rules to abide by during their marriage? After visiting a counselor two years ago, Madge hung up the contract in the couple's New York home and, if her husband every broke the rules, she would say, "Contract, Guy, contract." Cause that's not annoying at all.
It's a wonder Guy survived this long, especially upon viewing the rules (after the jump).
Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are finally getting married! Well, once Ivanka converts over to Judaism, which is standard practice for becoming a big name in the media world. Kushner owns the Observer and Ivanka is a Trump, so this wedding should be featured prominently in the Sunday Fashion & Style section of The New York Times.
But not if their Rabbi has anything to say about it.
As we reported in 2001, Rabbi Haskel Lookstein of Congregation Kehillath Jeshurun on East 85th led his flock to boycott the Times over "biased and unfair coverage" of Israel and the Mideast, and got 1,000 subscribers to bail.
Is picking a Times-hating Rabbi Kushner's subtle dig at the competition? Lord knows NYT needs those subscribers back now.
Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage has gone the way of their Swept Away remake, let's look into how much rapidly devaluing cash and assets are going to change hands, shall we?
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Now that they've tied the knot, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have finally made it - to the cover of People. The tabloid will release some exclusive shots from the lady's wedding this Friday.
The time has come! Ellen DeGeneres and lady love Portia de Rossi will reportedly tie the knot this weekend:
Gangly-toothed singer and L'Oreal shiller Jewel married rodeo star Ty Murray a week ago today. You read about it the day after, through an official statement to People by her rep, since Jewel managed to pull things off in secret, even though she held it at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, which is equally as luxurious as it is a hot bed of gossip-y service staff known to tip off the paparazzi for cash rewards. And the reason Jewel's nuptials — they eloped — are making news today? Because she released a photo from the ceremony. It's pretty, professional, and exactly what she could've been paid at least a few hundred grand for. Or maybe that's exactly what happened, and People is revealing the picture now.
Someone needs to keep an eye on Jennifer Aniston, because rumor has it John Mayer dumped her and, if the media is to be believed, she is going to have a nervous breakdown due to the grief. Or something.
From the Dept. of Why Did You Wait This Long comes news that Star Jones is splitting from maybe-gay husband Al Reynolds. Star plans to handle the "dissolution of a marriage" with "dignity and grace." The website StarAndAl.com has already been replaced with Star Jones' own site. The divorce proceedings will be sponsored by Puffs Plus tissue and Arden B.
Liam Gallagher married his longtime GF, Nicole Appleton yesterday. If you think marrying on Valentine's Day is cheesy, you should consider that Gallagher's son with his first wife is named Lennon.
We were just visiting with an author friend who's finishing a tome on marriage and were chatting about something scholarly when our eyes came across a book called Don'ts For Wives.
Penned by Blanche Ebbutt in 1913, this mini reference guide includes a plethora of helpful tips for a baffled young brides. One particular suggestion tickled our gutter dwelling minds: "Don't let breakfast be a 'snatch' meal. Your husband often does the best part of his day's work on it, and the engine can't work if you don't stoke it properly."
That's advice everyone should take to heart.
Things got a little awk for NBC golden boy Brian Williams on Monday night when he described marriage as being “under attack.” For those who missed the 2004 election, the wording was uncomfortable similar to Christian right’s rhetoric against gay marriage.
We thought bad writing, not a large scale anti-gay conspiracy at NBC was to blame for the news script. Brian Williams, at least in his NBC approved blog post, agrees:
I was the recipient today of several emails from well-intentioned people, telling me I was being attacked in parts of the blogosphere for something I wrote and said on the air in last night’s broadcast … My meaning? Our national divorce rate, which is currently somewhere between 40 and 50 percent. Others took it upon themselves to decide that I was somehow attacking gay marriage.
With that scandal settled, some have taken issue with Williams’s use of “being attacked in parts of the blogosphere,” claiming they were simply stating a problem with Williams choice of words. We, on the other hand, take issue with Williams’s use of blogosphere. That expression is so 2004.
How are civil unions just like crappy PC computers? (Hint: It's not because "Angry lesbians and non-Macs could both stand to be more 'user-friendly.'") The answer lies in this clever advertisement for gay marriage, currently playing on a New Jersey tv screen near you.
In addition to fighting obesity (while simultaneously whoring herself out to Dunkin' Donuts) Rachael Ray has had to contend with a streak of nasty rumors insinuating that her marriage—like her recipe for peach margaritas—is on the rocks.
Fortunately, Us Weekly gets to the bottom of things, by asking Rachael point blank, whether everything is copacetic in the House of Ray.
• Advertisements geared towards making the Bronx a tourist destination to air starting on Monday. Featured landmarks are said to include the zoo, the botanical gardens, and that ultra safe street known as the Grand Concourse.
• A gay female rabbi will lead this year's NYC pride parade. Meanwhile, organizers are hoping their choice won't cause any a gay shemozzle.
• Jaded New Yorkers are so over that whole "wedding" thing.
• LaGuardia Airport is reporting delays for two straight days; angry passengers nonteheless report seeing Bloomberg zoom off to his next campaign destination.
• We haven't seen this much mob news since all that hype about The Sopranos ending.
Remember the other day, when Page Six told us about Alycia Lane, who sent married sports correspondent, Rich Eisen, sexy bikini photos…that were (oop!) intercepted by his wife?
Well, now Alycia is pleading her case, claiming that the photos were completely innocent (because, who doesn't send almost-nude photos to their platonic married friends?) And she even has a good buddy willing to vouch for her!
TV newsgal Trish Bergin defended Lane, a close friend, insisting she's no homewrecker and, "if you look at [Eisen], you know he's not even in her league."
So fear not, ladies! Eisen isn't interested in ruining your marriage, jump starting your divorce and traumatizing your children.
Unless, of course, your husband happens to be sexually desirable enough to be considered "in her league."
In which case, it's more than likely that you (not to mention your husband) are already screwed.
Editorial Director
