• The New York Observer kids "play softball." If you call "hitting people with bats" and "getting hand fungus" a sport. Then again, it was like 800 degrees, so we give them some credit. [NYO]

• Yeah, we pretty much figure a gym on the Lower East Side would look more or less like this. [Gawker]

• Gavin Rossdale's illegitimate kid doesn't call Gwen Stefani "stepmum." She calls her "fucking bitch who stole my dad." [Page Six]

• Mel Gibson isn't the only one in Hollywood who can make fun of Jews. [Defamer]

• Melanie Griffith is one of those "cool moms." [Mollygood]

• Minor league baseball players want to remind you: Britney Spears is a really bad mother. Don't put your baby in a car seat backwards in a convertible just because she did. Ok? Great. [AP]

• Tom Cruise joins the long list of celebrities at war with the paparazzi. After photogs followed Katie Holmes' impregnator to the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles, a security guard whipped out a camera to snap pics of the paps "for the safety of … parishioners." Then, depending on who you believe, the guard made a citizen's arrest when one of the photogs jumped through his passenger window while idling at a stop light. [The Scoop]

• Another season of Lizzie Grubman's PoweR Girls on MTV? That's fine by us, so long as it's not aired back-to-back with Seventeen's Miss Seventeen. We can only take so much back stabbing at once. [Gawker]

• A year after going public with their romance, Survivor host Jeff Probst and Survivor: Vanuatu contestant Julie Berry are still going strong as a twosome. Meanwhile, Probst isn't sure he'll be renewing his contract when it expires at the end of the 12th season. World travel just isn't as much fun with a camera crew in tow. [AP]

• On the set of Twins, dumb blonde-playing Melanie Griffith is having trouble remembering her lines supposedly due to last minute script changes, not the fact that she's, uh, a dumb blonde. [The Scoop]

• Victoria's Secret only caters to women, not men. But they'll have to check and get back to you on that. [Page Six]