So while the rest of us plebes idled in our taxis on the West Side Highway yesterday, wondering whatthefuck the hold up was: George W. Bush, our great and powerful leader (for now) was in town at the Intrepid, honoring soldiers and anyone who got their hands on a sailor outfit during Fleet Week. Said W., "The truth of the matter is, I will miss being the commander-in-chief of such a fabulous group of men and women, those who wear the uniform of the United States military," because Bush still doesn't know the appropriate adjectives to commemorate important events.

Meanwhile, over at the Regency Hotel, a little birdie informed us that Mayor Bloomberg was having a pow-wow with a higher up from Israel, maybe something to do with those bank cuts Mike's paper reported on yesterday, or their standoff with Hamas at the Gaza strip, perhaps?

Guess who else was at the Regency? Emma Roberts of Nancy Drew fame, but more importantly daughter of Eric Roberts. She was there filming a promo for her upcoming Hotel for Dogs (exciting!).

Because Mike Bloomberg-as-mayor hasn't been in the news enough today, promising a decrease in New Yorkers' standard of living and increase media meetings, now there is that salacious Seth Mnookin piece about Bloomberg News that us media types have been salivating for all day.

Sure, things are going to change now that Barack Obama is in charge, but did you know that it's already become much chiller to work for Mike Bloomberg than it's ever been before?

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So all those meetings Mayor 4 Life Bloomberg was planning to help the city's flailing media industry? Mike's going to pay for them with the jobs of city workers… since he is cutting approximately 3,000 of them today.
“We do take these measures with a heavy heart,” the mayor said, adding, “We’re committed to keeping New Yorkers working, but we also have to keep the city’s finances in order.”

The mayor also promised that we weren't all going to get taxed back into the 70s, and there wouldn't be "deep cuts" in police, fire, and education spending. Um, except the police headcount is going to be cut by 1,000, and police classes are getting canceled.

But at least now we can figure out what to do with our booming blog industry!

After the jump, the list of what is getting axed.

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Mayor-elect Michael Bloomberg cares about New York's media scene. As well he should: he owns most of it. So you would think that Mike's ideas on how to fix the current state of the industry's tailspin would sound a little bit more informed, and less like something pulled out of a desperate last bid by the same companies he's trying to save:

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Lord almighty, Bloomberg got the terms laws changed so he can run for mayor a third time. The City Council vote passed 29-22, which overruled to separate public votes in the 90's to establish term limits for the mayor.

Bloomberg says: The city needs stability in times of crisis, and also he has money experience. Also, Ed Koch did it so why can't I?

Others say: The city is for sale! And you're disgusting!

What do we say?

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What would happen if North Korea's Kim Jong-il came to New York looking to meet with the city's movers and shakers and possibly invest some money in our great and glorious city? Probably international news, seeing as how Jong II is the autocratic chairman of one of the most nuclear capable countries in the world, and not exactly the most American (or any country, really) friendly dude.

Now, change the country to Uzbekistan, and the dictator to the slightly less-famous (but more atrocity-causing) Islam Karimov, and what happens?

New York City rolls out the red carpet in honor of one of the worst human rights violators in the world. Even if it is a hoax perpetrated by the staff over at Cityfile. That's how much money talks in this city: even if your first name is Islam, City Hall will promise you guided tours of their buildings as long as you send your request on a nice letterhead.

Supermayor Michael Bloomberg is going to poo-poo on such petty tyranny as "term limits," and run for the posish for a third time. Okay, weird, but not that weird, Ed Koch did it, and NY was just as scary in 1985 as it is now.

But while Bloomberg wants to abolish term limits all together, he's found an unlikely ally in Ronald Lauder, the guy who spent all of the 90's imposing those very same limits to begin with.

And of course, the puppet master behind it all will be the PR guy, Howard Rubenstein, who has an interest in keeping all his clients happy:

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"After months of speculation about his political future, Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg plans to announce on Thursday morning that he will seek a third term as mayor, according to three people who have been told of his plans. The extraordinary move promises to upend New York City’s political world. Right now, Mr. Bloomberg is barred by law from seeking re-election. But he will propose trying to revise the city’s 15-year-old term limits law, which would otherwise force him and dozens of other elected leaders out of office in 2009, the three people said. [...] If successful, Mr. Bloomberg would be only the fourth New York mayor in modern history to win a third term." [NYT]

In the past 12 months, New York City mayor and potential real estate tax increaser Michael Bloomberg saw his personal fortune skyrocket some $8.5 billion. That's according to Forbes — which pegs his current wealth at $20 billion — which is basically a magazine that exists to estimate about this stuff. How'd the price kidnappers would demand for his release jump so much?

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Reports the completely devoid of spin Bloomberg News: "New York City `Well-Positioned' to Withstand Turmoil": 'New York City, facing less revenue from Wall Street amid bank losses and the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., is "well-positioned" to weather the decline, Mayor Michael Bloomberg said.'

Because what an industry of navel gazers needs is another profile of Rupert Murdoch, Vanity Fair's Michael Wolff obliged and produced this piece of journa-schism. Its side effect was a discussion about where the (almost certainly false) rumors of Michael Bloomberg wanting to buy the New York Times began, but more amusing is the brief re-telling of how Murdoch stole the Wall Street Journal away from the Bancroft family with a giant false promise:

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During a recent press conference, Michael Bloomberg was fielding questions, and Newsday's Michael Frazier's made the mistake of using the word "maintain" to describe Bloomberg's position on the Sean Bell case, as in, "Mayor, you maintain that you kept a dialogue open with Sean Bell—."

The Bloomberg wasn't having it, responding: "Maintain is a word that I don’t think is appropriate, sir. The next time you have a question and want to insinuate that I lie, just talk to the press secretary. I don’t think we have a question for you." [NYO]

Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who does not actually run things at news service Bloomberg LP while he's doing his public official duties, must watch helplessly as more than five dozen women accuse his namesake company of discriminating against them for being pregnant. That's probably why he got so angry when reporters started asking him questions about it. [NYP]

In yesterday's New York Times, both CollegeHumor.com, a website for retired frat guys looking to kill time at the $120,000-starting i-banker jobs, and the Onion News Network, a faux video news title, got the profile treatment. How fitting, then, that a newspaper so focused on short attention spans and inventing truths is the same newspaper that both Newsweek and the New York Post claim Mayor Michael Bloomberg is eying for a possible purchase, BECAUSE THAT MAN CAN BUY WHATEVER HE WANTS. It's all thanks to a Michael Wolff suggestion, in Vanity Fair, that Bloomberg do just that.

The theory of a Bloomberg-owned Times has its doubters. Those that should also be on the list of disbelievers: Newsweek.

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