'She was photographed, as the slide show we've put together demonstrates, at a minimum of 21 events over Fashion Week, at shows ranging from BCBG Max Azria to cult label Costello Tagliapietra, in addition to several private dinners and parties (often wearing huge black sunglasses a la Anna Wintour, as New York magazine's fashion blog noted). She was supposed to be reporting from Style.com's "Virtual Front Row" for the week, but other than a brief introductory audio post, she doesn't seem to have checked back in.' [NYO]

• Perhaps Canada doesn't realize that Sean Penn can do whatever he wants. Because he's Sean Penn. [Page Six]

• Jessica Simpson is in Rob Shuter recovery, which includes placing calls to top tabloid editors apologizing for the PR stunt Shuter pulled. We're sure Bonnie Fuller gave her a full eight seconds before switching back to Tommy Mattola. [Radar]

• If Tom Cruise's legal team doesn't squash a tell-all book, we're sure the aliens who spawned his child will do something. [Scoop]

• The New York Times manages to snap photos of the only four sober people at Don Hills Saturday night. [NYT]

• Radar calls Anna Wintour a fucking bitch, forcing all of Bryant Park to flee from them, for fear of association. [Lowdown]

Who has the best happy hour in the East Village? If you don't guess Continental, well, then just get out of here. The St. Marks bar, which always collects a solid crowd of punk rockers, is facing its last days of glory. Page Six reports the clubs last live show will be Sept. 16, with a "supergroup" gathering on stage.

The last band to grace the stage will be a "supergroup" comprised of Dictators frontman "Handsome" Dick Manitoba, Lenny Kaye from Patti Smith's band, C.J. Ramone and Daniel Rey. (Until last week, the farewell show was to be local hardcore heroes Murphy's Law on Sept. 15.) And the legendary Bowery club CBGB will shut down for good after funk/punk mainstays Fishbone rock the main stage on Sept. 30.

So tragic. How will the doormen at the MisShapes party ever handle the overflow that's sure to occur as a result of displaced skinny jeans rockers?

FINAL FAREWELL [Page Six]

• The city is investigating 22 deaths linked to the heat wave, to see if there’s any way to prevent similar tragedy in the future. Step one likely has something to do with firing some folks over at Con Ed. [ABC]

• Aww. Firefighters saving kittens. Enough said. [NBC]

• We're trying to determine which is the more ridiculous concept: a think tank devoted to the diversity of street fairs, or the fact that there's only one ways to sell knock-off handbags. [Metro]

• Attention New Yorkers: drink pink or risk being shunned by the MisShapes. [NYT]

• How did health inspectors know NYC Boule and HQ failed the hygiene tests? A little cockroach told them. [NYP]

• Here's to betting that Benji Madden was the only person at MisShapes on Saturday night that even knows how to throw a punch. [Page Six]

• Nothing says bad-ass like a MySpace feud. With Fred Durst. [MSNBC]

• They say Proof was just "in the wrong place at the wrong time". Yeah, there's really no "right" place or time to get shot. [MTV]

• Polka Dot suits and crazy sunglasses for everyone! Elton John is hosting a closet sale, so get on down to Rockefeller Center while there are still platform shoes left. [National Ledger]

• Isn't prison bad enough without Jesus-centric talk radio? [NYT]

It seems that Jack Osbourne isn't the only underage guy in the music scene allegedly causing havoc in NYC. In a follow-up to Page Six's report on Wednesday that downtown DJs The MisShapes were "out of control" and "spilling drinks all over the equipment," we hear that the drama did not end there.

The DJs/band/party goers (no one seems to know what they really do except break shit) have been permanently booted from Happy Valley. But they might be able to sneak back in somehow, since finding a photograph of these people (how many of them are even out there?) was close to impossible. (This photo, we're pretty sure, actually is them.)

We think it's actually highly unlikely that anyone under 21 has even heard of Happy Valley, let alone would able to get in, but these f'ups tried to rat out the bar they just finished playing at!

Seriously, celebs, you have to cut this shit out. It's so not New York.

The full-ish un-fact-checked e-mail, after the jump.

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