• Celebrities who look like their pets…on the next Montel Williams!

• A no longer "Toxic" Britney Spears pretends to snort cocaine while lip-syncing "I need a hit / baby give me it."

• Paris Hilton may actually be looking at jail-time. Fortunately, she's already dressing the part.

• And rumor has it that clear liquid in Lindsay Lohan's might actually not be water.

• Justin Timberlake wants to give Dolly Parton a run for her money.

• Natasha Henstridge reminds us that cleavage, like fine wine, gets finereven more ginormous with age.

• See "The Hoff" like you've never seen him before…totally drunk! Oh, wait…

• ELLEgirl's executive editor Christina Kelly is taking over the masthead, now that editor Brandon Holley is slamming the door on her way to head up Jane.

• The New York Times is prepping for its own sports magazine (it will not, however, go by T: Sports) while Sports Illustrated is planning a brand-extending lifestyle pub.

• Snoop Dogg is off the hook from allegations he drugged and raped a makeup artist backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Show. She dropped her charges and he dropped his counter suit.

• Knopf is more than just a little upset with Marie Claire's three-part diet series that sounds a little too similar to its own French Woman Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano.

• 50 Cent's G-Unit cohorts Lloyd Banks and Young Buck are facing felony gun possession charges after cops found loaded weapons during a traffic stop after their Anger Management concert at Madison Square Garden.

• Fresh from serving a year in prison, rapper Beanie Sigel is already on the road to promote his autobiographical DVD.

• Montell Williams is reportedly being courted to join the morning show Good Day New York. His guest spots on the show have gone over well with viewers and now producers want to offer him a regular paycheck.

• CNN is greenlighting a commercial from pro-abortion group NARAL that attacks Supreme Court nominee John Roberts with bloody images of an abortion clinic bombing.

• Former New York Post publisher Abe Hirschfeld is dead at age 85. You might also know him for building parking garages and serving nearly two years in prison for conspiring to kill a business partner.