Nicholas Cage, you need to stop swigging whatever suckerade you've gotten your hands on, because lately you are box office poison. You managed to deal Neil LaBute a raw hand when you two did The Wicker Man and turned it into an unintentional comedy, no one saw your Indiana Jones rip-off National Treasure series, and now your newest star vehicle, Bangkok Dangerous, placed number one in the box office with a dismal $7.9 million this weekend, making it officially the worst fall season opening since 2001. And by 2001, we mean the weekend immediately following 9/11, when nobody felt like being entertained or trapped in a building with the lights off.
Do you know what that means, Nicholas Cage?
CONTINUED »
Advertising regulations exist to keep the consumer safe. This is why tobacco companies can't advertise near churches or schools, why hardcore sex is not appropriate for subway station billboard, and why MySpace should be kept away from public parks where hateful children might congregate. But sometimes advertising rules are a bit too strict and are less about protecting the consumer than punishing the advertiser. That's basically the case with Wanted, the Angelina Jolie/James McAvoy assassin flick that already stormed through the U.S. But it's just hitting in Britain, and ads like this one have been yanked — because they glorify Dick Cheney's favorite hobby sport: violence.
CONTINUED »
'Disaster Movie has been voted the worst movie of all time by the users of the Internet Movie Database. The film is currently getting a 1.3 out of 10 rating with 4,066 votes. Earlier this year, Paris Hilton’s The Hottie and the Nottie hit the dreaded #1 spot after only one week of release (the film currently sits at #14).' [Slashfilm]
The accolades for Tom Cruise's brief cameo in Tropic Thunder last week were followed by even louder backlash against the once-admired-now-ridiculed star. Mr. Scientology's last big number was Lion for Lambs, the dismal think-piece propped up by Cruise's own company United Artists. The fact that his partner at UA, Paula Wagner, just quit five days ago isn't helping matters. So you would think Cruise would finally, mercifully, vanish into the background noise like so many other mediocre celebrities, at least until his lost his back fat. Mais non, quel dommage:
CONTINUED »
'Worldwide Entertainment Group, the company behind [National Lampoon's Pledge This! ], is suing [Paris Hilton]for $75,000 because they claim she did not fulfill the "reasonable promotion and publicity" part of her agreement.' [OK!]
We've come to the conclusion that Dane Cook is a genius, because one simple MySpace (yes, we're still trolling that site this afternoon) rant has gotten more people talking about his upcoming movie than should be allowed.
Apparently Dane has an issue with the movie's poster and has decided to point out every little thing that's wrong with it ("My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina"), much like a teenage girl who feels the urge to criticize every acceptable picture of herself in a quest for gratification.
Welp, with Prince of Persia, you’ve done it again, Hollywood! You’ve toyed with history in order to cast a very white person in a heroic role probably more suited for a person of color, just so that other white people will be comfortable spending their money to see it.
Salim Hamdan was just sentenced to five and half years for chauffeuring Osama bin Laden through McDonald's drive-thrus, or whatever the Afghani equivalent is, while he plotted the 9/11 attacks. Hamdan has been holed up in Guantanamo Bay for over five years without a trial, so he's actually eligible for release in five months, although Bush & Co. have threatened to hold him indefinitely after he has served him time. The media has been all over the story because 1) Not every programming minute can be filled by the Olympics; and 2) It potentially sets a precedent for suspected terrorists to receive something looking like a fair trial.
ANYWAY, this story has been blasted to death, but is not dead yet! Much like Oliver Stone's treatment of the Bush dynasty in W, Hamden's story has been optioned for film a little too soon for comfort. Like, jeez, this story has been around for five years but has only gained momentum in the last month or so, which is right around the time that hunky leading man and bad motorcyclist George Clooney bought the rights to The Challenge, journalist Jonathan Mahler's tale of the indicted Yemenite. Can't we let the headline cool, and its effects settle in, before ripping it into a feature? CONTINUED »
HBO celebrity and man tramp Adrian Grenier has been seen in recent months running around Hollywood armed with a SLR camera and a smirk. Nobody knew exactly what he was doing — okay, they totally did — but posing as a paparazzo and traveling among the stalkerazzi was all part of something tangible: Paparazzi, the Entourage star's documentary about the industry, which is shopping for a distributor. It comes complete with commentary from Martin Landau, Noam Chomsky, and Whoopi Goldberg about what it's like to be famous in an era of non-stop privacy invasions. Funny, because real paparazzi do not photograph any of those celebrities. But Grenier does turn to MySpace CEO accessory Paris Hilton for expertise in crotch flashing. His film centers around a 14-year-old photographer who snapped his picture. Touching. But that wasn't our favorite Grenier paparazzi moment. This is: CONTINUED »
First they said the recession was hitting Hollywood hard, forcing fat cats to – gasp! – fly business class instead of first. Then they said industry profits were actually increasing. Now, they’re back to saying Hollywood’s screwed, despite the fact that The Dark Knight is making more money than should be legal:
Britney Spears is rapidly attempting to get her career back on track, what with the promise of a new album and her recent stints on How I Met Your Mother — but news that Quentin Tarantino has cast her as a lesbian killer in his next film, a remake of 1965's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is a bit of a surprise. Brit's potential role is that of stripper Varla, who murders a man with her bare hands and then takes his girlfriend hostage. Oh, and there's sex scenes with another female. Of course.
Despite The Dark Knight climbing to $400 million, Hollywood is not the place where cash is guaranteed to be made. Major studios like Paramount are begging foreign banks for capital, to no avail.
But Tinseltown is still a shiny playground for those with cash to toss around — and still glossy enough to attract the inexperienced.
This week, Time Inc. announced that it would be extending its brand by making films from Sports Illustrated, Time, Fortune, and even Life articles; SI's April piece "Breaking the Bank," about the alleged criminal exploits of a Ultimate Fighting Championship competitor, is first up. With a seven-figure investment fund from XYZ Films, the publisher will option its own stories with big screen dreams.
And while a media giant like Time Inc. moving into film might not be too much a stretch — it does have parent Time Warner to fall back on, for the time being — what happens when the idea of making a feature film sounds appealing to … a fragrance company? Something worse than a Guy Ritchie flick, most likely. CONTINUED »
LA Times writer Eric P. Lucas has had enough of the Heath Ledger hype and wrote a strongly-worded article to argue otherwise. Except instead of convincing everyone that the Oscar buzz is unnecessary, he makes the fatal mistake of insulting Heath and sending his diehard fans into an angry frenzy.
A movie industry publicist plays a few roles. It is her (and these people are often shes) job to coordinate those obnoxious three-minute celebrity interviews that even blogs can partake in; there, it's her duty to make sure things like this don't happen.
It's also her job to coordinate step-and-repeats and the usual red carpet drama at movie premieres, selecting which media outlets get how much time with her client; inevitably, tabloid TV shows and anybody else with a video camera get the most time, while reporters with a handheld tape recorder will be lucky to stand next to somebody who gets to ask questions.
But the biggest part of a publicist's job? Making sure her asshole entitled client has bottle service reservations at a handful of clubs (because his tastes can change on whim) for the movie premiere's after-after party, and that the right food from a restaurant that hasn't opened yet, and doesn't offer take out, is served hot on her client's private plane. CONTINUED »
Harvey Weinstein, who is worth, like, a gazillion dollars, and made all that money through ridiculously successful movies and then by selling his company, is mad that the American public, and the media, do not appreciate the art house films he's so passionate about. And that's why there is crap filling the cineplex! Also, Weinstein is making these complaints on Portfolio's new blog "Playas," a ridiculous name matched only by the equally ridiculous VIP velvet rope logo. And the ridiculous Harvey Weinstein.
From the same think thank that might as well have brought you cineplex disaster Meet Dave comes word that Dan Rather's legacy might hit the big screen. Hollywood producer Mikkel Bondesen (of USA's Burn Notice) and screenwriter James Vanderbilt (of Zodiac and Spider-Man 4) are working to bring to life the book from Rather's former CBS News producer Mary Mapes, who defends the current HDNet anchor and slams her CBS bosses for their behavior during Memogate. Supposedly, all of CBS/Viacom's dealings make for a nice White House conspiracy theory. They also thought that about Vantage Point. So, yeah, no.
With Simon Pegg as Sidney (Toby) Young and Jeff Bridges as Clayton (Graydon) Carter, How to Lose Alienate People will bring to life the author's mildly fictionalized account of working as the Vanity Fair editor's assistant in the Big Apple. Herewith, the movie's trailer, which is worth watching if only because Kirsten Dunst appears in it, and you do not immediately want to hit her.
"Richard Roeper said in a statement late Sunday that he will leave television's "At the Movies With Ebert & Roeper" next month after eight years, having failed to reach agreement with Disney-ABC Domestic Television on a new contract." [Chi-Tri]
No surprise here: The Dark Knight raked in over $155 million this weekend and broke a bunch of box office records. The latest Batman movie also became my latest obsession (see also: Jason Castro), inspiring me to see it twice in under 48 hours.
For those of you who saw it, click through for my favorite moments from the film and then feel free to add your own.
If it's a big deal movie project with Tom Cruise attached, then there's bound to be trouble in Tinseltown. Furniture assailant Cruise is already facing an uphill battle just to get his Nazi flick Valkyrie into theatres; it's been pushed back countless times, and should now arrive in a the cineplex on February 13, a cool $25 billion over budget. But that's not the only project Cruise is having a tough time getting his way with.
Columbia Pictures' Edwin A. Salt was supposed to star Cruise as a fictional CIA officer exposed as a spy. Then he went and demanded a $20 million payday, unaware that his status in Hollywood is one notch above, or below, "joke," and that those blockbuster salaries are usually reserved for actors whose first names are Will and whose last names are Smith.
There's also the fact that Cruise is an old man now, and he's got back fat. CONTINUED »
