During last night's 11pm premiere of original Canadian-imported SOAPnet soap opera MVP, about a group of well-paid hockey players, the following pop culture primetime soap cliches were maintained:

• Someone died
• The guy who died was last seen snorting coke with an AmEx Platinum card off a mirror
• A sex tape was made (with a young lass)
• The hot guys take their shirts off — in and out of the locker room
• The cougars are on the prowl
• The paparazzi cause trouble

The only thing missing? A homo. Actually, they've got that too, but he's just a bit part, not a locker room patron.

See how MVP keeps it classy (see bullet point #4 above), below.

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