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By now you've heard the news: The season finale of Law & Order: SVU won't be about a father who kills his wife and baby, but rather the trio of celebrity guest spots. Star Jones is popping up as a prosecutor, Nancy Grace plays herself, and Ludacris is … well, we're not sure what he's doing there. Maybe he's the one who finds the body in the opening scene?

Either way, while the network is expecting a ratings boost, not everyone is thrilled with the new additions. A NBC source tells us SVU stars Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay are anything but pleased about the new arrivals.

Says our insider: "It's the season finale. They wanted [the last show] to be about them … and now [producers] are bringing in all this star power. They're pissed." Adds our source: "Mostly, it's about Star Jones. Nobody wants her on the show. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how her agent got her [this role]."

To which producers replied – in the imaginary conversation we just had with them – "Chris and Mariska just got huge pay raises. Tell 'em to fuck off."

All that chatter about Star Jones taking to the set of Law & Order: SVU (accompanied by Ludacris) is almost worth swatting away with word that cable news emotionado Nancy Grace is also set to appear — playing herself. You can see where this is headed.

She will appear offering faux legal commentary during the season finale of NBC's "Law & Order: SVU," NBC said on Tuesday. She will talk about a case involving a man charged with killing a woman and her baby.

Here's hoping Dick Wolf & Co. have a sense of humor about things and give Nancy a script she's used to: "And did you feel any guilt as you slid that knife through your wife's throat? And did you feel any pangs of sorrow as you held that pillow over your baby's face? Do you feel any remorse at all? Also, did you know Natalee Holloway personally?"

In case you didn't know, yesterday marked Nancy Grace's two-year anniversary as resident crazy at Headline News.

And oh, how quickly the time flies.

From the memorable SNL parodies to her solid contribution to the Cable Quotables All-Stars, to the recent tongue-lashing from Keith Olbermann, Nancy has lit up our lives in more ways than we can count.

And now she's generously decided to give us an extra special, two-year anniversary present:

I want to share something very special with you. Tonight marks two years since we first aired here on Headline News. Thank you to Headline News, of course, but especially to you, for making our dream come true.

Every night, we try our best to take the same message I carried to juries… across the airwaves. And, also, thank you especially to executive producer Dean, our creative inspiration, and Elizabeth, our senior producer and the backbone of our show, and to our staff.

And to all of you out there with a dream, we are living proof it can come true.

Forget about that sometimes jet-setting Speaker of the House, because Grace is clearly more deserving of that "Non-Stop Nancy" moniker. Say, anyone else remember the time Larry King called her "harpoonish?"

Okay, so you know how Intern Wendy's always putting together those helpful Cable Quotables?

Well, apparently, she's not the only one getting a chuckle (and/or a shudder) out of television's most radical** news anchors.

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Keith Olbermann proves he's a one-man punchline when it comes to knocking frequent CQ targets, The Coop, Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace.

And, as always, "The Big O" isn't holding anything back:

Anderson Cooper: "…He is the only person who has not been informed that he is a marketing experiment."

Glenn Beck: "A wolf in sheep's clothing. A very dangerously bigoted guy who's selling himself as a pragmatic philosopher. I don't think he sees his own bigotry. There's something about him that suggests one night he will say something that costs him his career in television."

Nancy Grace: "Anybody who would embellish the story of their own fiance's murder should spend that hour a day not on television but in a psychiatrist's chair. Really."

Don't worry, Wendy— your internship is safe with us. Because, fortunately, with all the crazies fronting their own agenda-fueled tv shows nowadays, there's more than enough material to go around.

Besides, it's Olbermann who should probably to watch his step from now on. Because the "countdown" to the inevitable media retaliation (from his favorite right-wing punchbags) starts…NOW.

**NOTE: We mean "radical" in the non-surfer sense of the word.

Usually you have to turn to Keith Olbermann for a semi-coherent Bill O'Reilly attack. Now, you just have to gaze across the dial to CNN, where Larry King is actually expressing an opinion besides "it was the best thriller movie I've ever seen!" Usually content with farting in his chair and letting his guests read from their press release, Lar is speaking up for cable hosts everywhere: Down with O'Reilly, down with Nancy Grace, up with the people!

King is no fan of the current generation of talk-show hosts, who use their guests as props or punching bags. He calls them "I" hosts, because they are more interested in lecturing their guests than listening to them.

"I hope I never do that," he says. "I'm not saying it's bad. If you watch Bill O'Reilly, that is Bill O'Reilly. It's not my cup of tea, I don't care for it, but I can understand why a lot of viewers do. . . .

'Nancy Grace, I don't think she has an `interviewing style.' She's a prosecutor. It's a prosecutorial style. Very accusatory, harpoonish. I don't think it's fair to the judicial system. I believe in the presumption of innocence. When I do a show, I make sure both sides are represented."

Indeed he does make sure both sides get a say. Like the time he had Kathy Griffin on his show — both her freakish eyebrows were invited guests.

Joe Scarborough is clearly the star of today's Cable Quotables, as Intern Wendy zeroes in on cable news' forgotten icon. In the era of Anderson Coopers and Keith Olbermanns, it's easy to forget the chatty former congressman. Until he starts talking about panties.

• “We ruined their country? It was kind of crappy country to begin with.” —Tucker Carlson, blowing his chances to be Iraq’s Minister of Tourism, Tucker, January 2

• "I mean, she‘s an artist, a singer, a painter, a vaginal rejuvenation consultant. That‘s a lot to carry on your shoulders." —Chelsea Handler, sticking up for Paris Hilton, Scarborough Country, January 2

• "Well, I‘ll tell you what, most of the girls that I dated that lived in double-wides, I would just guess they probably wore underwear." —Joe Scarborough, whose girlfriends never let him get past first base, Scarborough Country, January 3

• "A little less conversation; a little more action, baby." —Joe Scarborough, giving advice on a happy marriage, Scarborough Country, January 4

• "Hey, hey, hey! There`s not strength in numbers on this show, Burns!" —Nancy Grace, alone in her insanity, Nancy Grace, January 4

Yeah, yeah, MSNBC's ratings are doing better, all thanks to Keith Olbermann. While FNC is slipping, it's still leading the pack. And CNN? Break that race horse's ankles and it's still going to cross the finish line. But what about the bitches of cable news — those secondary networks like CNBC that are more or less experiments in brand extension? For CNN Headline News, things are looking up, thanks to a one Glenn Beck and a little lady named Nancy Grace.

Headline News is a channel that averages 337,000 viewers in prime time, a 59 percent increase from the 212,000 viewers it attracted before changing formats two years ago. Grace and radio talk-show host Glenn Beck are making a lot of noise–not just arguing with people but, alas, in terms of ratings.

Where Headline News averaged around 200,000 viewers before Grace's arrival, it now does better than a half-million in her time period. The ratings for Beck's slot since he arrived in May, and bumped "Showbiz Tonight" to another time, are up 65 percent. Among viewers age 18 to 49, he's up 95 percent.

Though to be fair, Amy Poehler deserves some credit: Without the SNL comic's regular impersonations, a good 12 or 14 people might not know the true beauty that shines through when Nancy starts attacking one of her guests. Not sure about you, but a fight between two pit bulls will never hold our interest; we need a Doberman going after a Mini Schnauzer.

Continuing Nancy Grace week here on Jossip, Intern Wendy brings us an all-Nancy Grace edition of Cable Quotables, where we learn she's not entirely turned on by Sacha Baron Cohen man handling that fat guy with the invisible penis.

• “I don`t know if you`ve seen the movie, but I was there on opening day with all the other 12-year-olds at the matinee. I tried to arrest them all for truancy, but the movie was starting.” —Nancy Grace, hanging out with future perps, Nancy Grace, December 12

• “Why is everybody so mad? Other than the nude male wrestling scene, I loved the movie." —Nancy Grace, fantasizing about sexytime with Borat, Nancy Grace, December 12

• “Did he mention my back hair?" —Nancy Grace, who doesn't need to go commando to be hot, Nancy Grace, December 12

• “The last time I rang your doorbell, God help me, all I saw were fangs coming at the front door.” —Nancy Grace, bonding with pitbulls, Nancy Grace, December 13

Besides wasting our weekend with CNN and Time, we spent an hour or so skimming through Justin Timberlake's SNL hosting routine, where our clicker happily stopped on Nancy Grace's holiday message, courtesy Amy Poehler. It's a shame the Duke rape scandal seems to be winding down; now the lacrosse stick we bought her as a gift is going to seem so out of place.

It's clear that with all the drink talk in today's CQ, Intern Wendy was kicking back a few by herself. How else to get through Neil Cavuto's monologue about his Rupert alone time?

• “I don‘t think the cardboard cut outs are going to work, because if you are propositioning a cardboard cut out, you have really fallen on hard times. I hope people don‘t buy those hookers.” —Willie Geist, depressed that NBC 2.0 can’t afford real hookers, Tucker, December 5

• “By the way, Kathy's parents also drink wine by, like, the gallon jug on her show, which is always — always good.” —Anderson Cooper, sharing his knowledge of Kathy Griffin's drinking habits, Larry King Live, December 5

• "Can you smell vodka? I say you can smell vodka. Dean says you can smell vodka. Ellie, Ellie, you`re the expert. Can you smell it?" —Nancy Grace, longing for liquor, Nancy Grace, December 5

CONTINUED »

As she chronicled the cable news chatter for last week, Intern Wendy suddenly found herself in the middle of what looks to be an on-air announcement of a specific NBC 2.0 casualty. Tucker, the new home for layoffs.

• “Before we get started here Tucker, Ian Friedman, our great producer, is leaving us, his last day on the show. He‘s going to greener pastures, Los Angeles, chase his dream to become a porn producer and we couldn‘t be more excited for him. “ —Willie Geist, showing how NBC 2.0 can lead to exciting career opportunities, Tucker, December 1

• “Ridiculous? It will be if nobody shows up. Very lonely.” —Bill O’Reilly, potential lonely guy, if nobody shows up for his book signing, The O’Reilly Factor, November 30

CONTINUED »

• That blog you're so crazy about launching? You're lucky if you've got five, even three people reading it.

• Only the suburbs can save the NYT.

• 50 Cent takes a minute away from selling records to white kids to call Oprah out on ignoring her blackness.

• California teens now have their own tabloid, just for them. It's like Tiger Beat with grown up tastes. And it's OK!, with taste.

• Nancy Grace, or at least her PR team, attempt to turn every footstep into a positive PR opportunity. Except, surprisingly, in one instance.

• CBS's attempt to tell YouTube types what's funny is, as you'd expect, not working.

• Dow Jones creates new bureaucracy to cut down on redundancy.

• Mariah Carey may only want you for Christmas, but all we want is that NYO subscription.

What's Cable Quotables doing here on a Thursday? It's a special bonus round of CQ, courtesy Intern Wendy. But we're making it extra-special for you, with an all-Nancy Grace edition. You know, 'cause that "might have influenced a woman to kill herself" girl doesn't get enough attention! Double bubble bonus: Nancy's topics of conversation all include either Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or Lindsay Lohan.

• "I guess — I don't know, maybe she`s a vampire and she stays awake all night and sleeps all day." — On "blood sucker" Paris Hilton.

CONTINUED »

• Richard Huff is the only one routing for Real World Denver.

• The family of the woman who killed herself just after appearing on Nancy Grace's show? Yeah, they're suing Nancy and CNN.

• Washington Post loses two top staffers to – god – a website.

• The "models and bottles" saga continues on LX.tv. To make up for it, we hear LX is doing a round of Thanksgiving philanthropic specials.

• Robert Altman, the man behind MASH and Gosford Park, is dead at 81. Elsewhere, Broadcasting & Cable loses business editor John Higgins to a heart attack.

• David Shuster eats his word. Literally.

Nancy Grace appearing on Jeopardy? Does this woman have no faith in the cast of Saturday Night Live to write their own sketches? Flanked by Regis Philbin and Carson Kressley, the CNN Headline News anchor taped a Jeopardy show a few weeks ago, airing tomorrow, as part of a month-long celebrity tournament, reports Don Kaplan. Boisterous hilarity, as you'd imagine, ensued.

Grace, best known for her take-no-prisoners on-air style, was true-to-form during the taping of the show.

She had all sorts of trouble selecting from the various categories of trivia, and kept offering her choice in the form of a question, according to reports from audience members who saw the taping a few weeks ago at Radio City Music Hall.

Such as, "I'll take Don't You Feel Guilty For Your Daughter's Death? for $400, Alex."

As Intern Wendy will have you know, it's been a string of doozies for the cable network chattering class. With this election thing going down, it seems all they can talk about is politics. Well, except on Nancy Grace, where nothing close to reality is ever discussed.

• "In fact, if ever find bin Laden, put in a room with Naomi, justice will be served. She’ll end up in a burka and he’ll be dead." Michael Musto, betting Naomi Campbell could beat Osama bin Laden senseless, Countdown, October 26

• "Studying the masturbation habits of old men? . . . What about Vietnamese hookers? Do you have a problem with those? . . . What about transvestite Eskimos. Is there a single one in your district?" Tucker Carlson, asking the questions voters really care about, Tucker, October 26

• "Well, Gloria Allred, it's a good thing that here in America, just because someone disapproves of your lifestyle, they can`t boot you out of country, huh? … I frankly think you would have been gone a long time ago, Gloria." Nancy Grace, planning to send Gloria Allred to the Bahamas, Nancy Grace, October 26

• "If you are a serious journalist, you want to report the news. Sometimes the news is good, sometimes the news isn't so good." Wolf Blitzer, explaining to Lynne Cheney why he doesn't work for Fox News, The Situation Room, October 27

• "I sometimes listen to Don Imus in the morning on the grounds that, whatever is going to happen to me during the day, it can't be as bad as what's been said about me first thing in the morning while I'm shaving." Dick Cheney, revealing why Don Imus has job security at MSNBC, Your World With Neil Cavuto, October 30

• "It's like a telethon without a disease." Jack Cafferty, pondering Wolf Blitzer's marathon election coverage, The Situation Room, October 30

Nancy Grace talking about anal sex? That's better than watching both Saturday Night Live and Studio 60 parody her. And it's why Intern Wendy sticks around these parts.

• "Well, full disclosure here, before we really get going here. I was, at one time, a Hulkamaniac. I had the T-shirt, the whole thing. My parents had to strip the shirt off me." Willie Gest, unleasing his inner wrestler, Tucker, October 23

• "Wa, wa, wait, wait! Consensual anal sex? I think you left that part out." Nancy Grace, on taking it in the ass, Nancy Grace, October 24

• "Both, both and a gun." Chelsea Handler, on who she would choose between Rosie O'Donnell and David Hasselhoff, Scarborough Country, October 24

• "Well, Glenn, I am a journalist, after all." Erica Hill, trying to figure out what Glenn Beck is, Glenn Beck, October 24

• "Here we have Pole Dancing with the Stars. This could be a big hit. But if Paris gets in a competition with the pole, she might lose, you know? That pole is not only smarter than her, it‘s got more talent, and it‘s about the same shape." Tom O'Neill, revealing Paris Hilton's next career move, Scarborough Country, October 25

Amy Poehler's version of Nancy Grace is almost too entertaining for Saturday Night Live. This type of entertainment is more suited for, say, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Or Dateline: To Catch a Predator.

We know they only reason you look forward to Fridays is for Intern Wendy's Cable Quotables. So we'll skip the chatter. Really, nothing we can say is funnier than a monkey smelling Anderson Cooper's armpit. So on a dreary, cold day like this, let Bill O'Reilly's analysis of drunk bears liven up your day. Chew slowly.

• “How many — as a clown, how many people do you think you could fit inside a city bus?” — Tucker Carlson, considering future career possibilities, Tucker, October 3

• “OK. Let`s unchain the lawyers” —Nancy Grace, who likes her lawyers tied up, Nancy Grace, October 3

• “This bear is drunk. He was spotted near Lyons, Colorado, hammered on fermented apples. This bear needs rehab. Intervention. Can’t be having stoned bears running around. What would Yogi say? He would say it’s ridiculous. Get that bear into rehab.” —Bill O’Reilly, doing an intervention, The O’Reilly Factor, October 4

• “It‘s great talking to you when it doesn‘t have anything to do with Nancy Grace.” —Joe Scarborough, making Robi Ludwigfeel welcome, Scarborough Country, October 4

• “This is a gorilla named Utabari. . . . She’s now smelling my armpit.” —Anderson Cooper, monkey magnet, Anderson Cooper 360, October 4

• “There’s only so much cotton candy and vomit I can take.” —Miles O’Brien, on why he hates Disneyland, October 5

Everyone in this industry is subject to criticism — especially big-mouthed ladies like Nancy Grace. And though we didn't see this on TV Newser's blog, our devoted Intern Wendy found the quality video on You Tube.

Notice Grace's grace under fire, replying "well, this is America and everyone has an opinion."

We would've gone with our standard , "yeah, we'll you're a fuckwit hick" response. (Which is probably just one more reason why we haven't been asked to host a cable news show.)

Caller cusses at Nancy Grace [You Tube]