BriWi is about one major coverage short of a nervous breakdown. It's already duly noted that NBC is scheduling Williams so many places at once that he can't even blog, but that was apparently just the beginning:

From the Olympics in Beijing to the Democratic convention in Denver to Hurricane Gustav coverage in New Orleans to the Republicans in St. Paul to L.A. tomorrow for a cancer awareness special with his Big 3 competitors.

By Williams' calculation, it comes to 38,486 miles — including two Pacific crossings, two Atlantic crossings and 10 overseas cities.

All in less than a month, remember. Well that explains why he's getting so snippy when talking about Bristol Palin, "Families are messy and complicated and American and normal…it's where public officials kind of close the door behind them. Home is home. Family's family."

Here that America? Brian Williams wants you to stop the clamoring so he can finally catch some Z's.

Just when you thought it was safe to turn off the TV and open a magazine, CBS announced it will be taking out 20 pages in next week's People to promote their new fall line-up. Not only is this an unholy synergy of print and television, but it's already been done before. Watch out ABC: CBS' newest creative director, Lesli Lawrence, is going over to your gym and secretly videotaping your guys' moves.

Nielsen, the Big Brother-esque media group that measures television consumption, is currently asking panel members to carry around teeny-tiny audio devices that react to "digital signals of audio media" to measure the amount of television being watched outside the home.

What does this mean for you? Once these numbers come out, Nielsen, which is responsible for all media ratings (when's the last time someone cited TNS' numbers?), will be able to tell you how much television we're sneaking in when away from our living rooms. The hours you waste watching Adult Swim at the office on your MacBook? Suddenly quantifiable!

And of course, you know what network whines all the time about not being able to accurately determine their viewership:

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David Letterman, the CBS Late Show host who's being bested in the ratings by Nightline, doesn't "know why, after the job Jay [Leno] has done for them, why they would relinquish that."

"They," of course, being NBC, which wanted to badly to hold on to Conan O'Brien they promised him the premiere Late Show spot, effectively ousting Leno — according to everybody — prematurely.

Letterman is speaking to Rolling Stone, supposedly his first real print interview since 1996, and it'd be easy to assume that he's taking a sarcastic cheap shot at his former friend-cum-nemesis, who beat him out for the Johnny Carson slot in 1993, forcing him to the less stellar CBS. The two don't exactly speak anymore, and they sometimes trade barbs. But such is the nature of the tiny world of comedy. And Letterman's comments about Leno don't come across as carpet bombs, but as a genuine olive branch to the only man who arguably makes him try harder at his own job.

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In a letter to NBC, the Asian American Journalists Association writes: 'It's difficult to believe in this day and age, and immediately following an Olympics hosted by China, that "Today" host Kathie Lee Gifford chose to relate on national television an "amusing" anecdote about Al Roker sending birthday greetings to her in a mock "Chinese" accent. If that weren't bad enough, Gifford decided to spice up her performance by squinting her eyes into slits. Gifford's performance had all the wit and subtlety of a schoolyard taunt. All that were missing were the buck teeth and Coke-bottle glasses.'

In the far off year of 2014, the Olympics might leave their home at NBC and arrive at ESPN. But for the next four years, through 2012, Jeff Zucker's network has the exclusive broadcast rights. And the possibility of them changing hands is a big maybe — IOC officials are beyond pleased with the ratings records NBC Universal's slate of networks captured, which means you can expect their fees to increase from 2008's $894 million.

Will EPSN have the cash? Perhaps. Parent Disney has the bucks to have a seat at the table, and the media giant has its own roster of channels, including ABC, ABC Family, SoapNet, The Disney Channel, and ESPN's endless spin-offs, to rack up new programming hour records.

But none of that really explains why ESPN decided to run this ad in the New York Times and USA Today. Though it doesn't mention NBC, it certainly congratulates the competition on a job well done, turning Michael Phelps' swim meets into a national obsession.

So here's to self deprecation. And the mystery behind it.

NBC has announced plans to stream premieres of several of its new season's lineup on the Internet, via the ad-happy HD video-player Hulu. Important in a "Long live the new flesh" Videodrome/new media kind of way, unimportant since the episodes will be the season openers of Chuck, Lipstick Jungle, and Life.

And, lest anyone mericfully forgets its existence, NBC's newest causality of Ben Silverman, the re-imagined Knight Rider, will also be debuting online.

So is this news? Technically. NBC already streams most of their shows (but not as a first-look sort of thing) on their website. But there are several shows that would have been a way better fit for a YA-friendly site like Hulu than these duds:

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This fall on NBC: The network's programming co-chair and embarrassing American Ben Silverman — seen here looking, um, completely sober — and Teri Weinberg, the Reveille topper he brought to the peacock, are pinned to the cross while Silverman's title-sharing partner Marc Graboff takes over with Katherine Pope. "Up to now, it's been only Silverman's salesmanship, not his executive or programming skills (and certainly not his childish stunts like reviving the NBC chimes), that has helped the 4th place network. I'm told NBC was impressed that his relationships with advertisers put "several hundred millions of dollars" of additional revenue into the network's 2008/2009 upfront sales. But that doesn't offset the fact that Silverman is widely seen as a major disappointment. [...] NBC is hoping that Silverman jumps before he is pushed. And several sources have information to believe there is every reason that Ben is a short-timer." [DHD] But he did get an Entourage cameo out of all this.

NBC is a jealous mistress. Among rumors that Michael Phelps is bedding Stephanie Rice (and whoever else he wants) the peacock station wants to draw their beloved cash-cow back into the warm bosom of their network.

Fair enough, but couldn't they find a better program than Saturday Night Live to showcase Phelps? The Olympic swimmer will be hosting the first episode of the season, which is sure to get off to a bang considering that America has never even heard Phelps speak. There is always a noticeable downturn in the quality of the comedy whenever the guest-host is a famous athlete:

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On NBC Sports chief Dick Ebersol's list of musts heading into the 2008 Beijing Olympics: 1) Get China to move its Olympics bid date four weeks up so it wouldn't compete with fall sports, TV premieres, and children having to be in school; 2) Get Michael Phelps and other star athletes on board with competing in primetime; and 3) Get Phelps to shill for NBC's entire Olympics marketing strategy, which he did, supposedly, for $0. Congrats, Ebersol, you went 3-for-3. [NYT]

Poor BriWi; the man's schedule for the last couple weeks has been tres hectic. Full Olympic coverage in Beijing, now Denver to cover the DNC, and maybe NBC will give him five hours to sleep (read: blog) if he's lucky.

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Youth vote correspondent and nepotism beneficiary Luke Russert began his DNC reports yesterday with a Chris Matthews sit down. There, he noted the high temperatures in Denver, repeated something Chuck Todd had to explain to him (that Obama needs to win the 18-34 vote by 20 points to beat McCain), reminded viewers young people are lazy shits who need to be reminded via text message about Election Day, and schooled Chris Matthews on Facebook. CHRIS MATTHEWS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT FACEBOOK IS. Jesus. This is Barack "Web 2.0" Obama's biggest cheerleader?

The only redeeming quality of young Russert's contribution so far? That he wouldn't let Matthews interrupt him. Video down here:

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JOSSIP REPORTS — With budgets already stretched thin — do you know how much Keith Olbermann costs? — cable networks like MSNBC find themselves covering one of the most expensive presidential election cycles ever. Those primaries went on for eternity, and the DNC and RNC will demand a few million more bucks. And then there's the damn presidential debates still coming!

All those costs explain why network head Phil Griffin has handed down travel restrictions — namely, the number of producers heading to Denver and St. Paul is nothing like it was just four years ago, we're told. Well-placed informants tell us many producers who went to the conventions in '04 aren't going to either the DNC or RNC this year, while the producers who did make the cut will have to pull double or triple duty, handling multiple talent at the same time.

Sounds pretty crappy, but cutbacks are the reality, right?

Well, it's the reality for everyone — except a one Andrea Mitchell.

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Jeff Zucker might be a little confused as to why 30 million people tuned in to the Beijing Olympics for the swimming competition this year: It's not because America suddenly became fascinated with the breast-stroke or 100-meter relay. It's because Michael Phelps wore a Speedo and totally dominated the event.

But NBC convinced itself all of America must have suddenly taken up swimming spectating as their favorite new hobby, which is why NBC Sports inked a deal to broadcast the 2009 World Swimming Championships and 2009 USA Swimming National Championships from Rome next August, along with the the 2010 and 2011 games.

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One television watcher is surprised that, after paying nearly $900 million for domestic broadcast rights for the Olympics, NBC wants to talk about the games endlessly, even on its news program. [WaPo]