Oh, Law and Order. Is there any better program to watch while sick or high or bored, except maybe Golden Girls? For years now Dick Wolf has managed to employ every actor that has ever come to New York, and the subject has been ripe with parody amongst NYC comedians whose only big break was being "brother of the victim" in one of the show's many incarnations.

But who could blame the public for poking fun at the dinosaur? Law and Order is 19 years old, meaning that the episode where Philip Seymor Hoffman plays a rich college asshole probably took place around the time PSH was actually in college. Scary! That man is ageless!

So is NBC finally sending America's favorite two-sided justice system melodrama out to the pasture for permanent syndication? Or does Mr. Big Chris Noth have one more shot at a comeback?

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With the election finally upon us tomorrow, it's time to move beyond who's going to play house in the White House to who's going to fill Meet The Press' moderator chair, to replace Tom Brokaw, who replaced Tim Russert on an interim basis. Back in June, when Russert died, the list of possible candidates included these names: Andrea Mitchell, David Gregory, Katie Couric, Chuck Todd, Gwen Ifill, and Tom Brokaw. Now that we're approaching the timeline of when NBC News will supposedly make a decision — between Nov. 4 and Dec. 31 — the names being floated about are: Andrea Mitchell, David Gregory, Katie Couric, Chuck Todd, Gwen Ifill, and Tom Brokaw. Oh good: Change we can believe in. [NYT, earlier]

Oh, happy days, we've finally come as nation to a point where we can recognize women as strong, independent political figures, not only in the spectrum of legislation or the presidential race (but whoa, Sarah and Hillary!), but as the heavy-hitting inquirers of those politicians as well.

Just look! Salon named Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, and Campbell Brown as three of the central figures in "The Year of the Woman," as they call it. And that's great news!

Sort of.

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Brian Williams of the NBC Nightly News was the last reporter in line to get their interview with Sarah Palin. And the network also got the brunt of the backlash while reporting on the RNC, when Republicans surrounded the cameras and chanted "NBC! NBC!" as some sort of war chant. Although, hell, those sound like fans, not detractors, but who knows.

So why is the McCain camp, and conservatives in general, about as anti-NBC as they are anti-NYT? Well, if you haven't noticed, NBC is just two letters away from MSNBC, that evil biased station with the angry man (not Bill O'Reilly) and the lesbian (not Brian Kilmeade). But NBC does not "control" MSNBC, per se, and their association is only through parent company General Electric's NBC Universal. They are more like estranged siblings (that sometimes share producers and anchors via the NBC News unit) than anything else. Or, you know, so they would have you believe!

But actually, the defense from 30 Rock brass — that the opinions of MSNBC don't impact NBC News proper — might have traction!

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So far this year between two extremely polar candidates, the choice is clear: David Letterman is far superior to Jay Leno. When was the last time you saw Leno with enough cojones to get angry at a political candidate? Or ask any sort of those uncomfortable, what everyone else is thinking sort of questions that David seems so adept at lately?

But give credit where credit is due: It is hilarious that there is a kid out there who a) Knows what Febreeze is, b) Knows the proper usage of Febreeze (to cover up mommy's wacky tobaccy smell when Child Social Services comes over) and, c) Thinks sending letters to Leno is an appropriate forum for their message.

Someone give this "kid" a blog. Unless he or she turns out to be 25 year old intern at NBC, in which case they already have several.

Jennifer Lopez deserves your respect. Here you were, thinking that she was just some middling pop star who's made a career out of having a big booty and being a mediocre triple threat, and then she turns it all around by showing her true face as one of the most devious con artists since that guy who dated Anne Hathaway.

How, you may ask, has J-Lo managed to swindle big bucks from networks like NBC and TLC?

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Martha Stewart guest Luke Russert got his "youth corrrespondent" gig at NBC News because of his father Tim. We might be overstepping by suggesting he got the gig because his father Tim, the well-liked Meet The Press moderator, died, but the timing is there to make the argument. And Russert also ankles a sports radio show with Democratic strategist James Carville, so maybe that qualifies him? Anyhow, it's been Luke's job this election season to go out and measure the temperature of America's young people. Just like in 2004, when George W. Bush litigated his way to the presidency, it was expected a huge turnout of young voters, excited about their first chance to cast a ballot for bureaucracy, would decide the election. Analysts and onlookers who claimed this would happen were, in fact, wrong. But here's Luke Russert, saying the exact same thing in '08: "From what I've seen on the ground, it certainly looks like kids will turn up in bigger numbers this year." Which means, should Russert be dead wrong on this one, and the young person turnout is smaller than expected, Obama might lose! Also up for losing? The modicum of respect among colleagues that Luke is clinging to.

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Maybe Jon Hamm was right in his opening monologue of Saturday Night Live last week: Most people would rather watch Mad Men if it was a dancing competition. But he shouldn't feel bad: apparently everyone would rather watch celebrities dancing than a scripted drama, even if it's full of flying men, telekinesis, and Hayden Panettiere.

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Hope you've cleared your schedules for an Obamarafic night: At 8:00 p.m. Barack will be giving a 30-minute infomercial/speech/nobody knows on CBS, NBC, MSNBC, and Fox. He will also be the guest on The Daily Show tonight, which runs later but should give Jon Stewart's team enough time to scramble together a couple questions regarding this momentous power play.

But what stations were left out of the love-in?

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The Office's Ryan Howard isn't the only NBC character tribute to Ben Silverman, the young "Paris Hilton" exec of programming at the station. Tina Fey also based a 30 Rock character off of the young wunderkind: the closeted slimeball Devin Banks, portrayed with a deep throaty rasp by Will Arnett.

"There are probably four," she quickly replied (even though the show actually went on the air a season before Silverman started at NBC). The nearest, she reckoned, is the devious executive Devin Banks, played by Will Arnett, who is trying to outmaneuver Fey's onscreen boss, Alec Baldwin, for the top job at GE.

One day on the set, Fey recalled, Arnett was waiting to shoot a scene and, noting that he was wearing a silver-hued suit, was goofing around: "Look, I'm a silver man — get it?"

With two of NBC's best comedies already taking potshots at the golden calf, can we predict Ben's future by looking at what happened to his alter-egos?

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Even the most hardcore Democrats are not going to deny that MSNBC's Keith Olbermann is on their side. The man doesn't even pretend to be non-partisan, which of course has him run afoul of producers of late, who took both Keith and Chris Matthews off of election coverage in favor of David Gregory who is more able to at least pretend to be objective.

But for all his bluster and sarcastic rhetoric, is Keith Olbermann really the left's answer to Fox New's Bill O'Reilly, perhaps the most famous GOP villain since Karl Rove?

The two hosts share an antipathy and, frankly, obsession with each other. O'Reilly never mentions Olbermann's name, but attacks NBC relentlessly. "It's the usual for NBC News," he said about Andrea Mitchell's reporting on the clothing story, "trying to diminish the McCain-Palin ticket in any way they can."
Olbermann bragged about how he and Maddow topped O'Reilly the night before among viewers aged 25-to-54 (NBC essentially ignores older viewers, considering them unattractive to advertisers; O'Reilly dominates that audience).

"Happy new contract, Bill," he said, with the song "Celebration" in the background. "We hope you'll enjoy every minute of those four years in third place."

So with all the blistering back-and-forth, is there a way to tell which of the show's your watching if you're not listening for the politics?

Sure there is:

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Oh, now we get why NBC issued that injunction to keep the Weinsteins from moving their baby, Project Runway, from Bravo to Lifetime. At first everyone thought it was just because NBC wasn't given their rights of first refusal when Lifetime offered to buy the show for double the price per episode, something that obviously would help out the drowning Harvey and Bob as they try to keep their company afloat amid massive setback after massive setback.

Turns out, NBC isn't as vindictive as everyone thought, or maybe they are: the peacock is trying to stall the move in order to ready their copycat show.

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Ex-chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan, made comments today alluding to his total lack of foresight when it came to current economic implosion. Addressing a Congressional panel today of the House Oversight Committee, Greenspan warned that things might get worse before they get better re: foreclosure and the roller-coaster Dow.

Well thanks, Alan. Could you have managed to use that incredible vision when you actually could have helped? Like raising interest rates or something?

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JOSSIP IN DEPTH — Viacom. Hearst. Niche Media. Yahoo. Everyone is getting in the layoff game. It's shitty, yes. Nobody likes a job market where talent has no home. Well, except the companies who are hiring, because then we can get you on the cheap! But in big media, the massive staff reductions are symptomatic of the advertising industry. Without marketers spending lavishly, there just aren't the funds for payroll.

But a funny thing happened on the way this freefall: Fox News is spending maniacally! The network resigned Bill O'Reilly to a four-year deal. They stole Glenn Beck away from CNN Headline News for a hefty fee. Sean Hannity re-upped through at least 2012 in a fat deal. And Shep Smith re-upped last year for more cash. They've pretty much done everything to blow their wad on star talent except hire Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (And then there's Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade, who tried his hand at a ridiculous raise and got shot down.)

All this spending has some worried about how Fox is going to pay for all this. Advertising, which Fox relies on to generate a huge chunk of revenue (cable operator carrier fees help too), already looks like a compost pile; this time next year, the industry could look like a used diaper. But it's all about strategy, and signing star power is Fox's bet on remaining the ratings leader even if, as polls suggest, a Democrat ends up in the White House.

But here's the real truth of the matter: After Nov. 4, when America knows who it's going to start blaming in January for being unable to pull us out of this economic mess, you're all fired. Well, not all of you, but a whole crapload of you will be. That's because all the networks overstaff themselves leading up to an election, because these babies require tons of manpower. It began with the extended primary season, when networks had to continue spending to cover two Democratic candidates. And it will continue through election night and a little beyond. But once we know either McCain or Obama is no longer worth our time, Heidi Klum is going to hand deliver your auf'ing.

Like they're doing at NBC.

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Chuck Todd was in the room when the Mcainiac and Palindrone did their one-two step interview with Brian Williams last night. And not to mince words, the NBC News Political Director was a little underwhelmed: "I couldn't see chemistry between John McCain and Sarah Palin. I felt as if we grabbed two people and said 'here, sit next to each other, we are going to conduct an interview.' They are not comfortable with each other yet."

No chemistry between old man and frigid beauty queen? You don't say:

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We've already mentioned how weird it is that a station like Fox News would object to having their broadcasters appear for a half of second in one of John McCain's political ads, or MSNBC for Obama's. So far, Fox, CBS, and NBC have all petitioned YouTube to remove videos that feature any of their on-air talent, even if the broadcasters themselves are openly for one of the candidates. These stations petition YouTube to take down any video ads that feature Katie Couric, Major Garrett, or Keith Olbermann, and YouTube so far has been prompt about the removal.

Okay, sure, that makes sense because technically it's the networks that own the talent's image, and they can't risk ratings damage by coming out in favor of a certain candidate, even if it is obvious to everyone in the world which way MSNBC and Fox staffers are likely to vote. Fine.

But now John McCain has the support of a digital advocacy group called the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which agrees that super-short segments of news footage falls under the fair use doctrine. A grateful but befuddled McCain replies, "A what advocacy group?"

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Against rational thought, NBC has picked up Knight Rider for a full season, its struggling new series that's yet to find an audience (just 6.9m viewers), or a favorable critic. This has more to do with co-chair Ben Silverman — who brought the remake to NBC — trying to save his reputation than giving audiences what they want. But when would the network reverse course and try that?

Some folks can actually see beyond Nov. 4, to a time after Americans know who their next president will be. And who their next Meet The Press moderator will be. Right now, Tom Brokaw is filling in for the deceased Tim Russert, but he's only holding things down till the election. Then, a replacement will be named; some suspect multiple moderators might be chosen (unlikely, say we). David Gregory and Chuck Todd are said to both be serious contenders. They are both white men, just like Russert and Brokaw! Which has led some — including those capable of registering domain names — to urge NBC to consider non-white, non-male candidates. We hear there's some lady named Gwen Ifill?

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Luke Russert whisks eggs with Martha Stewart.

Surprisingly, the NBC News Youth Correspondent is easier to watch when he exploits his sirname on proper national news broadcasts than when he's just being his plain old cocky self on a national morning show. [HP]

Like many publicly traded companies last week, General Electric released its quarterly report and showed a dip in profit ($4.31b this quarter, compared to last year's $5.56b), which was expected. But Friday's paperwork also revealed one startling discovery: The Beijing Olympics, which GE's NBC unit paid nearly $900 million for, and racked up more than $1 billion in revenue? Despite all the cheering about the additional ad dollars squeezed out of every 30-second block, the 2008 Games actually produced a loss for NBC. Or, uh, did it?

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