Recession? Iraq? The Hills? None of them take up enough time to keep Fox News' Neil Cavuto from backhandedly defending Jay Leno and Tucker Carlson while getting in digs at their GE overlords, or Dan Abrams from going after CNN for ripping off his "Beat the Press" segment or their DUMBEST POKER GIMMICK EVER. [TVN]

Neil Cavuto may be a place where Keith Olbermann's potential dinner dates are discussed, but that's not the worst of it. As Stereohyped points out, on Your World this week (before Jordin Sparks was crowned the champ) Neil also welcomed MeMe Roth from the National Action Against Obesity to argue Blake Lewis should win because he's thinner. Or, rather, less prone to heart disease and diabetes.

After all, a show that reaches nearly 30 million people per episode should be promoting diet and exercise for America's youth, not feeling good about body images.

(It's worth visiting the Youtube page for this clip, where MeMe defends herself under the guise of a mission statement.)

It's only semi-ridiculous that porn star Mary Carey claims Keith Olbermann once asked her out on a date. (She declined; something about a boyfriend.) Not so ridiculous that her claim surfaced on Neil Cavuto's show.

It's clear that with all the drink talk in today's CQ, Intern Wendy was kicking back a few by herself. How else to get through Neil Cavuto's monologue about his Rupert alone time?

• “I don‘t think the cardboard cut outs are going to work, because if you are propositioning a cardboard cut out, you have really fallen on hard times. I hope people don‘t buy those hookers.” —Willie Geist, depressed that NBC 2.0 can’t afford real hookers, Tucker, December 5

• “By the way, Kathy's parents also drink wine by, like, the gallon jug on her show, which is always — always good.” —Anderson Cooper, sharing his knowledge of Kathy Griffin's drinking habits, Larry King Live, December 5

• "Can you smell vodka? I say you can smell vodka. Dean says you can smell vodka. Ellie, Ellie, you`re the expert. Can you smell it?" —Nancy Grace, longing for liquor, Nancy Grace, December 5

CONTINUED »

Just because some technical difficulties kept us offline on Friday doesn't mean we're going to deprave you of Intern Wendy's cable news watching and transcript gleaning. Forthwith, her weekly wrap up of primetime chatter that's got Anderson Cooper talking dirty diapers and Nancy Grace dumpster diving for child porn.

• "It's good to know the drunks are still watching the show. And we encourage it. If that means drinking during the afternoon, so be it. But we want you watching." — Willie Geist, thankful that Tucker Carlson's core audience is still watching, Tucker, July 11

• "Joe, got any good emails?" — Keith Olbermann, comparing emails with Joe Scarborough, Countdown, July 11

• "You can get it on Ebay for a lot less than that, Brian." Nancy Grace, giving Michael Jackson attorney Brian Oxman tips on buying copies of kiddie porn books, Nancy Grace, July 12

• "It's a potty training cartoon for children in Japan, complete with music, singing, confetti, even dazzling underwear. They animate the No. 1 and even the No. 2s. Sing along, Erica." Anderson Cooper, who obviously thinks Erica Hill needs Depends, Anderson Cooper 360, July 12

• "Albert Einstein: genius, Nobel-winning physicist, stud muffin. He is human and funny and, apparently, he is horny." — Neil Cavuto, inadvertently comparing Albert Einstein with Bill O'Reilly, Your World With Neil Cavuto, July 12

• "But first, the story that Keith Olbermann's producers are making me do." — Joe Scarborough, passing the buck for covering Tom Cruise, Scarborough Country, July 12