• Dakota Fanning's parents don't want their creepily mature 12 year old daughter dialing Tom Cruise on his private Scientology-conversion line.

• Rachel Zoe shows up at the Bryant Park Tents; Karl Lagerfeld yells, "outta my way, Fatass!"

• Marc Jacobs' new haircut makes him suddenly attractive.

• Nelly Furtado studies Winona Ryder's moves to lear a few things about shoplifting.

• Kiera Knightley is your new obligatory ugly friend!

• Nelly Furtado makes us face this simple fact of life: we’re all gay. [Sun]

• Justin Timberlake officially just got cool again. Though, we should have figured him for a junkie … his girlfriend's a crackhead. [MSNBC]

• The brilliant plan to take a guy called C-Murder off house arrest scares us almost as much as Ann Coulter roaming free. Almost. [Jam!]

• From the diary of Pamela Anderson: "Dear Diary, Kid and I finally set the date for our wedding! I just hope Tommy Lee takes me back before July 29." [Us Weekly]

• Rap's new motto: guns don't kill people, bling kills people. [HipHopGame]

• Two things nobody cares to know about Avril Lavigne: she ate junk food before her wedding and can’t dance. (When it doubt, blame it on being Canadian.) [Jam!]

• Nelly Furtado and basketball player Steve Nash get our vote for the strangest imaginary couple of the year. [Page Six]

• We know Heather Mills is not a musician, but her marriage to one of the most famous rock stars in the world makes her porn pics important by association. [Sun]

• With a name like Rob Zombie, he should just be directing horror movies. It's pretty much guaranteed to be more success than that whole music thing. [MTV]

• How different would the world be if the saying just went, "every time a rapper gets arrested on drug charges, an angel gets its wings?" [Billboard]

• For once, Pete Doherty is denying a drug allegation. Which either indicates he was sober for three hours, or he got a better lawyer. [Virgin]

We were brave. We were valiant. And we musta been crazy. With Tom Cruise flitting around New York yesterday, we had no choice but to leave our square footage and track the crazy all the way to Times Square. But we didn't just wade our way through the crowds and push up against 4 Times Square like your average stalker. Nah, we finagled our way upstairs into the TRL studio for the culmination of Day Two of the Mission: Impossible 3 publicity marathon, complete with live Kanye West performance.

Sure, our efforts may have been misguided: Cruise never entered the studio, as he did yesterday, and instead boarded a firetruck (then a helicopter and a subway train) to parade around town before hitting his 7pm premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater, meaning we were locked upstairs while Kanye told to audience to pretend to love his movie soundtrack single, "Impossible," and Nelly Furtado debuted a video that all but assured us she'd abandoned her style for Timbaland team-ups that will sell records.

But our mission, which we chose to accept (if only because we gave it to ourselves), was not entirely a failure. En route to the second floor studio – where High School Week promised plenty of tweens still naive enough to believe Cruise's true love for Katie Holmes – we were accosted (okay, approached) by a Scientology flack promoting their latest Dianetics film. It's free!, shouted the postercard. It's running every 15 minutes! Bring friends!

While we didn't make it to their West 46th Street location, we did make it back to Jossip HQ to scan the card for your perusing enjoyment. After the jump, our collection of Scientology swag begins.

(We also caught a screening of M:I:3, and while there was plenty of blowing stuff up, we'll never be able to see Tom Cruise as a sex symbol again.)

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