• Perhaps the lack of coke offerings was why Mike Tyson split the Meadows clinic after just five days of $4,000 per night rehab treatment. [P6]

• People beat out the other rags for rights to Donald and Melania Trump's first pictures of their new baby boy, Barron. Twenty dollars versus 10, we're assuming. [P6]

• Lloyd Grove reports Hachette Filipacchi head Jack Kliger is working to get int't creative director Gilles Bensimon booted — a story that's been floating around for months. [Lowdown]

• Maybe Lindsay Lohan will actually be able to follow through with this modeling job for Versace, unlike her brief encounter with Louis Vuitton. [FWD]

• Just when he was getting hot – landing Cargo covers! – Jeremy Piven is expected to get axed on Entourage. [P6]

• If he's got a decent accountant, April 15 could see Nelly writing off his golden teeth on his tax return. [Us Weekly]

• Tom Jones is the next in a line of rockers to get knighted. Will this bizarre trend ever end? [MSNBC]

• Over 3,000 cases of Nelly's "Pimp Juice" energy drink were stolen on December 22, on a shipment bound for Trinidad. Shortly afterwards, Kevin Federline writes "PopoZao." You make the connection. [All Hip Hop]

• You know Mariah Carey beat 50 Cent for number one album, but did you know that Mary J. Blige beat out Notorious B.I.G for best selling Christmas album? We're sticking to our 'holiday spirit" theory. [E! News]

• Bono admits to fearing he'd be thrown out of U2 for his commitment to charity work, because his loyalty is supposed to be to the band. And band managers don't like to see their money go to charity groups. (Unless, of course, it creates publicity.) [AP News]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first "official public appearance as a couple. And by "public" we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]

• Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera's marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera's manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]

• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]

• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]

• Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He'll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce's mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]

• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he's been caught. You know, except he's hasn't. [Gatecrasher]

• Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]

• Some say CBGB's is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn't know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn't exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]

• Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]

• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]