Former Village Voice editor and maybe-racist David Blum has recently been named as the EIC of the (also) fledgling New York Press.

His first objective?

"To compete more vigorously with the Voice."

Translation: To act out some sort of crazy revenge-fantasy against the assholes who fired him six months into the job, leaked details of his low tolerance for black people and generally left his professional reputation in tatters.

Fortunately for the not-at-all-still-bitter Blum, trash-talking the Voice is pretty much the New York Press' sole raison d'etre.

From a now former New York Press staffer:

This is probably coming as a surprise to you, but the New York Press cut their marketing department this week for financial reasons. Accordingly, I am no longer working there. This was an abrupt decision on their part, but I am extremely excited about my possibilities for the future.

Excited? Us too! The Village Voice, or even the New York Sun, certainly has room in its budget for a new hire.

Stumbling upon the New York Press' throwback to the gritty gossip column was like reading a Lauren Weisberger book. Do these nameless gossips actually exist in real life? Apparently so. While we're not entirely clear on all the "Hype Stalker" details, there's been enough buzz (i.e. three IMs) around the column to deserve some media attention. The reason we're unclear is that the August 16 column attributes itself to New York Press editor Adario Strange (not a fake name) while yesterday's vicious column doesn't byline anyone.

In our very humble opinion, if you have a blog that slings shit at everyone, it's kind of, well, pussy not to put your name on it. Especially when you're not actually breaking any news. (Is this why this writer isn't interested in being credited?) So many questions. So little nerd left in us to care.

Truthfully, we don't really know what to say about "Hype Stalker" except "it's there." And that it showed extraordinary restraint in not calling itself "Hyperati Stalkerati." (Though, if they had, it would at least be mocking this douchbaggery of anonymous faux gossip writing.)

The columns gossip coverage ranges from Dick Parson's vying for Mayor,

"TimeWarner chief Richard “Dick” Parsons is eyeing the mayor’s chair after Bloomy is finished pooping in it."

to the Sale of Mediabistro,

In the meantime, if the sale does in fact go down, this may free up Touby’s in-house blogbot/Gawker wanna-be Dylan Stableford to pursue his true ambition of being an ironic rock star playing Williamsburg’s most hipsterati coffee houses.

to the oldest fight in the book: Michael Wolff vs. New York Times

We smell another damn-I’m-bitter-I-didn’t-cash-out-during-the-Internet-boom hater. Or it could be that Wolff is still smarting from his high-profile media fau paux when he failed in his bid to purchase his former employer New York magazine.

Interesting opinions anony-columnist. Ours happens to be that we're catching a whiff of damn-I'm-bitter-I-don't-have-any-orignal-gossip-to-report-but-I-want-to-be-mean-like-Gawker vibes. And since Romenesko's linking to the column, we all have to pay attention now.

HYPE STALKER [New York Press]

Here's the story of "Ricky" — just a regular Joe who happens to work at a large media company, likes to kick back with a few beers at Joshua Tree after work, and carries a messenger bag. And — shocker! — he orders weed from a delivery service.

In a city in which residents are accustomed to delivery services ranging from groceries to laundry, some, like Ricky, have discovered the convenience and safety of having drugs—namely marijuana—brought directly to their doors. “I’ve never bought pot in New York any other way,” says Ricky, who has lived in New York City for more than eight years and who has used a variety of delivery services for the past six.

We're sure we don't have to mention this is the most passe article we've read in a really long time. Honestly, we'd expect something like this from Sunday Styles … but the New York Press? Come on people. Weed delivery is as common in NYC as L train breaking down.

Well, at least they do one thing semi-hip and half-way cool. They do point out that letting drug dealers come to your apartment is safer than buying bug-spray soaked oregano from Washington Square Park.

WEED ON WHEELS [New York Press via Fishbowl]

As if the party Doug Dechert threw for himself and his front page New York Press article wasn't embarrassing enough, try this one on for size. Dechert got axed from his NYP column after one (that's right one) issue.

A recently unconfirmed report from the Gawks has Dechert crashing Richard Johnson's wedding, which happened to be the topic of his first column, and the cover story of last week's Press.

We had found the item at the very least amusing, but it later came to light that Dechert had crashed the wedding (makes sense, as no one in their right mind would want him there), whereas the column read as if he were an invited guest. That might piss off an editor or two.

And to think just last summer, Dechert was on top of the world, "curating" the boss' son's art show. (Because "art curator" is the chosen second job of hack gossip columnists?) Full Damon Johnson (c/o Doug Dechert) invite after the jump.

CONTINUED »

In today's issue of New York Press, we have yet another analysis of the demise of Cargo. Something about consumer porn and shopping and getting back to the "real man" stuff.

Cargo, along with Stuff, Gear, the defunct Vitals and all those other butch one-syllable names (why didn’t someone just go direct to the heart of the matter and call one Boner?) all chased after the same market—the dreaded media-made monster homo metrosexualis.

We find this paragraph extremely, extremely puzzling. First off, neither Vitals nor Boner are one-syllable names. Secondly, we don't know what to fear more: a 'butch' men's mag or a "monster homo metrosexualis?"

Especially when we're still working on being comfortable around straight guys.

CONSUMPTION PORNOGRAPHY [Steve Weinstein, New York Press]

You've got to really hate Judy Miller in order to find her more loathsome than Peter Braunstein. In a world where those New York Press staffers stand by their liberal ways, free press totally trumps sex offender in the worst of the fuck-ups category.

Others who made their top 50 most hated New Yorkers list (surely an honor for at least half the chosen ones) include politicians, neighborhoods, blogs, and members of the athletic community. (And everyone who Paper magazine has ever praised.) While we hate Kip's Bay, pointy shoes, and vegans, New York Press takes their bottled-up anger out on NYU, the Meatpacking District, and David Marvisi.

A few highlights from their hit list:

50) Former Press Edit Staff: "These guys walked out in the middle of a production cycle because they felt “censored” by not being allowed to show those ridiculous Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed. This mountain-into-a-molehill gave them a semi-Warholian 13 minutes of fame, while we were left picking up the pieces."

42) David Marvisi: "The infamously underhanded former club-owner (Exit, Spa, Capitale, Estate) … Marvisi’s sleazy demeanor and shady business dealings still resonate today, leaving an indelible, if not original, mark on nightlife."

25) Meatpacking District: "From a district known solely for its abattoirs, anonymous gay sex and tranny hookers, the area around West 14th Street known collectively as the Gansevoort Market in the past few years has become one of those horrid “international destinations” so beloved of travel writers and—oh, ye oxymoron!—lifestyle journalists."

7) John Sexton: What’s worse than a bunch of over-educated, privileged crybaby Felicity wannabes? Their disciplinarian daddy, of course.

We agree, all of these people, places, and things do suck pretty bad. But we're a little worried about the level of anger one must get in touch with to conjure up all the things people hate about New York. From the 6 train on a Saturday to Chinatown everyday, it's pretty easy to go Ted Turner on ourselves.

Just chill, Pressers. Go get a drink from Sapa, or box of chocolates from City Bakery. And, should George Clooney stand in your way, you have our permission to totally take your anger out on him.

2006 SUPER-VILLAIN EDITION [New York Press]

Yesterday, New York Press editor in chief Harry Siegel gave up his dream of running the paper.

Unlike the small California pub Freedom Communications Inc, New York Press publishers made a last minute decision to pull the contraversial cartoon which depicts the Muslim Prophet Mohammad as a bomb. (Note: The reaction to the Jesus Osama art at the Puck Building last week? Zilcho.)

This cartoon, however, has obviously inspired a reaction, and the New York Press probably should have been covering it. But, everyone is too scared that they will blown to bits, so, they leave it to papers like the New York Sun to handle the messy items. And Siegle would have none of that.

New York Press, like so many other publications, has suborned its own professed principles. For all the talk of freedom of speech, only the New York Sun locally and two other papers nationally have mustered the minimal courage needed to print simple and not especially offensive editorial cartoons that have been used as a pretext for great and greatly menacing violence directed against journalists, cartoonists, humanitarian aid workers, diplomats and others who represent the basic values and obligations of Western civilization.

Along with their EIC walked managing editor Tim Marchman, arts editor Jonathan Leaf and political reporter Azi Paybarah.

Between cartoons causing complete social and political upheaval, Britney Spears getting a knock on her door from DCFS, Madoxx Jolie tattoos, and a glossy Page Six, the world is beginning to feel a bit out of whack.

New York Press Editors Resign Over Cartoons [Harry Seigel, NYO]

• Bob Woodward's withholding the fact that he spoke to an administration source about Valerie Plame didn't go over well with his colleagues — and now readers on are the rag. [E&P]

• Judith Miller might end up with her own talk show on Fox News .. at least according to the mouth of Maureen Dowd, which refuses to close. [Daily Texan]

• It's wouldn't be a blog network launch without somebody whining. [Open Source]

• The New York Press is throwing a hissy fit over (as far as we can tell) the New York Times putting "The" in the newspaper's name. [Gawker]

• With the return of The Sopranos, HBO is promising to kick ABC's ass, despite its Desperate Housewives megahit. And despite the fact that HBO "doesn't care" about ratings. [NYT]

• On High Times' website, there's actually more to do than look at pictures of outrageous pot plants. There's swirly black and white shapes, too. [NY Press]

• Forget Punk'd. Space Cadets pulls the ultimate prank: tricking folks into thinking they travel to space. [London Times]

• Finally, your decision to put your entire life on the Internet has a purpose: It's furthering citizen journalism. [OJR]