Many of you are probably separated from David Jaffee in fewer degrees than you would think. Jaffee, of course, is the nightlife promoter whose emails reach an estimated 40,000 New Yorkers (and, ahem, Jersey and Long Islanders) and always begin, "Greetings from my cubicle on Wall Street." We're not quite sure what he does down in the Financial District, but in the evening you'll see him courting B&Ts through the velvet ropes of Home, Guest House, and Star Lounge. One veteran nightlife insider calls Jaffee only "semi-successful, if that," and guesses his revenues aren't exactly what one might call "enviable."

Which is just swell. But after receiving Jaffee's emails, unsolicited, for the better part of two years, we had yet to ever lay eyes on him. Until that little wonder called Facebook.com – where he has 1,800-plus "friends" – unveiled just who is behind the nightlife spam.

It's this guy. Which should make you that much more comfortable hitting the "Send to Spam Folder" button.

Ever wondered what it would be like to get hit on by Zach Braff? Why not find out for yourself!

Simply hop onto the 6 train, get off at Astor Place and head to the nearest NYU dive bar. Once there, it's practically a given that the notoriously awkward pick-up artist will attempt to "woo" you, assuming you have a working pair of mammary glands.

So order yourself a cheap, watered down cocktail, park your ass at the bar and wait for the socially inept pick-up artist to strike with the cultivated full-body grope, or such winning lines as, "You have nice breasts."

Because, as Radar reports, that whole sensitive-guy image Braff cultivated is pretty much a load of crap.

CONTINUED »

Jay-Z had 99 problems. Now he has 100. And while a bitch may still not be on the list, accusations that he doesn't even pay minimum wage at his 40/40 club is on there. And the accusations are being made by a girl. Who, Mr. Carter might call, a bitch.

CONTINUED »

The same way your refuse to call the guy who pours decaf drop at Starbucks a "barista" and the guy who read an Esquire wine column a "sommelier," we ask that you refuse to call the guy who crushes the mint in your mojito a "bar chef." He's the new career flavor of the week, according to UrbanDaddy, which latches on to last night's Tribeca opening of B-Flat's with some new terminology for mixologists bartenders."

"A mixologist is just a bartender," smack-talks B Flat's Winston Leung, one of four veteran bartenders—sorry, bar chefs—making the jump from the East Village hideaway Angel's Share. "Anybody can be a bartender. Not anybody can be a bar chef. You have to care what you give people."

You hear that? You have to care. About things like what shape ice you serve, and the curl of your lemon twist. And whether you're okay making a living off serving assholes who would ever nod their head at you, flash a $50, and utter, "Hey, bar chef."

Though Hell's Kitchen megaclub Pacha took home seven of 11 Club World Awards this year, it can't stay out of the negative limelight. We hear the space was shuttered Saturday night. Something to do with an OD, says a source. Rumors has it they'll be open next weekend, just in time for you to be over Pacha again.

• A publicist offers Ebony a friendly reminder that Chris Rock is still married to his wife.

• Forty thousand interviews later, Larry King picks his Top 10.

• After getting Don Imus fired, Rutgers' players accept his apology.

• New nightspot Runway opens … to vomit.

• How to write a weekly column. That nobody wants to read.

CONTINUED »

Whenever an UrbanDaddy missive arrives in our inbox, we do two things: 1) Brace ourselves for grotesque amounts of "Wall Street trader with a bonus to spend" largess; and 2) Click open. We followed that routine today, which introduced us to Arena, the new Bryant Park mega-space with LED lights and 20×10 screens that'll put a Liberty Island bash to shame. Or so its marketing will have you think.

But more telling is Arena's website, which dispels any myths you might have about kosher club etiquette.

CONTINUED »

If you can tell us the last time you were at Bounce, on 2nd and 2nd, you're probably not the type of crowd who reads this website. Or maybe you are, and you just use the "my lame ass friends from college dragged me there" excuse. But hell, at least you know the East Village bar. And after today, you'll know it as the East Village bar that's getting its ass sued by DirecTV for trying to entertain its patrons.

DirecTV is cracking down on restaurants and bars that are misusing or misappropriating its programming, and it recently obtained a $50,000 judgment against a New York bar, according to the direct-broadcast satellite provider. [...]

The lawsuit against Bounce Deuce was one of five complaints DirecTV filed last year against commercial establishments in New York and Florida. The DBS provider has several other commercial-misuse investigations under way across the country.

The judgment was entered against Bounce Deuce for its unauthorized showing of the 2006 NFL Sunday Ticket package. DirecTV filed two other similar civil complaints against commercial establishments in New York in December, and those cases are pending in federal court.

And that $50,000 ruling against it means you're Jack & Cokes just went up a buck fifty. Bottoms up!

• In disappointing news, an ultra-exclusive nightclub you weren't cool enough to get into anyway may have stopped letting anyone in at all.

• Riverside Park is named as Most Dangerous of all the New York City parks; Riverside now also to be known as "Best Place To Score a Free iPod."

• New Jersey still trying to deny that they're our "stinkiest" neighbor.

• Already overwrought parents become even more neurotic about their possibly-gifted offspring.

• A teenager was stabbed on the subway yesterday…possibly by another teen on his way to Riverside Park?

Could the only place where Mary-Kate and Ashley feel safe enough to smile be on the auction block? After the murder of 18-year-old Jennifer Moore, the Bungalow 8's West Chelsea nabe has been a veritable police state, what with those street closings and NYPD presence. So what's a nightlife queen like Amy Sacco to do? Sell, sell, sell!

“Everybody wants to get off 27th Street, because celebrities won’t go there,” said the source.

Reached for comment on Dec. 4, Ms. Sacco amplified the chitchat. “I’m gonna do whatever I feel is necessary for myself,” said the nightlife empress, when asked if she was contemplating selling Bungalow. “But I’m not going to stay if I can’t get my customers to walk down the block.” [...]

I’m this close,” she said. “I don’t need to do this. I don’t need to work for no money, and I don’t need to work in a place that doesn’t want me to work. I’m not going to start charging at the door.”

Ahem. "Work for no money?" If Lindsay, Leo, Paris, M-K & A, J. Lo, Jake, and Nicole are still dropping by, it sounds like there's plenty of cash yet to be had, Sacco.

Yesterday we posted a bullet point about the final closing of Roxy, the megaclub that's half-roller disco, half-gay orgy. The news came from HX, the gay weekly read by call boys and their clients, and was certainly a decent sized scoop for the mini glossy. Now word comes this morning that Roxy is not, actually, closing. Like a Studio 54 club kid, it's rising from its embers for one more ride around the rink.

HX got the news late yesterday, just as the issue was going to press. Editors there had to call their printers and halt the run while staffers raced to update the item. So, what's the new news? That a group of "rollerskating investors" (hah!) arrived just in time to bail out owner Gene DiNino and his little IRS back tax problem, putting up the cash to keep the club going. Among the angel deep pockets? "One famous designer who rarely misses the Wednesday night party." We're taking your guesses; the lines are open.

• So many changes around CourtTV, but one thing remains constant: The network's execs remain stingier than their staffers when it comes to helping the homeless.

• Your days of freebasing and blowjobs at the Roxy are, at long last, coming to an end.

• Rachael Ray's cooking show that involves celebrities preparing their favorite dishes is, allegedly, someone else's idea. Though not a hard one to come up with.

• Billionaires Ron Burkle and Eli Broad make a play not just for the LAT, but for the entire Tribune Co.

• The point of a launch party is not to try the product, but to show up for a glass of bubbly, have your photo taken, and leave for a better soiree.

• President Bush trades one old white guy for another.

CODE.TV – the online video version of Gotham – appears to have ditched its normal fare of straight interviews with club owners and panning shots of brightly lit, albeit empty spaces to actually filming venues while other people are there. It's a new format called "Night Out," and it makes us want to stay in.

In a segment that goes live tonight, Code talking head Pedro Andrade and his pals hit Happy Valley in a piece we like to call "Please give George Oliphant full hosting duties." Pedro appears to be the prototype of the guy you try your hardest to avoid in the asshole arena that is Manhattan nightlife. The first hint: He goes to Happy Valley to avoid the Chelsea/Meatpacking Distrct scene. Says Pedro, in a dialect that is heretofor known as On A Scale Of One To Awesome, I'm The Shit: "We're waiting in line. But you know what? We're gonna cut it. … I'm gonna show you how it's done. The line's over there, we're over here."

The clip's saving grace – and yes, there is one – is Happy Valley owner Fabrizio Brienza, whose shirt seems to unbutton gradually throughout the segment. Preaches Fabrizio: "Come to Happy Valley if you want to get laid for free." Otherwise, Scores isn't that far away.

Night Out: Happy Valley [CODE.TV]

• Landlords attempted to evict Maggie Gyllenhaal from her Tribeca pad. And, she almost cares but she's moving to Brooklyn anyways. [NYP]

• Free food at 5 Ninth? Call now because this will certainly never, ever happen again. [Grub Street]

• NYC's Rodeo Bar is now selling cowboy boots and belt buckles covered in peanut shells. [NYO]

• You know those skinny dudes who are always huffing and puffing to pedal the chubby Midwestern folk down 42nd St? Yeah, well, New York wants to put some regulations on that. [NYP]

• If you didn’t think a hip-hop show could be filled entirely with old people-think again. (Tues. 10/3-10/5) [Massive Attack]

• Getting shit hammered for free? We are always there. Even if we're the most brightly dressed folk in the bar. (Tues. 10/3) [Free NYC]

• Should you trust the media? If you want to hear Adam Moss' answer, go check out this panel. If you just want the short answer, we'll go with: probably not. (Wed. 10/4) [NYSEC]

• INever been to the ice rink in Rockefeller Center? Well, go you weirdo. Otherwise, if you've been there, dont that, save your cash and just try to walk around the West Village when it snows. (Sat. 10/7) [Rockefeller Center]

• From Larry King Live to the New School. Jim McGreevey’s Pity Fest 2006 has really taken off. (Tues. 9/26) [New School]

• Don't let the fact that Zach Braff likes Regina Spektor dissuade you from checking her out. After all, it's not her fault! (Wed. 9/27) [NYM]

• Eric Clapton may be unfeasibly aged, but he’ll rock harder in his oldies than any of us ever hope to. (Thurs. 9/28) [Ticketmaster]

• Calling all babysitters: if you want to teach kids how to behave for a low, low, price, check this out. (Sun. 10/1) [Ticket Web]

Since today is the day Radar brings up old news, we thought we would return the favor with a mention of the always-up-for-a-party-guy Maer Roshan. Abbe Diaz blogs on her PX This tablet about a very chicy party last night at DaSilvano for Marisa Acocella Marchetto's new book Cancer Vixen. Lots of media A-Listers were there, Paula Froelich hosted the event, and, Diaz spotted the dapper (and possibly wasted) Radar EIC.

and then right when this is happening i see maer-roshan stumbling across the street toward me (drunk already maybe?) so i call out "hi maer roshan!"

so maer-roshan pauses to shake my hand and i introduce myself but it didn't seem he recognized my name. which was pretty disappointing, considering all the hullabaloo over that time i saw him crying on UniversityPl wow my site stats sure went crazy that day! oh but i
digress.

yah so maer-roshan was really sweet and friendly though and he even said he likes my bike. oh and a friend of his came over to say hi too, but i didn't catch his name because he said it so quickly and i was just cordially introducing maer-roshan to marc-bagutta at that very
same moment. whoever he was, he was cute and sweet too he said "i really like your bike."

Oh, and we hear that nameless friend was none other than former staffer and current freelancer Drew Lee.

Anyways, we know this isn't super breaking news. But any chance to bring up the day Maer Roshan cried on his cell phone is a chance we'll take. Actually, we wish we could more often reiterate this day — especially opposed to the day David Zinczenko gave head to some LA chick.

Fri 9.22 [PX This]

Though it is about a week old, this gossip is the type of juice we just can't pass up. We hear that last Wednesday, Tinsley Mortimer held a chic "intimate post-dinner show" for designer and member of the New York elite Peter Som at the swanky Frederick's Lounge in Midtown. (We're sure you can imagine the scene — and yes, gagging is a completely natural reaction.)

Anways, at this event, where designer Amanda Ross and uber stylist Ann Caruso were trying to dink their Moet in peace, a ridiculously pushy PR agent, who obviously didn't know her place was with the regular people, tried to push into the private party.

An industry insider who attended the event dishes that a publicist named Amanda* from Captivante PR crashed the party. While the private event was strictly for guests of Peter Som — and this little "you can't fucking come in" policy was kindly explained to her — Amanda waited for staff to look away before entering the member's room with her crew of clients. From which she was promptly booted.

Staffers at Frederick's felt kind of terrible for the "tacky publicist" and, reportedly, proceeded to throw two bottles of champagne at her, setting her crew up in a room where "the public" is allowed to chill. Fredericks even picked up the tab. But Miss Amanda apparently doesn't stop being a bitch when loaded with free bubbly.

After being presented with a comped bill for over 500 dollars, she and her guests left a fistful of crumpled singles amounting to 17 dollars. The manager on duty was so dismayed he paid cash out of his own pocket to his waitstaff to make up for the pr person's gaff.

See, we don't care about pissing off the Tins (in fact, we were a little impressed at first). But throwing a crumpled $17 bucks at the waitstaff? That's just disgusting.

*A Google local search points to Amanda Moore, but the contact info for Captivante is less easy to pin down. Have insider info? Send to tips@jossip.com.

Remember Josh Wolf? The video blogger who was jailed on August 1 for refusing to hand over protest footage of a 2005 G8 conference to the government? Well, he's been coolin' his heels in a cell block ever since, and, uh, it doesn't look like he's going to get out soon.

Today, his bail was revoked, and he will remain in California prison until July 2007, or, until he hands over his video. And, of course, San Fransisco is rallying behind this atrocity with a huge bash.

(Click to Enlarge)

See, if only New Yorkers would have thought of this during the Judith Miller years. That would've been a seriously never-ending party.

Free Josh Wolf Benefit Tomorrow in SF [The Revoution via Boing Boing]

• If you think heroin enhances artists’ creativity, there is now an entire book which supports that theory. [NYDN]

• Please don't bother Bono with issue like sweatshop labor. He's focusing on poverty and AIDS, ok? [Jam&]

• Willie Neslon: the only musician who can beat Pete Doherty in the “arrested for drug possession,” category. [Y!]

• What constitutes "appropriate attire" in the world of Nas and Kelis? "Adidas sneakers, Kangol hats and faux gold bamboo earrings." Duh. [Page Six]

• Clay Aiken announced he'll be taking a break from touring for a while. He needs to do some Internet shopping. [Billboard]