Holy spin Batman: Marquee's suspension of their liquor license and short hiatus from the scene earlier this year had nothing to do with that busted water pipe, like jowly nightclub owner Noah Tepperberg claimed. At least, not according to Tepperbeg's lawyer, who is completely unaware of his client's story.

"They may have had a water main leak," said council David Jaroslawicz, “that fact that some idiots tried to sell drugs—you know, do everything you can to prevent it, but you know, if some idiots want to sell drugs, they’re going to sell drugs.”

Oh, so it was a drug thing. Yawn. Close the doors forever. This is the same Tepperberg who boasted about fueling bottle service industry's fire with his incredibly long lines at Marquee? Yeah, so let the place lock up it's doors while we all make moonshine in our bathtubs. Less of a wait and way more fun than watching Eurotrash do bumps in the restrooms.

Nightclub impresario and chess champ Noah Tepperberg puts down his BlackBerry for long enough to mince words with Portfolio's Lloyd Grove, who's gone from reporting on the antics of celebrity life in short form to reporting on the antics of celebrity life in long form.

Tepperberg, seen here with biz partner Jason Strauss and an unidentified blonde, is, of course, the co-owner of Marquee and a lead at Strategic Group, the special events and marketing giant that's also in the business of celebrity wrangling. (He was also featured in Bar Mitzvah Disco.)

The common masses will blame him for what nightlife has become: velvet ropes and bottle service (just banned in Boston!). The privileged set will celebrate him, also, for what nightlife has become: more exclusive, more parties. And for the uninitiated, he will explain the difference — why there is still a line down the street to get into Marquee, and why you're probably standing in it instead of inside, on a banquette.

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So just what big Jew nightclub promoter had a graffiti themed Bar Mitzvah party way back when?

Why it's none other than Marquee co-owner Noah Tepperberg (seen here with Pauly Shore), who's south-of-23rd-Street childhood instantly gives him New York cred. Well, until he started marking up bottles of Veuve Clicquot by 600 percent.

My, how fast they grow up.

Bar Mitzvah Disco : The Music May Have Stopped, but the Party's Never Over [Amazon]
Earlier: Those Jews and their themed Bar Mitzvahs
Related: Aging Club Owners: The new aging club kids

Aside from seeing Anna Wintour weep at the sight of Wal-Mart ads appearing in her pages, nothing makes our heart grow fonder than aging club kids. And then there's the aging club owners.

Marquee co-owner Noah Tepperberg, who's expanding into Las Vegas, chimed in his 30th birthday with a dinner at Tao and soriee at his own club. As the Grey Goose flowed, the New York Observer's long-winded account of his cumpleaños revealed nothing we didn't already know about the lifetime party host.

Or Page Sixer Chris Wilson.

When Mr. Tepperberg himself walked into the restaurant at around 10 p.m., he was wearing a casual button-down shirt and a pair of white sneakers. He moved like an easy target through the sea of designer dresses and sleek black suits. The only real competition for most casually underdressed was from Page Six scribe Chris Wilson, who defiantly arrived in a T-shirt. He hunkered down on the sidelines with Stuff editor Cory Jones.

Clearly The Transom didn't venture into the loo for the true casual affairs.