If you shill it on Oprah, they will come. To wit, here is a list of things made popular because Oprah loves them:
1) The Secret
2) Barack Obama
3) Self Worth
4) Tom Cruise
Guess which one might end up president because of the benevolence of the richest woman in the world? CONTINUED »
BACK TO BLACK On Sunday, FoxNews.com gossip Roger Friedman published what could have easily been a Clinton camp-fed item about how black celebs aren't supporting Barack Obama's campaign with donations. He listed Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Denzel Washington among those who haven't followed Oprah's lead. But what about … Eddie Murphy, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Rock, Will Smith, Forest Whitaker, Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, Camille Cosby, Tyler Perry, Tyra Banks, Phylicia Rashad, Dennis Haysbert, Tracey Edmonds, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Gabrielle Union, Hill Harper, Holly Robinson Peete, Jamie Foxx, Nia Long, Morgan Freeman, Earvin “Magic” Johnson, Regina King, Jasmine Guy, Debra Lee, and Michael Jordan? [Stereohyped]
Breaking: Throngs of black people evacuated to nearby sports arena due to dangerous conditions and inexcusable overcrowding in a Southern state!
Nope, it's not another horribly mismanaged national disaster. Just an overwhelming display of solidarity by Barack Obama Oprah Winfrey supporters. [Stereohyped]
[Photos via WireImage]
Look, everyone likes Oprah. She's smart, she's fun, she's relatable and – aside from that awkward James Frey kerfuffle – she even has good taste in books. So the only way for Hillary Clinton to combat Oprah on the pulpit is with the only other pseudo-political figure everyone can agree on: Chelsea Clinton.
In addition to possessing a relatively benign personality coupled with moderately hot Jewess appeal, Chelsea appeals to everyone who's ever endured a prolonged "awkward" phase.
Is Oprah's support of Barack Obama distracting? Invigorating? According to The Nation's Patricia Williams, it just might be both!
"Celebrities – from Toby Keith to Sammy Davis Jr., from Barbra Streisand to Jon Bon Jovi — have always stumped for candidates," begins the slightly wordy paragraph regarding (as Williams terms it) the "brouhaha" surrounding Oprah's endorsement.
And yes, there's more.
• 50 Cent pulls an Amy Winehouse. Intern Whitney explains, "A tv crew had the go-ahead to go into his dressing room and when the camera walked in he and his entourage were all over a table snorting something." Action starts around the 1:35 mark.
• Incredibly well connected daughters of politicians: they're just like us!
• Britney Spears' exonerated baby-daddy JR Rotem has apparently hit the internets in search of a "hot Jewish girl."
• Jenna Bush reminds us how much more we'd like her easygoing dad, if only he weren't sitting in the oval office.
• Oprah and Gayle fail to make People's 2007 list of the "Cutest Celebrity Couples." Better luck next year, girls!
• Everyone check out our boss' glamorous big-screen debut!
Think you're having a bad couple weeks? Just put yourself in Oprah's (Jessica Seinfeld sponsored) shoes!
First, there was that whole charitable school for orphans thing that blew up in her face when it turned out those children she "saved" were being abused by the dorm matron she hand-selected. And now it turns out she's recommended a book on her website written by a known white supremacist.
Chin up, Winfrey. Tomorrow is a new day. And there's no telling what embarrassing racial/cultural/political faux pas are on the horizon.
Did you hear?? Oprah Winfrey plans to launch her very own channel on YouTube!
According to media insiders, the channel is projected to be a huge ratings success and an amazing opportunity for YouTubers to benefit from her as-yet-undefined areas of expertise.
That is, until it inevitably turns out that instead of bettering everyone's quality of life with her brand new innovation, Oprah's inadvertently subjected them to unspeakable acts of frequent physical and emotional abuse instead. For which she is very, very sorry. [InformationWeek]
Earlier:
• Oprah Winfrey To Her South African Pupils: 911 Is Totally Overrated; In A Real Emergency, Just Call Me
• Oprah Demonstrates The Proper Way For Dorm Matrons To Manhandle Their South African Charges
Oprah Winfrey tries to make up for that whole "Everyone at my new South African school was abused" thing by giving the entire student body her personal phone number.
We give it approximately one week before she gets pranked by a Ugandan claiming to be Gayle King. [Stereohyped]
• Oprah Winfrey is really, really sorry that she "saved" a bunch of impoverished South African children by subjected them to habitual beatings and repeated fondlings.
• Paris' body is a wonderland.
• So is Hugh Jackman's, but for very different reasons.
• Catherine Zeta-Jones, like all women in Hollywood who drop a few pounds from eating healthy and exercising regularly, totes has an eating disorder.
• Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett has put on 2 or 3 pounds, which constitutes irrefutable evidence that she's knocked up.
• Jessica Simpson reminds us why her (creepy!) dad/manager is so proud of his daughter's rack.
• Jennifer Connelly shows us what happens when you accidentally confuse your mother's garish floral-print sofa for a dress and then accidentally get run over. Several times.
• Amy Winehouse gets arrested. Even tackier? It was at the Radisson.
• Lindsay Lohan gets manhandled (or should we say boobie-handled) by her bodyguard.
• Then again, it's not as though Lindsay's really been playing hard to get.
• Heath Ledger is in talks to reprise his award-winning role from Brokeback Mountain in what might very well be the most ill-conceived sequel in cinematic history.
• Apparently, Oprah's still reminiscing about the time when she used to be fat.
"Is your handbag killing you?" Possibly! Or else maybe it's just slightly hurting your back. Either way, better log onto Oprah's website, like now, or risk dying a slow, purse-related death. [Oprah]
If there's one person who knows about shaving her head and going batshit insane, it's Sinead O'Connor. Which is why she's expressed her concerns about Britney, and politely requested that the media stop scrutinizing Brit and chronicling her every move. By going on Oprah. [CNN]
For some odd reason, NBC has decided to give Bonnie Hunt an hour a day to corrupt the dwindling talk show viewing audience.
Being Jumanji fans, we believe she has what it takes to last at least a few episodes, but what do the experts think?
To find out, we dispatched Intern Whitney to consult body language expert Dr. Lillian Glass (author of "I Know What You Are Thinking") in order to learn about the intangibles and discover what exactly it is about hosting an afternoon gabfest that separates the richest woman in Forbes magazine from the still-unemployed Will & Grace castoffs
• The New York Times confuses real news with Joseph Gordon-Levitt talking about French accents.
• Wrist Watch: Owen Wilson is out and about.
• From ABC: "Us Weekly, OK! relied on verified circ as newsstands waver." Celebrity weeklies being intentionally deceptive? The horror!
• Meanwhile, our future drinking buddy Kent Brownridge steps up his game, calling for more accurate circ reports and warning Rolling Stone, "There's only room in this town for one totally irrelevant music magazine."
• NYU students beware! AOL is moving its corporate headquarters from Dulles, Virginia to Astor Place, and we hear they're already considering "Off The Wagon" as their new executive hangout.
• GalleyCat tries to pick a fight with Oprah, fails to realize their own relative insignificance
Editorial Director
