• Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking go and and buy Harry Potterl! Shomer shabbos!

• After a somewhat disappointing debut, Portfolio's hotly anticipated second issue will sport what some are calling "a redesign," and what a spokeswoman is calling "tinkering."

• Most people would be embarrassed to admit they actually work for Cosmo. But not this guy!

• Kimora Lee Simmons wastes no time making sure viewers of her new reality show, Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, clearly understand that she's a washed-up closet case with an over-inflated ego. "I've had billboards; that's my life," she says, matter-of-factly.

• Oprah becomes the newest Obama girl, raising money for the presidential wannabe because, as she explains, "I like my men like I like my coffee."

As we write this, we’re looking out the window and salivating over the picture perfect weather outside, currently being wasted on lazy unemployed persons and pretentious NYU students. And so, for your sanity and ours, we’ve decided to kick off a glorious new feature called “Comment of the Day,” to provide a transient glimmer of entertainment for all you working stiffs who would much rather be downing margaritas poolside on the Jersey Shore (while fending off advances from married, guidos named Tony) than slaving away in your cubicles.

Today’s “Comment of the Day” comes to us from Vh1 Blog, and it regards 50 Cent's latest self-induced feud with Oprah, presumably over her hatred of hip hop music and so-called lack of "street cred." As always, the rapper's provocative remarks (i.e. "she can escape the fact that she's black because she's a billionaire") prove somewhat polarizing, forcing respondents to choose between their love for the artist who brought them "In Da Club," and their most favorite talk show host in the whole entire universe.

The unsurprising results, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

• 50 Cent announces he'll be leaving the music biz to focus his energies entirely towards his one true passion: getting shot.

• Orlando Bloom is ready to fall in love, still hoping against hope that he'll find Mr. Right an awesome new girlfriend.

• Kanye West: "I've known my mom since I was zero years old. She is quite dope." Fortunately for Mrs. West, her son is kind of a "dope" as well.

• Oprah Winfrey learns her father is writing a tell-all about his famous progeny; the book is said to be less fictitious than James Frey, and almost as boring as "The Secret."

• Check out all the accomplished politicians, Pulitzer Prize winning authors and billionaires who were once rejected by Harvard admissions! It's all kind of empowering, until you remember that your parents are still paying your cell phone bill.

• Meanwhile, Britney Spears naively hopes a B-12 shot will put the "zap" back into those lip-syncing routines.

• Those zany Wilson brothers are at it again! Their latest hijinks? Firing their own mother! Oh, the tomfoolery…

Oprah Winfrey has succumbed to Obama-rama, formally endorsing the presidential wannabe on CNN. And, as we all know, it takes quite a bit of finessing, political networking and shrewd campaigning to get Oprah's unequivocal seal of approval. But just how did Obama manage it?

Last week, for the first time, Ms. Winfrey endorsed a political candidate, Senator Barack Obama, Democrat from Illinois. In an interview on “Larry King Live” on CNN, she said she was backing the senator “because I know him personally.”

See? It has nothing to do with Obama's politics, proposed social security reforms or (dare we even suggest it?) his race. It's because she knows him!

When told of Winfrey's somewhat vague rationale, Hillary Clinton immediately sent the talk show mainstay a bouquet of flowers, a luncheon invitation and an unintentionally creep card reading, "I'd love to get to know you better. Signed, Hill."

• Rape charges dropped against Duke lacrosse players; kidnapping, sexual assault charges prevail.

• As of today, Tower Records is no mo'.

• Life & Style reports Oprah and Stedman are moving in together; no word yet on where "special friend" Gayle King will sleep.

• Nicole Richie recovers from Hilary Duff's snark attack by stuffing her face at Johnny Rockets.

• As every girl (or, um, transsexual) knows, you can never have too many shoes.

• Christmas purists rise up against hideous, inflatable Santas. Because the birth of Christ has soooo much more to do with pine trees, twinkling lights, and mistletoe.

Before there was Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, there was Oprah Winfrey and her "we're not gay" BFF Gayle King. But did you ever wonder how the two met? Apparently the whole story is unfolding on XM radio channel 156 right now. (We don't have XM radio, so we're just going to have to take our tipster's word that this is being aired.)

"When I was 22 years old and working as a TV anchor in Baltimore, there was a young production assistant in the newsroom, Gayle King. One night there was a snowstorm and she couldn't get home. I said 'Hey, you can spend the night at my house.' She said, 'I don't have any panties.' I said, "Well, I do. I have clean panties, and once I give 'em to you, you don't have to give 'em back.'"

What Oprah doesn't know is that Gayle still has the panties from that night. They've never been washed. And sometimes, she goes into her dresser drawer, take them out, sniffs them, hugs them, and cries.

Jame Frey, the lovable crackhead taken under Oprah's wing, may be full of more shit than he ever was of coke. The Smoking Gun's thorough investigation of Frey's history with drugs, booze, and the police department, comes to the conclusion that the New York Times best selling author of A Million Little Pieces has quite a fucked up story. And not just because he woke up on a plane with a hole in his face, but because, apparently, he wasn't the total bang-up job that he described himself as.

"Seems Mr. Frey has quite an imagination. He thinks he's a bit of a desperado. He's making a bunch of crap up."

That's the assessment of David Baer, a former Granville police sergeant who, at TSG's request, reviewed old police records and Frey's account of his starring role as a chief target in a narcotics probe supposedly jointly run by the FBI and Granville cops.

TSG uncovered mostly exaggerated details about the events, such as blood alcohol levels of .2 instead of .3 and Frey having chicken pox when he arrested, and one kid from his high school saying that Jimmy Frey wasn't that bad.

While we do not doubt Frey spent time in rehab, there really isn't anyone left (besides the author himself) to vouch for many of the book's outlandish stories.

Mostly, though, the report just says that Frey wasn't the total bad-ass he depicted himself as, that he took some "license as a writer." (Those damn writers are so bothersome with their creativity, aren't they?) The guy admitted to shitting his bed, puking all over himself, and falling off a fire escape. Then, he went on Oprah — shouldn't he be allowed to make himself look a little tough?

Really, who flippin' cares that the cop who Frey describes as a fat coffee drinker was actually skinny back then? How's Frey even supposed to sell this book without details like chicks snorting coke off his dick and crack pipe dreams?

If only they could've just coughed up the doctor's reports, (which according to Frey's book said he would die if he ever drank or did drugs again,) and found a way to deny those, maybe the article may have been worth the (really boring, crack whore-less) six page analysis.

A Million Little Lies [The Smoking Gun]

• It takes B-List stars a little longer to catch up to the baby craze. [People]

• If Johnny Damon's gonna be a Yankee, he's gonna need a place to live. Obviously, a place that allows water balloon fights. [NYO]

• Amanda Peet is flicking people off — Lloyd Grove's been off for like a month and this is the best he could come up with? And he's saying "natch," now? Whatev. [Lowdown]

• Can Oprah save Julia Roberts’ marriage? Oh, you don't give a shit, either? [Star]

• The Oxygen network is excludes its gay male audience even further by launching soft-core porn for middle age ladies. The staff at More , however, couldn't be more thrilled. [NYT]

• In order to defend his reputataion as a total asshole, Chris Klein will not be sending Katie Holmes a baby gift. [Defamer]

• If Time Inc.'s staff cut of 110 was "Merry Christmas," and the budget cut of $100 million was (obviously) "Happy Hanukkah," then "Happy New Year" must be: cut 400 more jobs. Isn't "Happy Holidays, we're all screwed" just easier? [NYP]

• The dollar is down, so you know what that means. Lots of tourists flocking to Broadway. Yippee! [AP News]

• Umm, Peter Braunstein needs compassion? Don't look at us. You know that term "a face only a mother could love?" We would like to apply here. [NYDN]

• Yeah, because in this whole "Oprah killed a bird" situation, we were totally blaming the bird. Turns out it was the plane's fault anyway. Peoople

• Turns out that David Letterman wasn't stalking that lady through her TV set. Wow, we were sure wrong about that one. [AP News]

• Ecstasizing? Jack Black is hilarious! We would totally pay money to see him crunked and on E, but he said he went sober to the set of King Kong. So, scratch that movie ticket. [MSNBC]

• Its not just journos. Chefs are pretty broke ass too. Until Oprah Winfrey adopts them, anyway. [Page Six]

• President Bush isn't helping you, or Kanye West, but he's obviously helping Anna Nicole Smith. [People]

• Who's older, the people who watch the New Year's Eve show, or those who host it? [USA Today]

• It hurts when people are so racist, especially against their own people. Eva Longoria calling a police officer "a Mexican bike cop" is almost as bad as Steven Spielberg making Munich. [MSNBC]

• Magazine editors have New Year's resolutions, too. Some are less realistic than others (like Jim Nelson's goal of making GQ synonymous with "great reporting"), but its nice to know that even the ED2010 idols want to stop eating and start reading. [WWD]

• Poor Oprah Winfrey. After her private jet plows into a bird, murdering it, she has to land her plane and everything. We're pretty sure the bird's little babies feel sorry for her, too. [People]

• We almost don't believe it's true: SNL produced something funny. Even funnier, though, is the hype over this show making people laugh for the first time in six years. [NYDN, You Tube]

• We figured out what Brad Renfro is good for: reminding you that its a good thing you never got with your middle school crush. [A Socialite's Life]