• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first "official public appearance as a couple. And by "public" we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]

• Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera's marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera's manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]

• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]

• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]

• Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He'll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce's mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]

• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he's been caught. You know, except he's hasn't. [Gatecrasher]

• Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]

• Some say CBGB's is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn't know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn't exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]

• Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]

• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]

• Billy Joel would like to clear up some serious misconceptions about his past. Joel is not a Jack Daniels man. Instead, he used to only drink Dewar's White Label scotch. (Need we remind you, we're Ketel One connoisseurs.) [R&M]

• 50 Cent and The Game have been able to put aside their beef to record tracks for the latter's s upcoming album. We can all learn a lesson from this — Israel and Palestine, we're talking to you. [MTV]

• A band named The Right Brothers is campaigning to get their conservative anthem, "Bush Was Right," on TRL. All they need? Scantily clad booty teens in the video. [Stereogum]

• Courtney Love has been using her time in rehab to write songs for an upcoming album. One of the track titles is "How Dirty Girls Get Clean," which we're assuming includes a lot more withdrawal than it does body wash. [NME]

• Ozzy Osbourne mooned the audience at the UK Music Hall of Fame Ceremony concert, hoping to shock the audience (we hear he has a tendency to do that). Unfortunately, there were camera's present. [BrooklynVegan]

• Ozzy Osbourne think he contracted Avian Flu through bird feces — though as long as he's not biting off their heads, we think he's safe. [NME]

• 50 Cent isn't stopping his empire at, well, anything. It seems that his newest venture will be a series of books. Unfortunately, the first installment will not hit the shelves until 2007, but until then you can probably get your Fiddy Fill with his music, movie, video games, or, vitamin water. [Billboard.com]

• The Strokes continue to keep all upcoming ventures very private. They have announced that there will be a "secret" tour to complement their "unleaked" new album and video. [Pitchfork]

• Gwen Stefani is cheating on Gavin Rossdale — or, you know, she isn't. The blonde anti-Hollaback Girl has decided to forgo spending time with her husband in order to record with Pharrell. Gavin continues to shrink into less and less of a man. [MTV]

• Madonna continues to rule the world and have a better body than you ever will despite being 25 years younger. Her new album is causing riots overseas and today, AOL/Network Live will webcast a live performance in London. [Liz Smith]

• The release of Idlewild – Outkast's HBO 1920s period musical and subsequent soundtrack – has been postponed yet again. There is no set date, but hopefully this ragtime masterpiece should be leaking onto the internet sometime next year. [Billboard]

• What do you get when you put Star Jones, Al Reynolds, and OK! magazine together? A tacky trio, desperate for an exclusive on their "anniversary", and a venue pathetic enough to hold the event for free. So far, no takers. [Lowdown]

• Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos have called off their romance, at least for the next few hours. After turning in to Kelly Osbourne's 21st birthday bash at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas into $100,000 in fire and water damages (not to mention Paris' runaway monkey), the duo are taking some cool off time. [Star]

• You would've expected Barbara Bush to be BFFs with Tara Reid, but it's Chelsea Clinton that's filling that role. The duo hooked up while Tara was filming the since-axed Taradise and have been insuperable ever since. That's not pleasing presidential hopeful mama Hillary, who's demanded her daughter stop socializing with the misfit. [Radar]

• That was was no dream — it was an Arabian nightmare in Bahrain, when an unsuspecting woman went into the ladies room and discovered .. Michael Jackson! Or maybe it was LaToya, too close to call. [NYDN]

• Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey is definitely enjoying his life as a gay man, taking to Out 100's party with a one David August, who was (at least officially) not his date. [R&M]

• Tara Reid can behave? Who knew! Her 30th birthday bash was much calmer than it could've been, and you can blame her mom's omnipresent stare for the lack of nip slips. [The Scoop]

• If only you listened to what Diane Dimond has to say instead of intentionally ignoring her barbs, you might agree that Michael Jackson's molestation woes could've (should've?) ended in a mistrial. [Page Six]

• Joaquin Phoenix: Still crazy. At least this time Campbell Robertson got a feel. [Lowdown]

• Since Dakota Fanning is pretty much making bank for her family, it's probably appropriate that she gets whatever she damn well wants at Fred Segal. [Cityrag]

• Michael Jackson is making his move to Bahrain a little more permanent with the purchase of a quarter acre plot of land in the man-made Amway Islands for $1.5 million. Its seclusion will be perfect for, uh, hiding his children from the press. Yeah. That. [NYP]

• The relocated Fulton Fish Market opened for its first day of business at its new Bronx $85 million facility, complying with new federal law that mandates fish be refrigerated. Oh, and not sold by the mob. [NY1]

• Now that actress Amy Carlson is out of a job with Law & Order: Trial By Jury's cancellation, she's got plenty of time to serve on a jury. [New York]

• And we thought Keira Knightley's nip slip had gone unnoticed — or at least undocumented. [The Superficial]

• Jack Osbourne. Cosmo. Naked. Christ. You connect the dots. [A Socialite's Life]

• New Fast Company owner Joe Mansueto's lifestory isn't going to be told with his accomplishments. Rather, by his obnoxious soundbites. [USA Today]

At 52-years-old, ex-reality TV star and rock wifey Sharon Osbourne is still battling bulimia the same way Liza Minelli is still battling gay husbands.

After eight operations – including a stomach staple, facelift and tummy tuck — the mother of suddenly skinny Jack and Kelly reveals she's still battling her eating disorder.

She said: "I'm still bulimic. It's bad but I'm really trying to get better. I stuff myself with food like ice cream and pasta then rush to the loo and make myself sick."

Which, as far as we can tell, is no worse than stuffing yourself on TrimSpa and then saying "baby."

• Victoria Gotti got checked on her breast cancer story, with her longtime publicist Matthew Rich quitting over Gotti's tall tale that was more publicity stunt for the third season of Growing Up Gotti than it was life threatening scare.

• Sharon Osbourne is being accused of orchestrating the pegging of Iron Maiden band members at Ozzfest. She supposedly encouraged Black Sabbath fans to chuck eggs and bottles at the rival band after lead singer Bruce Dickinson slammed metal singers who appear in reality shows.

• R. Kelly is confirmed to be part of this weekend's MTV VMA lineup despite his lingering statutory rape trial. He could deflect all that controversy by going all Britney-Madonna with an Usher smooch.

• Joe Francis' ex Tamara Mellon isn't through with the Girls Gone Wilder. She snuck into the private birthday party of current Francis fling Kimberly Stewart where Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan watched security drag has ass outside.

• Queen Latifah and David Bowie music producer Christian Julian Irwin has gone missing, but not before making a panicked phone call to a friend claiming he was being chased through a ravine.