Two Fridays ago, the publishing world was shocked by the news that Radar magazine folded, and that secret financier Ron Burkle had sold the online equivalent, including the blog Fresh Intelligence, to his frenemies over at AMI.
And David Pecker's first move as chief-in-charge was to fire all the writers of the blog, and install some putzes from his Star and National Enquirer staff to give daily updates about tabloid-y celebrity escapades. No one has looked at the site since.
But! Once in awhile we venture back to see how the AMI is treating the once clever site, and it never ceases to depress us after we do so.
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Even though Owen Wilson is re-romancing Kate Hudson, the blitz of publicity from the tabloids didn't help his film career any. Comedy Drillbit Taylor took in only $10 million over the weekend. By ways of comparison, a single set of photos of the blonde couple holding hands swept up $100,000, or 1 percent of the movie's opening gross.
Even after spending $6 million for Jennifer Lopez's new twins, People magazine couldn't resist also being the magazine that scored those first pics of Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson holding hands. (Smart move keeping Marc Anthony off the cover though!) Us Weekly is said to have dropped out of the bidding for the photos, proving too costly at around $100,000, and was instead forced to go with (yet another) Lauren Conrad cover.
Since none of the celebrity tabloids that hit newsstands today have the $100,000 photos of Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson holding hands, we can only assume People magazine was the highest bidder. We'll know tomorrow.
In the latest round of overpriced celebrity photos, we're hearing Splash News' exclusive pictures of Kate Hudson holding hands with Owen Wilson in Miami are commanding a whopping six-figure sum.
The photos, caption writers will lead you to believe, are the first evidence the twosome have resumed their romance since A) he tried killing himself; and B) rumors surfaced that they began dating again. And those caption writers would be correct!
One source suggests only Us Weekly and People have the budgets to remain in the bidding war against each other, where the price of the pics is expected to go for over $100,000.
The photos will also provide the winning tabloid with a nice sidebar: It's been reported Owen Wilson had been romancing Marley & Me co-star Jennifer Aniston, which, of course, is now totally false because he's totally in love with his old blonde flame and would never risk his mental stability to date two A-listers at once.
• Rachel Bilson can finally join the Facebook group, She Bangs, She Bangs.*
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson back together? Awkward …
• Amy Winehouse needs to get back to rehab if she thinks a make-up line is a smart business venture.
• J. Lo lets her babies know she loves them through purchased goods.
• Hugh Jackman is a jacked man.
*Not a real Facebook group.
[Photo]
• Owen Wilson was caught shopping for a bong in Venice Beach. He's back, baby!
• No one is interested in stories about Ashlee Simpson's new album. That goes does double for her new nose.
• David Beckham does goodwill work in Sierra Leone. That and a nickel will get you on the subway, buddy. Where's your goodwill adopted infant refugee?
• Amy Winehouse's rehab strategy ensures that we'll be seeing cracked-out pictures of her for some time.
• Hey, did you hear? Heath Ledger died.
• Kim Kardashian : So much more than a big ass.
Courtney Hazlett, "The Scoop" columnist for MSNBC.com said, "In a lot of ways, this reminds me — we've almost had a dress rehearsal for this with Owen Wilson."
Good Morning America is probably already on the phone with Owen Wilson. Fortunately, talking to the media about another young star's death in the wake of his own attempted suicide is probably exactly what Wilson wants to do.
[Photo: scene in front of Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment right now.]
EMPTY PROMISES If you're a celebrity, and Men's Vogue promises you the cover, do not believe them! They might pull a switch-a-roo on you, giving the cover to a blockbuster movie actor while your suicidal tendencies get pushed to the inside pages. [Gatecrasher]
• Mischa Barton's well-defined ribcage proves hell hath no fury like a woman on a no-carb diet.
• Britney too sick to show up in court, not too sick to drive around in her giant Crashmobile.
• Breaking: Tony Parker (a.k.a. Mr. Eva Longoria) may or may not have sent some banal text messages to a person of the opposite sex.
• Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson continue their "Fuck it, we're high" tour of 2007.
• Not even Marilyn Manson is crazy enough to sell his own foreskin. Or is he?
Apparently, one superfluous mention of Manhattan restaurateur—and Page Six benefactor—Nello Balan was not nearly enough. Yesterday's rambling, uninteresting report (that Balan's $1000 was borrowed and inadvertently broken by a leggy model) was promptly followed up by the revelation that said model may, in fact, be dating Owen Wilson. By which, of course, we mean was spotted taking a class with him at Bikram Yoga! Presumably, after meeting him during one of his famous open-door peeing parties.
Frankly, we're happy for Owen but can't help feeling just a little bit disappointed with Page Six. Not just for rehashing the boring umbrella story and for continuing to placate the man who gives them generous cash donations around the holidays, but for not even putting any effort into it. After the jump, the item in full and our analysis. Pay special attention to the noticeable absence of kicker/purpose.
Owen Wilson's rep is already weirdly defensive about his client's new open-door peeing policy. "Can you blame him?" asks the flack. "He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. If he tries to protect himself from innuendo and lies, it gets used against him."
Easy, guy! We're talking about toilet etiquette, not the First Amendment. Besides, we think Wilson's finally got everything all figured out. After all, nothing screams mental health quite like earning a reputation at parties as "the guy who urinates with the bathroom door open." [via Mollygood]
Not surprisingly, it turns out the much-hyped "First Interview With Owen Wilson After That Whole Attempted Wrist-Slitting Incident!" was somewhat anticlimactic. In fact, like most overhyped interviews, it had nothing to do with his personal life, attempted suicide or that bitch Kate Hudson, and everything to do with that movie he (and interviewer/director Wes Anderson) are shamelessly trying to promote.
Because people really tuned into the MySpace tv "Exclusive" to hear Wilson turn to Anderson in the opening moments and say, "Now why don't we start right in with, why India?"
Nice try, Wes. But frankly, we expected more from you. Or at least a "To Be Continued" with a postscript that Part Two of the interview would be shown exclusively during the intermission of The Darjeeling Limited.
… and promoting movies. What a nice Hollywood ending to all his troubles this year. [Mollygood]
Ever shirtless Matthew McConaughey will replace Owen Wilson in Ben Stiller’s upcoming movie, Tropic Thunder. Since McConaughey would never give his heart to a woman, he should be a safe choice. [Variety]
• The New York Times confuses real news with Joseph Gordon-Levitt talking about French accents.
• Wrist Watch: Owen Wilson is out and about.
• From ABC: "Us Weekly, OK! relied on verified circ as newsstands waver." Celebrity weeklies being intentionally deceptive? The horror!
• Meanwhile, our future drinking buddy Kent Brownridge steps up his game, calling for more accurate circ reports and warning Rolling Stone, "There's only room in this town for one totally irrelevant music magazine."
• NYU students beware! AOL is moving its corporate headquarters from Dulles, Virginia to Astor Place, and we hear they're already considering "Off The Wagon" as their new executive hangout.
• GalleyCat tries to pick a fight with Oprah, fails to realize their own relative insignificance
• At a W magazine party honoring Jessica Simpson's new stylist, Simpson commandeers the balcony and makes sure her security guards are there to protect her from the wayward glances of non-famous people.
• David Beckham is sidelined for the rest of the season; "NOOOOOO!" cries the LA Galaxy, everyone who bought non-refundable tickets.
• Not content with merely exploiting every solitary moment of Owen Wilson's public breakdown, the mainstream media changes direction and focuses its attention on ruining the life of his equally famous brother, Luke.
• Certified MILF Bridget Moynahan takes her baby out for his semi-public debut, presumably, after dressing him in his coveted "Supermodel" onesie.
• Natalie Portman, seen through the eyes of a total pervert.
ABC staff and viewers were decidedly not laughing over this clip of World News Now anchors Ryan Owens and Taina Hernandez giggling their way through a segment on actor Owen Wilson's apparent suicide attempt.
No word yet on whether the two will be disciplined by David "He's cute when he's angry" Westin, but the ill-timed "Case of The Giggles" has already triggered an on-air apology, and prompted notorious "corpser" Jimmy Fallon to shake his head in disbelief and remark, "Jeez, even I could have made it through that one."
An Arkansas professor uses Rev. Al Sharpton and Martin Luther King Jr. to suggest that black leaders who have "a major influence" on society are often inextricably linked with the church.
We're willing to ignore it until he then goes on to insinuate that white people [Ed: Like, say, Owen Wilson??] would be far less self-destructive if they'd simply sit their heathen addicted-to-heroin asses down in a church pew every once in a while.
• Madonna finds another Malawi "orphan" to rescue snatch away from the evil clutches of her biological parents.
• CBGB's is dead. And now so is its founder.
• Owen Wilson is officially dropped from the upcoming "Frat Pack" comedy, Tropical Thunder, presumably because they don't allow movie cameras into the suicide ward of Cedars-Sinai hospital.
• Tucker Carlson doesn't hate gay people. He just likes beating them up in public restrooms.
• Facebook trounces Google 15-11 in a heated game of ultimate frisbee. "Huh," murmured a stunned Google tosser. "So that's what it feels like to come in second."
Editorial Director
